12 November, 2007

Despite my hyprocrisy I still don't like fat people

The pants of my grey suit have fat man lines on the front. I tried to put them on this morning and got as far as the kitchen before it became painfully clear that the pants didn't fit the same as they did 20 pounds ago. Small wonder huh?

At the beginning of the month Gwen and I joined a gym. It's because I'm fat and altogether useless at things having to do with the following physical activities: lifting , walking, climbing stairs and buttoning my pants successfully. Since summer ended, I've had a complete lack of any physical activity in my life. I went from working all summer in a very intense manual labor job to sitting at a desk and wearing collared shirts. Thus I've become a fat, lifeless schlub.

I went almost every day last week and I actually missed going this weekend when I had to work Saturday and Sunday. Gwen enjoys going too so hopefully this will stick. If not I have a new pair of tennis shoes that I will probably never wear again because I don't particularly like tennis shoes in the first place. That and a new gym bag. Goodie.

We have an appointment with a trainer tomorrow to figure out what all the machines are and how to best use them to attain Adonis-like looks. We get two free appointments each, so I think on the second one I'm going to find out about the best way to mix the cardio and nautilus equipment to lose weight. I really would love to fit in to those pants.

Also I don't want to feel guilty about my persistent mockery of the grossly overweight. That I would like to enjoy.

What is it about cold weather that compels college-age girls to put on tights and skirts with those horrible Ugg boots? I know I've stated my dislike of these boots before, but the trend has endured much longer than I could have ever anticipated. It's just unsightly.

I've suffered through the Taco Bell Nacho's Bell Grande commercial more times than I care to remember. I don't want Taco Bell, I'm just pissed over it. The only saving grace is the tattooed girl is kind of hot, I think. She's only on screen for a second, so I'm not certain.

24 might not air until fall of '08 now. Tony's been driven to drink over the whole ordeal. Jack is, of course, ordering pizza in the background.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Lou - it's Lauren F. from your Collegian days. Since you love to hate fatties, I just wanted to ask if you caught "Return to Fat Camp" on MTV last night. If not, you need to, because obesity + teen angst = hilarity.

6:01 PM, December 03, 2007  
Blogger Drew said...

YOUR only duty is to be in a region of the country at the same time I will be.

I'll be in Colorado from 8-23, then in Boston from the 23-28, and Philly from the 29 on. You'd better be in one of those places, too. OR ELSE.


9:15 AM, December 05, 2007  

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