09 November, 2006

She makes ice seem so... tropical

The security desk receptionist at Penn is a frosty cold woman. I'll start at the beginning...

So when I started working here, I didn't have a Penn ID card. I still don't, and never will (which is more than annoying on several levels, this being only one of them.) So every day I have to sign in at the security desk and engage in a cat-and-mouse question and answer session, in which she attempts to find out what I'm 'really doing here.' For the first two weeks this session lasted about 5-7 minutes on a daily basis, despite my boss coming down on the first two days (at her bequest, none the less) and explaining that I do indeed work there and to please just let me through.

She continued this for almost two full weeks, asking for my name, phone number and ID every single day. EVERY DAY. So finally she acquiesced to just letting me sign in and show her photo ID every day. As if one day she might catch me using another ID or something and have reason to deny me admittance to the building. Who knows, I might steal something from the library. Of course, there's a security guard there, too, who always asks for my ID as well.

As I was coming in this morning, there was a couple standing at the desk. They had been in line in front of me at the coffee shop minutes before, and I knew that he is a student here, but that she goes somewhere in upstate NY and was down for the extended weekend to visit. He is a 1L, and wanted to show her around the school, I guess.

So they're in front of me at the desk. The girl is rooting through her jacket pocket, obviously looking for ID. I can almost hear desk guards thoughts. Something along the lines of "OH HELL NO." The girl had several credit cards, a napkin, some hair ties and other assorted things spread on the counter, but no ID.

She explained to the guard that she had been robbed only last night (details at right), and hadn't had time to get a new license, so she was looking for her student ID. Apparently the credit cards and assorted other nonsense weren't in the wallet at the time. She found it, apparently, and handed it to the guard. The guard looked at it, glanced up at the girl and shook her head.

She didn't let her in because the ID didn't have a birth date. It's a photo ID for fuck's sake, isn't that what you need? The girl came to Philadelphia, got robbed only hours ago, and this overzealous guard won't let her in when she has a photo ID? Incredible. Couple all that with the fact that I say hi and ask her how she is doing twice daily and she has not once even acknowledged that I posed a question, or my existence beyond querying me regularly on my motives for entering the building, and you get a recipe for small divergences from what's expected.

I've started writing different names in the guest log, by the way, and she has yet to notice. You'd think someone so damn security conscious would check those logs after grilling people for 5 minutes about who they are, but whatever.

Fergie (of the Black Eyed Peas) was at Penn Law yesterday. It says so in the log. Jack Del Rio is visiting on Monday, I believe.

People taste like Bacon. Which is awesome, because bacon rules.


Blogger Paul Tsikitas said...

Oh Man. That is seriusly scary news. If people taste like bacon annd prosciutto, I might have th ebecome a cannibal.

It probably said bacon because the guy was sweaty and bacon is salty.

But if not, god DAMN do I want some human bacon right now. I wonder if it's healthier than turkey bacon...

11:46 AM, November 10, 2006  

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