The New Word Order

The long slow march to the temples

2009-01-06T01:17:00.002-05:00

So the mirror tells me my hairline has begun it's inevitable journey backward, and you know what? Fuck the mirror. I'd love to have longer hair again. I think I'm going to work toward that with as much diligence as possible. I'm not saying I am going to grow out a Jim Morrison style mane or anything, since that has never been particularly suiting for me. No, I think a few more inches would do it. You know, increasing the likelihood of comb over.

This is really the best picture I could find of about the length I'd like it to be. Maybe a little longer. I've had very short hair for a while now, a few years anyway. This picture is from the summer of 2005, and since then my hair has been at least an inch shorter than that.

I just haven't been able to tell I have hair up there when I move my head from side to side in a very long time, and I'd like to let it grow a little bit before, you know, before it's all gone. I'm grasping at straws here.

In other news, Bon Iver's album "For Emma, Forever Ago" is positively brilliant. It reminds me of the Bright Eyes album "I'm Wide Awake It's Morning," but with the voice of Matt Pond PA. It's a very stripped down folksie album, very accessible, although at times a bit too slow.

Also if you mix Bjork with Avril Lavigne, you get Ida Maria, a new guilty favorite.

As well, if you like and appreciate The Pirate Bay, shame on you. However there are some pretty funny responses to all the legal threats they get posted on their website. Funny stuff.

Running in to my mother's double

2008-11-03T20:00:00.000-05:00

Some kids are angry at their parents from the start. Not that this picture is a good example, just part of what forms the psyche.

Monday Night, 7:40 PM

Sitting in Empire Tea & Coffee, Newport RI

Young guy, 9th or 10th grade, comes in with his mom and her mom. They order at the counter as I watch the backs of their heads from my table.

She orders an English Breakfast tea, he gets hot chocolate. Grandmother is along for the ride.

The table in front of my seat is set up to accommodate the creamer urns, sugar and swizzle sticks. Mom comes over for a little of each, spilling the creamer all over. She starts laughing in the way people do who don't give a rip about what others think with them and who can revel in their own amusement.

Her son, however, didn't seem so carefree. "Mom, please," he said, embarrassed. I smiled at the sentiment I remember sharing at one point (or more) in my life. She looked at me and smiled. "That's my son," she said. He stepped behind her so I couldn't see him.

"Mom's pretty nuts huh?" I asked his outline.

She looked amused, he looked mortified, from what I could tell.

"My mom's the same way, she'll talk to anyone," I said to her. "Don't you hate that, when she talks to strangers? Pretty annoying huh?"

No response from the outline.

"It's okay, few years from now college girls will like that you love your mother," I said.

He was outed from behind her back, because she turned to face him.

"See," she said. "Now I'm going to embarrass you even more. You're my son, you have to take it."

He smiled.

He'll be fine.

Talking Heads redux

2008-06-20T18:27:00.003-04:00

David Byrne has done some funky stuff in his career as a musician/artist. So has Fatboy Slim. Together they're just silly. Observe this recent viral video:

Funny stuff.

Slow day in Rhode Island today. Nothing else to say really.

Narragansett is the new Yuengling

2008-05-28T03:00:00.000-04:00

I thought late nights would end with college and that I would, after graduation, gain some semblance of normalcy in my schedule. Judging from the time stamp on this post, I was wrong.

Memorial Day Meatwave II was excellent. So much assorted meat grilled throughout the weekend. Food coma most of the day on Tuesday.

Do you ever want to add fat people who you knew in the past on Facebook to find out if they're still fat because you can't tell from their tiny little picture? I do. There's a lot of future soccer moms from high school I kind of want to check in on.

Things going on with me recently:
- I still live in Rhode Island, and it's still small.
- I recently moved from Providence to Warwick. The suburbs are nice this time of year.
- I'm still working for the Boy Scouts, and I still have no desire to collect patches of any kind.
- I bought a used Jeep Wrangler to combat Ford Focus malaise.
- I've listened to 4 Cat Stevens albums tonight

My life is a rich and full oyster.

If anyone wants to sell me a copy of Adobe InDesign or Photoshop CS3 cheap, let me know.

So here's a random thought I had last night as I was going to sleep that at the time I thought would make a good idea for a blog post but since have realized it's pretty boring. My blog = I write what I want.

So you know how an atom is pretty tiny, right? What if inside every atom of everything there is another whole universe? What if our entire universe is just part of some random atom in the leaf of some plant in a universe unimaginably larger than our own? What if inside each atom of this universe exists another much smaller collection of life and empty space?

