15 March, 2007

Warm weather does not mean you should remove your underwear

She wanted it, and bad too. Without so much as checking to see who might be looking, the blonde at the next table took her panties off and slammed the rest of her drink.

"I hope he's ready for a good night," she stated bluntly.

From her conversation, I gathered that 'he' was the waiter, to whom she had slipped her number in the bill, and with whom she was anticipating big things to come for the rest of the evening.

Swiveling in her chair, she scoped the restaurant for a glimpse of the object of her affection. Gwen and I wanted a bite, and Drew's girlfriend Michelle works at Snack Bar, a tapas style restaurant, so we had stopped in. I didn't think dinner would come with a free peep show, but the spectacle played out.

It started when we sat down. The tables are close, so it became very clear very quickly that this particular blonde was a good way into her evening based on the volume of her voice and her assertion that she "wasn't drunk."

"I'm the most in control person you will ever meet" she told her more sober companion, who had just suggested she get some water or coffee. Sure you are hun. How about that water? No? Want to eye-fuck the waiter a bit more? Okay...

She undressed the waiter with her eyes, going so far as to lick her lips, as he went about his business. Then, with a sly glance at her friend, she reached down. Hiking up her skirt, she grasped her panties, yanking them down her legs and over her shoes.

She balled them up and held them aloft over the table. They were a muted gold and matched her skirt. Her friend covered her mouth in surprise, and the blonde stuffed her underthings into her purse. They they high fived, with the same hand she used for her recent undressing.

Not sure what the waiter's position on all of this was, but he certainly could not have had any idea of exactly how graphic her intentions were. Minutes after removing her panties, she undid the first four buttons of her top, plumping her assets together with her palms. This blonde wasn't messing around. Since her outfit was a one-piece skirt and top, and she had already undone the bottom two or so buttons, there were only about three buttons between her being clothed and being nearly stark naked. I felt it was my duty to inform him as a fellow male that this broad was ripe for the picking, and that it may be in his best interest to go ahead and give her a call, but I didn't.

Deciding that it was time for her to leave, she told her friend that she needed help finding her car, to which her friend replied that she should get some coffee or something first. She had been trying to get the drunk blonde to drink something other than wine and mixed drinks since we arrived, but with no success.

"I'll be right back," the blonde announced. She gathered her jacket and purse and left Snack Bar. She was clearly not coming back. Her friend watched her turn out of the door, and sat back down. The couple at the next table objected to her leaving.

"She needs to drink some water first," they insisted. "She's in no condition to drive like that."

"It's okay," replied the friend. "She's headed the wrong way anyway."


Based on my uninspired performance in last years March Madness bracket, I filled out five brackets this year, all on espn.com. One is based on this website. Check that shit out. These dudes don't mess around. I still wouldn't bet more than $5 on any bracket, but if I had to, I'd take these guys word for it.

Yesterday was opening day for a different season:


Blogger James said...

My god...

I think something like that once happened at the R and R when I was there, but I'm a bit hazy on the details.

10:56 AM, March 16, 2007  
Blogger j. leo said...

They ranked La Salle 212? I didn't expect them to crack 300.

I also filled out five brackets on EPSN, but none of them had UNC going all the way. Nothing against them, but they have the toughest road.

1:50 AM, March 17, 2007  

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