09 January, 2007

I need a liberal detector so I can steer clear of them

The Christmas bush is still sitting on my desk, and today a woman from my office walked by and commented that I should 'do something about it' and that it looked 'sickly.' I have been ignoring it since it was placed there a little less than a month ago, and yes, it is beginning to look sickly. But I will be damned if I'm going to take the time to unwrap it's lights, remove the decorative bulbs, and dispose of the pine boughs and clean out the vase big enough to store a volleyball.

I'm not touching the thing, it can sit there dropping needles until April for all I care. I didn't put it there, didn't want it in the first place, and am certainly not going to be the one to remove it.

Edit: The bush is now gone. This afternoon the same woman who installed it came by and took the horrid thing away.

In my last post I wrote about listening to the Orioles on WBAL while I was growing up. Apparently they're switching all their games to WHFS 105.7 FM now. Gone are the days of tinkering with the antenna, and listening to a fuzzy Fred Manfra on the AM. I'm not sure how to feel about this, but they're keeping the same broadcasters so it'll be clear at least. Since coming to Philly four and a half years ago, I have missed those springtime games, the static fading in and out based on cloud cover.

This morning while in Bucks County Coffee I again had it hammered home why I enjoy being in a relationship. When you're single, you're always looking for women (or alternately men), judging them on their various qualities and perceived shortcomings, getting to know them and trying to discern if they would be good date material. All in about 30 seconds, the time between seeing them and their taking leave or your presence.

As I was waiting in line, a girl walked in and took the spot behind me. Since I judge everyone (you do it too, don't lie), I thought to myself 'she's kind of nice looking, not a bombshell but not terribly plain. Kind of granola.' What transpired was oddly appropriate considering my initial observation. I should have known better; the hemp sandals should have been a clear warning sign. Especially since it's cold today. Since there are two people working at Bucks, I ordered and then she stepped up behind me to order. As I was contemplating exactly what it was about her that caused me not to write her off instantly, she spoke. At which point I wrote her off, bringing me to the point of this story.

"I'll have this [a Fuze weight loss drink], a macchiato, and granola."
Granola? I think to myself. Seriously?
"Do you want milk with your granola?" said the server.

"Do you have [insert some sort of soy milk I didn't quite pick up but was way to intense for me here]?"

"Umm, no. We have regular Soy Milk."

"How do you expect me to drink that, though?" said the girl, who it now was quite clear had hippie roots. "It's so fatty."

"So you don't want it?"

"No, I don't."

"Should I get the granola, then?" asked the server.

"I'll just have the macchiato."

"You want the soy milk in that?" said the server.

"No, whole," answered the girl whose dietary decisions make little to no sense. "It tastes better."
This girl was being so damn picky about the soy milk in her granola (granola!) and then didn't give a shit about what was used in her drink? Pretty sure whole milk and caramel/vanilla syrup aren't any less fatty after you steam them. Also, it's a Bucks County Coffee, not some health food bodega. If this girl was carrying a copy of Abbie Hoffman's "Steal This Book" I would not have been surprised.

I'm so glad that, for going on three years, I haven't had to worry that everytime I thought someone was mildly attractive, they might turn out like that and then I'd have to start over again. It's nice being at a relatively secure place.

Also, since the manager at Bucks and I have a good rapport, when I was in later in the day he comented to me that the "psycho chick" from that morning is in there all the time. Apparently some days she's picky about the soy milk, some days she's not. And some days she gets whole milk on her granola.


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