Obviously there's the whole time difference to think about, but perhaps that's all just part of it. Maybe when we finally send a space craft far enough out, it will hit the edge and resonate like a basketball hitting the floor of an empty gymnasium.

Jane Goodall on location

2008-03-07T14:28:00.004-05:00

The other day at the gym, I had the pleasure of toiling on the eliptical next to one of nature's unfortunates: the emo gorilla. Granted, it's not out of the ordinary to see new faces at the gym every now and again, especially after the new year begins. It tends to bring out the resolution fatties who toil for a week or two before sliding back down the slippery slope of powdered sugar mini-donuts. However, it's not often an emo gorilla graces a family Gym in Cumberland, RI as far as I've been able to tell. I had to investigate further.

She was a stereotypical gorilla, with the glasses and black hair artfully aligned to where I imagine her jaw line would be were it not obscured by plump. Of course there was also the monroe piercing, barely distinguishable from the last desperate strains of her teenage acne. She had pink stretch pants on, with the "juicy" gothic text across the posterior. Who doesn't love that? (Hint: me.)

The best part of her gym attire, outside of the iPod touch with the post punk cranked up to 9, was her shirt. Barely covering her most obvious asset, her black T displayed a fondness for what I imagine to be a Danzig cover band. Just below the skull on the back of the shirt was the following text:

"See your Hell."

"Yeah," I thought to myself as I stepped off of the eliptical. "Pretty much."

The moral of the story is that listening to post punk weakens your resolve to follow a diet of less than 3,000 calories a day.

That's all I got.

Texas

2008-02-22T16:44:00.000-05:00

Westlake, Texas has been nice, but I'm ready to go home.

I've been here for 12 nights, with two more to go.

My bags are packed.

I've shipped a box of things home ahead of me.

All I have to do now is sit and wait. Until Sunday. Because my flight on Friday afternoon was canceled, and there were no available flights until Sunday morning.

I'm over Texas and I haven't even gotten out much.

Here are a few pictures from the Saturday evening and Sunday I was out.

Longhorn in Fort Worth.The Sixth floor corner window is where Oswald sat to assassinate Kennedy.The cubes filled with all the stuff we accumulated during the two-week class. If information was water the course was like trying to drink out of an open fire hydrant.In front of the National Scouting Museum.

All in all Texas was nice. But home is nicer.

Take my phone

2007-12-18T18:30:00.001-05:00

New Razr on Cingular/Att, 2,000+ rollover minutes, 250Daytime/UnlimitedN&W minutes, Philadelphia area code. That's the deal. I switched to Verizon in October but never canceled my Cingular account (apparently). I was told when I called today I could transfer my account to a new name and address within 59 days and still retain all my built up shite.

If you're looking for a good deal on a cell phone, here it is. The account has a Philadelphia area code, with 250 anytime minutes a month and unlimited nights and weekends. The plan doesn't have texts, but you could get those for an extra $5 a month. All told it's something like $45 a month. No roaming or long distance either so if you're not from Philly and don't care about the 215 area code, it's a good deal.

The best part, though, is that since I am at the end of my contract, the account is eligible for an upgrade to a Motorola Razr, or possibly Slvr (which I have now and enjoy very much, by the way.) On top of that, you get to keep my 2,000+ rollover minutes, which means that you shouldn't get an extra charge on your bill for going over your daytime minutes unless you talk an unholy amount.

So, if you want a new phone with a cheap plan and a ton of rollover minutes with a Philadelphia area code, let me know. Comment, e-mail, call me or whatever.

Oh yeah, I'll just give it to you, I'm not a dick like that.

Someone please take this. I'm going to be pissed if someone doesn't benefit from the 2,000 rollover minutes I've frugally built up.

Have a take, don't suck. Rack it.

2007-12-12T00:19:00.000-05:00

Time for some change. Not to the blog (aside from the new banner), but in my opinion.

See, I used to hate Jim Rome. In college, I was obsessive about my ESPN viewing. After classes would finish, the mid-afternoon usually presented a perfect time for uninterrupted sports media consumption before dinner; my only problem was Rome came on right in the middle of that block. I hated his manner of speech mostly; that slow to develop, halting style for which I myself am noted for by Gwen, much to her annoyance. His whole persona really irked me, but I watched anyway because, well, it's sports commentary right?

