06 December, 2006

They're fun until your friends find out...

If you belong to facebook, this will probably ring true. If not, you may want to join up just to see if it does once you've read further.

One of my horrible joys in life is looking up people with whom I went to high school. Not just for pure remember when purposes, no. Rather, I like to see who got fat (Note: this only works if you yourself have not gotten fat. Which I haven't.)

Yeah, there's girls (and guys) who have put on more than a few pounds since May 18, 2002. Like, a lot more than a few. Not to name names, because frankly only one or two people who read this rag would know them anyway. I applaud those with whom I graduated who have either maintained their physique, are trying to do so, or simply have the wherewithal to not post pictures in which that look about as big as one of those little cars that Europeans drive.

Seriously though, if I do go to my 5 years reunion, Gwen will have to stop me from saying something incredibly inappropriate to someone. To a person, every former classmate who has since become monstrously large is someone that I can see living in the suburbs of Bel Air all their life, making a mid-level income, hosting Tupperware parties and ladies luncheons, and generally being bitchy all the time.

I'm a horrible person because I make fun of fat people, and I'm fine with that. I'm not the slimmest of the slim, but a walk down memory lane, thanks to facebook, makes me feel good about myself almost every time. Yeah like I said, I'm a horrible person.

Maybe someday I'll write about my idea for a great documentary that would be equivalent to cinematic shit hitting the fan.


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