Something's changed though, and today I think I pinned down what it is. I never listened to his radio show in Philly, so I didn't know that there was something other than the softball questions and insufferable Roger Lodge co-commentary. This summer I listened to the show on and off, and really grew to appreciate it.

The problem I have with a many radio hosts is their attitude. It's easy to verbally beat up on callers and discredit their opinions, especially in an area (New England) where tensions over professional sports run rather high. Dennis and Callahan, the two morning wonk's on WEEI, spend so much time yelling at each other and at the callers that there isn't much in the way of content. Rome is good because there's no co-host to bicker with, and there's a national focus. This keeps the three hour discussion from being solely focused on Johann Santana, Eric Mangini, etc.

Last week I was dropping off flyers to elementary schools in the East Bay area for work. I walked into one of the schools, and was hit with the smell of cafeteria. I knew instantly that it was pasta day, or at least lasagna. It smelled exactly like my middle school cafeteria when the lunch was spaghetti with meat sauce and rolls. Really strange how that sort of thing comes back to you so clearly with no more than a smell to trigger it.

My recent addiction to Battlestar Galactica is all consuming. It's like a soap opera in space. Season three is so damn good, ~~I just can't stop watching~~ I finished already and don't know what to do with myself.

Who the hell is Hannah Montana, and why do I keep hearing about her? Anyone? I thought she was on TV but apparently she does music too. Also Zac Efron seems a bit effeminate. I mean he looks like a bitch.

I detest hate the Converse commercial with the tiny singing broad with the crappy bangs. See it here if you must. I counted a week or so ago, and I believe I saw the commercial 12 times in a single sitting. I sat there for a while, but all the same. It's a bit of overkill. It would definitely be a bit better if the girls voice wasn't so damn annoying. Or if her bands name (her friggin band!) wasn't Care Bears on Fire. Or if, you know, I'd never seen it. I suppose turning off the TV isn't a viable option.

Seth is back in the United States. He said he didn't want to go out for Chinese food. Party pooper.

Doughty on New Years Eve with Gwen and Turco.

Despite my hyprocrisy I still don't like fat people

2007-11-12T02:20:00.000-05:00

The pants of my grey suit have fat man lines on the front. I tried to put them on this morning and got as far as the kitchen before it became painfully clear that the pants didn't fit the same as they did 20 pounds ago. Small wonder huh?

At the beginning of the month Gwen and I joined a gym. It's because I'm fat and altogether useless at things having to do with the following physical activities: lifting , walking, climbing stairs and buttoning my pants successfully. Since summer ended, I've had a complete lack of any physical activity in my life. I went from working all summer in a very intense manual labor job to sitting at a desk and wearing collared shirts. Thus I've become a fat, lifeless schlub.

I went almost every day last week and I actually missed going this weekend when I had to work Saturday and Sunday. Gwen enjoys going too so hopefully this will stick. If not I have a new pair of tennis shoes that I will probably never wear again because I don't particularly like tennis shoes in the first place. That and a new gym bag. Goodie.

We have an appointment with a trainer tomorrow to figure out what all the machines are and how to best use them to attain Adonis-like looks. We get two free appointments each, so I think on the second one I'm going to find out about the best way to mix the cardio and nautilus equipment to lose weight. I really would love to fit in to those pants.

Also I don't want to feel guilty about my persistent mockery of the grossly overweight. That I would like to enjoy.

What is it about cold weather that compels college-age girls to put on tights and skirts with those horrible Ugg boots? I know I've stated my dislike of these boots before, but the trend has endured much longer than I could have ever anticipated. It's just unsightly.

I've suffered through the Taco Bell Nacho's Bell Grande commercial more times than I care to remember. I don't want Taco Bell, I'm just pissed over it. The only saving grace is the tattooed girl is kind of hot, I think. She's only on screen for a second, so I'm not certain.

24 might not air until fall of '08 now. Tony's been driven to drink over the whole ordeal. Jack is, of course, ordering pizza in the background.

My various neuroses have kept me from literacy all these years

2007-11-09T02:12:00.000-05:00

I finally have my chair back.

No, it's not the one on the left, I just don't feel like getting up and taking a picture of mine.

The chair, which has been in the house since I can remember, is simple and lacks any frills. The goldenrod color isn't really the most attractive, but in the era from which the chair hails, it was the bees knees. It's sunken in about as much as it's ever going to be, but it doesn't have an uncomfortable depression in the center as often happens with furniture. The arms are close enough that I can rest both my elbows on them at the same time and be comfortable, and low enough that I can throw one of my legs over to the left or right and not feel like I'm tipping to the side.

The chair is originally from Hochschild Kohn, a Baltimore department store that went out of business in 1983. It is part of the Federal Hill Collection, based I assume on the period style of the Baltimore neighborhood. Federal Hill in Providence is also, appropriately enough, within walking distance of my current apartment.

I'm so elated to finally have this chair back in my life after so many years of doing without. It's the most comfortable reading chair I've ever used. I can't find a position in it that I don't like. I've always read in this chair because of that reason. I can be as restless as I want and still concentrate on my book. It's also untainted by other mental influences. I've never used it to watch TV or play video games. I've never used it to lounge around in the living room or to sit in while doing schoolwork. It's a reading chair and nothing else. I don't see myself using it for anything else, which is comforting.

I haven't had a quiet place to read in a long time, and I'm glad to have that back. Living in a dorm, which I did for two years, provides obvious reasons as to the lack of quiet privacy. For two years off-campus, there were always people around in the house, making it pretty hard to get any real reading done that wasn't accomplished while I was in bed. And I like bed to be bed, not a reading lounge. During my senior year of college I lived off campus I had a love seat in my room, but it sagged a lot in the middle and was generally uncomfortable (It's still in my apartment because I've been too poor to buy a new piece of furniture.)

Last year in Philadelphia there simply wasn't enough room in my apartment to accommodate any more furniture beside the bare essentials. I found it completely impossible to read there, because there was nowhere in the apartment besides the bathroom where one could just sit and be in silence.

And now to my current apartment. It has a living room and kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. But it also has a second bedroom, which is where the chair comes in. In that room is a fold-out couch for guests, the computer desk, bookshelf and now, my reading chair. All I need is a lamp to augment the poor overhead lighting in the room and an end table to sit my beverage on and I'll be all set. Man it feels damn good to have that chair back. Just knowing that I could go in there and sit if I wanted to is so comforting.

Speaking of reading I saw recently in Duane's blog that 'The Blonde' was released in paperback. I've been waiting for it, since I'm cheap, so I ordered it and read it in two sittings. I love that Duane writes about Philadelphia, because when he mentions places like Little Pete's I not only know where it is but what the place is like, inside and out. It's really neat. If you're from Philly or live in the area it's a good book even if you're not into the whole pulp fiction crime sort of thing.

I was supposed to go to the Pats-Buffalo game in Buffalo next weekend, but that fell through. We didn't get tickets in time, and the game sold out. A sell out, in Buffalo. Apparently that's unheard of. However the Pats are good, and Buffalo is a hot team right now. Also, it's within a weekend driving trip from New England, so I'm assuming a lot of fans are going. Oh well. I'll have to wait for my first football game. Perhaps it's just not in the cards.

Instead I would love to go to the Mike Doughty show at the Lizard Lounge in Boston that Saturday night (The 17ht), but tickets are sold out for that also. Man, I'm kind of behind right?

Why do all the profiles I stalk on MySpace suddenly pop up as friends only? Geez, isn't that kind of defeating the point of the internet? How annoying. I'm also a big fan of hyprocrisy.

Lou Reed's Sunday Morning Incarnate

2007-10-28T20:04:00.000-04:00

I really haven't watched a lot of football this season, by my own standards. Certainly not as much as I have the past couple years when I lived with Drew. The Baltimore games are never on here, since Providence is a AFC city in a different division than the Ravens. Plus, the Pats are so good that you don't really need to watch the games past halftime (the first quarter in some cases.) You know when you start watching a show and 15 minutes in to it you realize you've seen it before and already know the ending? It's kind of like that.

Gwen astutely pointed out that there has also been end of season and playoff baseball on almost every Sunday so far this NFL season, which is more important to me anyway. But with the World Series coming to a conclusion in the next few days (hours), I can at least pay a little more attention to football, although I doubt I'll be watching many more games save for the few times the Ravens have a national game, and I've already marked my calendar for those.

Instead of getting up on Sundays and watching football from 1pm to 10 pm like I've done the past few years, I've been spending Sundays with Gwen. We usually get coffee in the morning or early afternoon at Blue State Coffee on Thayer St. I like it because they use fair trade and organic products, but don't push their liberal values down the throats of their customers. Plus they make good soy lattes, and Gwen loves their iced and hot chai.

After we've finished coffee and what we can accomplish of the Providence Phoenix crossword, she and I are usually busy the rest of the afternoon. Today we went to the park and took some pictures of the Providence skyline before coming home. Last week we went to her parent's house, had dinner and watched the Sox game. A few weeks ago we went grocery shopping. But generally we're busy most of the afternoon. It's nice because we get to spend time together that we haven't had during the week.

Then, alter at night, she falls asleep on the couch and I watch NFL Live to see what I've missed. It's a winning combination.

I've been trying to cook more lately, also generally on the weekends. I made the best pulled pork I've had since the Georgia Pig the other day. Marinated overnight, and simmered for 11 hours in the crock pot, doused in apple cider vinegar, honey, ketchup and onion. Tasty. It was my treat for the first game of the world series. I enjoyed it with an ice-cold tall boy of Narragansett.

I also tried my hand at some there bean paella. It was a recipe from the Book "Beans" by Aliza Green, a woman who I interviewed a while back for the Chestnut Hill Local. You'll notice me on the left there poring over the book. Gwen's had her camera out more often recently, as a sidenote to this whole post. It sounded interesting, so I figured what the hell. It didn't seem like the recipe would produce that much, so I doubled it. Big mistake. I spent the entire afternoon cooking beans, chopping a variety of strange ingredients, and wondering what the big freaking deal is over Saffron. You know that shit's $15 or more for a quarter ounce?

I ended up with about 5 pounds of paella, enough to fill a large pot twice over. There are still leftovers in the fridge, although they are in that stage where I know I'm not going to eat them but I can't throw them out yet. Don't ya hate that? I feel so guilty about throwing it away, but I suppose after eating paella every day for almost a week, it's time for a break.

And now, your moment of Zen:

Fenway Park South?

2007-09-06T23:27:00.000-04:00

Jim Hunter and Fred Manfra used to lull me to sleep during the baseball season. Almost every night I would lay in bed listening to WBAL 1090AM, the broadcast home of the Baltimore Orioles. Without headphones, I would turn the radio way down to keep from waking my mom, and the low buzz of the AM broadcast would often put me to sleep before the end of the game. I would always know it was a good finish if I woke up to the cheer of the last out.

Then I went to college and didn't get to hear many O's games. I would listen when I was home, but that really wasn't too often during the season. Occasionally the game would be on TV, but Philadelphia is a National League town so it was a very rare occasion the birds had the national spotlight.

I grew up a Baltimore Orioles fan, and I would still love to take in a game every so often at Camden Yards. I enjoy watching the Red Sox as well, and not because of '04; I just enjoy the sport of baseball. I'd watch the Royals play the Devil Rays if it was the only thing on. Despite my current residence (Providence), which is deeply mired within 'Red Sox Nation,' I still root for the Orioles and wish them the best.

I remember Cal Ripken Sr., Frank Robinson, Johnny Oates and Davey Johnson. I remember Brady Anderson, Cal Ripken Jr., Roberto Alomar, B.J. Surhoff and Eric Davis. I remember when the Orioles won the AL East in '97, the last team to do so that wasn't named the Yankees. I remember people caring about a relevant team; I guess those days are gone (for now).

This evening I watched Papelbon pitch a perfect ninth to open the most recent Sox/Birds series, and after the final strikeout, the roar from the crowd was boisterous, cheering Paps as he left the mound. The NESN cameras panned around the stadium and the stands were filled with Blue and Red, not Black and Orange. The Orioles walked off the field, outsiders in their own ballpark. I know it's kind of silly, but I haven't felt that sad in a long time.

Aldo Leopold knew a thing or two

2007-08-25T20:45:00.000-04:00

Pine and birch, more so than any other type of wood, are very satisfying to split.

Uncut pine splits cleanly with little effort, and the rare knots slide without resistance between the split pieces. The sticky bubbles of sap that gather at the ends of the logs as they age occasionally cover the fingertips, but are soon rubbed away by the continuous friction that comes along with that type of labor. The bark sheets off cleanly if it comes off at all, and it is a rare occasion to find the log crawling with ants or maggots.

Birch splits in the same easy manner as pine; wet or dry, gnarled or straight, the smooth logs come apart cleanly, leaving only the sweet smell or the soda to which the tree gives its name. Inside, both are clean and white, free of imperfections. Their grain aligns itself in straight rows, without much swirling or twisting.

Unlike pine and birch, oak logs are tedious to split. The grain seems to weave together as the tree grows and each twist of the log, each knot along its length makes it that much harder to separate the split pieces from each other. The finished chunks of wood are difficult to stack, given their twisted nature. During the splitting process, oak emits a pungent odor, even when freshly cut, that is reminiscent of rotting wood. Unlike the sweet birch or the syrupy pine scent, which is strongest when the wood is fresh, the strong smell of oak can only be appreciated when it has been cured.

Oak carries a unique trait that separates it from pine or birch, however, that makes it my favorite wood to split. An oak tree is a living creature, and like most creatures it is aware of itself. These trees do not, obviously, have the same self-awareness that humans and higher mammals possess, but they are aware all the same.

The exterior of an oak log is a complicated pattern of lumpy bark, and if one were to plunge a nail deep into this bark, it would quickly be encompassed, overgrown by bark and moss. Inside, though, something strange occurs. The tree, aware of the presence of iron in its trunk, disperses a brown hue along the entire length of the trunk alone the same grain through which the nail has passed. The further toward the center of the log the discoloration occurs, the older the scrap of iron is that was lodged somewhere in its trunk.

This rust brown streaks make splitting each individual piece of oak a treat, and worth the difficulty that the splitting brings. The iron, be it a nail, staple, did not get there on its own. Sometime during the lifetime of that tree, for fun or function, someone intentionally drove that bit of metal into the tree. The metal does not kill the tree, it merely discolors it. In an odd way, it is satisfying to know that someone somewhere interacted with that same tree which I am now splitting.

Ambrose Sideburn is the business

2007-07-22T20:00:00.000-04:00

I've come to the decision that the kitchen in our apartment looks like the Edward Weston photograph titled "Attic, Glendale, California," conveniently depicted at right.

Gwen informed me that she had already arrived at this decision, so I suppose it's not much of an epiphany. I was the first to voice it however, so my observation trumps hers. So there.

Also, Roy Halladay and Dustin McGowan, both starters for the Blue Jays, have pretty sweet matching sideburns. The Jays are going places. Maybe not in the AL East, but in life. Clearly.

Tramping through the brush

2007-07-13T02:31:00.000-04:00

I've moved to Providence, R.I., into a much larger apartment than the one in Philadelphia. It's not as cold inside due to the distinct lack of air conditioning in all but one room (thanks Home Depot), but it's much bigger. The cats enjoy sliding around on the wooden floor chasing everything that moves in the ubiquitous fan breeze.

The oddest part of moving to Rhode Island is fighting the urge to order a Yuengling every single time I am out. The two comparably priced beverages are Narragansett (at right) and Longtrail. They're both decent, so I've decided that New England isn't all that bad.

There's a very decent bar within walking distance from my apartment called Tammany Hall, which has fairly good prices on beer and allows cigar smoking indoors. It is also open until 2, and seems to be filed with people until the wee hours. Fancy.

The woods has been going well. I've been doing lots of various stuff, from mowing and replacing floorboards on tent platforms to assembling wooden train tracks and painting a water tower. It's the kind of job where, if I'm not careful, my extreme anal retentivity will take over and consume each and every task I am assigned to the point where things will never get finished. It's okay though, I'm fighting it. The most satisfying parts of my day have to do with cleaning. Go figure.

Obviously I don't update too often, but when I write about camp all the time I even bore myself. It's the woods, it's a good time, and I enjoy my job. I don't even have to wear a uniform. For other self-indulgent rambling regarding summer camp say hi to Andy.

Pretty sure I won't be updating too often for the rest of the summer (until at least the end of August), so don't hold your breath. Maybe once or twice before then, but certainly not more. When I'm home now I'd rather watch Walter stalk Millie or sit around with Gwen than hang around on the internets.

But of course, when would an update be without some mention of my (fantasy) baseball team. Things seem to be holding steady despite some serious neglect on my part. After taking a long look at my roster, I think it's time to to re-assess my reasoning for keeping Matt Cain on my fantasy team for two years now. I guess I want him to work out like Eric Bedard, who I have also had for two years now. He's got the potential but no run support whatsoever. If he were on the Sox he'd be challenging Beckett for the ace job. Maybe he'll get better in the second half. Or not.

Also, there was a three-hour block on the Big Show on WEEI this afternoon with most of the discussion centering on where Alex Rodriguez would go at the end of the season. Not once did anyone, not even a caller, mention that he may just finish his contract and stick it out with the Yankees. Not that I'd mind seeing him on any team I root for, but I think he might decide that if he wants that championship ring, he'd be best served staying with the money.

Avoiding technology for fun and profit

2007-05-27T19:39:00.000-04:00

In the middle of the woods in Rhode Island, there isn't much going on, aside from work and sleep. Not much writing here either, obviously.

Some news: Found an apartment in Providence, at Valley St. & Atwells Ave. It's a two-bedroom with all utilities included for a little more than what Gwen and I pay now (including the utility bills.) The place sits next to a park, but is only a few minutes walk from the main drag in Federal Hill, and a few minutes more to Downtown. And we can start moving stuff in on June 1st.

Moving is pretty exciting, and I think Gwen is really going to like the apartment. It has a lot of space, and a lot of neat angles to the rooms since it's on the top floor. The floors are all hardwood, and there is a lot of natural light, especially in the kitchen where there is a large window overlooking the park. The cats will certainly love it if nothing else.

I've been working for three weeks now, mostly fixing tent platforms and bunks, mowing, spreading wood chips and various other maintenance activities befitting of a scout camp. And that's about it. Been to Wal Mart twice, but that's about the only excitement, really. That and the various locals at the 'other' bar within 10 miles of camp.

I'm currently in Philly for Memorial Day weekend, seeing Gwen and the cats. It's nice to be somewhere different with air conditioning and cable television. I think something fishy is going on though as Gwen told me to go ahead and put on the baseball game this evening (edit: she changed it to fat surgery when I went to the bathroom.) Other than that, I'll be in Rhode Island watching my fantasy baseball team slowly flush itself down the toilet. Updates may be sporadic at best; maybe I'll do a little series on the regulars at the bar, who dominate so much of the conversation between the other guys working pre-camp and myself.

Note to Chelsey: Frezza is being good. He said you read this sometimes, so I figured I'd let you know.

You've reached the voicemail of Chase Edmunds, please leave a message

2007-05-03T01:13:00.000-04:00

Gwen and I started watching season 3 of 24 last night, and being home in Bel Air this evening, I decided to watch a few more episodes. I've written before about the phone numbers used in the show, and how they use some of the same numbers for different characters.

Now, in episode 4 of season 3, Chase calls Jack, and on the screen of Jack's phone
a number pops up: 818-749-5115.

Of course I call it because it's not the same number I had in my phone under both Jack and Graem Bauer. Unlike some of the other numbers, this one actually rings when I dialed it.

Then my phone said it was forwarding the call. Then Dave Chappelle's voice clicks in on the other end of the line. It's a bit from a standup special or something.

"Shit is ridiculous, people worship television, they worship the shit.

Say you're watching a movie and one character says to the other what's your number, man, what's the other character always say? 555-5555

Know why they do that? Because people go to the movies and then try to call the characters they just saw.

'Hey is Indiana Jones here?'

'No motherfucker he's fake, this is not his number.'"

I couldn't believe it. Whoever set up that line picked just about the most perfect recording to play for a voice mail I've ever heard. Brilliant.

At least it wasn't securely shredded

2007-04-26T01:25:00.000-04:00

Know what sucks? When you spend a few days getting all your old files archived correctly, all cleaned up and the like on your external drive, and then you delete them all. As in everything. Wiped clean.

Then you spend money on a data recovery program (FileSalvage) which is supposed to be the best for Macs, you let it run for three straight hours and see all the files that you lost back again, then the program "quits unexpectedly" before you can recover them. Then you spend three more hours scanning and it happens again.

That's pretty frustrating, especially seeing the files and knowing that they're still there.

I hope tat tech support :shudder:: is able to fix this program glitch, or else I'm going to be really pissed. Five and a half seasons of 24 and years worth of pictures kind of pissed.

Sickness kind of sucks

2007-04-24T17:00:00.000-04:00

"Excuse me!"

"Yes?"

"Did somebody tow my car?"

"Well, there was a car being towed out front a few minutes..."

"FUCK"

"...ago. It was the one in front of the fire hydrant"

Friday nights can be real slow at the shop.

Things have been real slow lately in general. This Sunday night I caught one of those horrid 24-hour stomach bugs that absolutely lays you out. I started feeling kind of ill on Saturday, on account of helping my mom's fiance dis-assemble his basement woodshop and the large amount of sawdust I inhaled/swallowed. Then on Sunday there was more sawdust, and dinner at my dads. I've settled on the steamed potatoes and hot dogs with vinegar as the ultimate culprit. It was probably the second serving that put me over the edge.

When I got home Sunday night I 'got sick' in a horrific manner, and passed out. I was 'sick' again early Monday morning, and had to go to work at 8. That was a fun day. My back hurt so much I couldn't sit down (on account of the throwing up and clenching muscles and the like). So yeah, got home from work and laid around on the floor, then in bed.

Gwen came home with all sorts of holistic healing things. Like chicken soup, orange juice, ginger ale, and a heating pad. And Aleve. It was pretty great, and by midnight I felt like fantastic. Or at least well enough to take out the trash and wake Gwen from the couch to go to bed.

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I'll be heading to Rhode Island on May 6 (that's a Sunday), and starting work on the 7th. Something different than I've done in the past, as this year I'll have more of a time-regulated job, and I can come home to Philly on the weekends if I want to on occasion (and I do).

I'm only taking one uniform, and I don't plan on wearing it ever. I do need to get some work boots though, as leather bowling shoes really won't cut it this summer.

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Does anyone know a good open source alternative to Quark, Pagemaker, Acrobat or InDesign? I'm in the market.

Cake has a new album out on May 8. Get excited, it's the first in a long while.

Jason Schwartzman just put out an album. I need it like, an hour ago if not sooner.

After a personal tragedy, Dave Lozo is back blogging with a vengeance. One of the better blogs on the internet for sure.

All he needs is a remote and a can of beer. Then this picture will be perfect.

Morrissey would have had something to sing about for this album, that's for sure

2007-04-20T19:40:00.000-04:00

While I seem to always have things to say about the off-kilter or otherwise strange folks that frequent the cafe, I haven't really said that much about the nicer regulars who come in and make my day that much more pleasant.

To start off there's Troy, the owner of the hardware store directly next to the cafe. He always comes in and gets a large coffee and a small coffee for whoever is working with him that day, and always pays with a five. He always leaves a tip too. We had an awkward moment once where I think he thought I wanted to shake his hand, which was not the case. He kind of held his hand out for a few seconds then pulled it back awkwardly. We've been down ever since.

There's Spike, who is a college professor in something smart-related such as math. He always comes in and orders a double espresso, adds nothing to it, and downs the thing in under a minute. I thought he was homeless the first time he came in, but I suppose he's just eccentric. Interesting guy to talk to when he comes in during a slow time.

There are the two Europeans who Gwen reports walked into Jefferson the other day. They always order a double espresso for the shorter one and a double espresso macchiato for the taller. They never tip but are always very polite.

There are the two competitive gay guys who come in and play chess on occasion, who always seem to have arrived from some other sporting event. They never order the same thing and argue playfully the entire time they're in the shop.

Of course there are a slew of students who come in fairly often and are really unremarkable in their mannerisms or eccentricities. Mostly Jefferson students who sink into a deep furrow-browed study session moments after sitting down.

And of course there are the innocuous nut jobs who are here all the time who don't really bother me but seem fairly off their gourd.

My favorite of these is the guy who comes in to work on some audio program who wears these enormous headphones the entire time and practically brings a desktop setup with him. He only ever orders a coffee, and never really drinks it. And then there's the fact that if he's here for three hours, he will use the bathroom no less than six times, and he always announces to me that he's using the bathroom, and would that be okay. At this rate he's used it ten-fold more times than I have since I've worked here.

He tried to bribe me the other day by saying he'd just come from dinner and wasn't hungry and didn't want coffee, but if he left me a tip could he use the internet for a while? I was like 'umm, I guess so, but how about buying a water or something?' He did, and left it unopened on the table when he left.

The most recent of the odd birds is a girl who, if she were a horror movie, would be titled 'It Came From the Mid-West.' She's very friendly, but never wants to buy anything. She purchased an iced latte on Wednesday afternoon while I was working and came back in yesterday (Thursday) evening... and she brought the latte back with her.

'I just put it in the fridge, I couldn't finish it all yesterday' she explained. All I could do was shake my head and laugh. It's not like she didn't buy something, and I didn't really feel like imposing a statute of limitations on her latte.

And an update on the crazy woman: she found herself a lawyer, apparently. For something. She came in just to tell me. I don't know whether to feel horrified or honored. Probably the former.

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In out of the coffee shop news, the COPE weekends I had been planning with Matt since September fell through due to a complete lack of effort on the part of the Cradle of Liberty Council. We handed them everything they needed to get the word out to troops in November, and spent more than a few late nights planning these weekends, and they didn't contact troops in any capacity.

I found this out from Matt about a week and a half ago, and I was pissed. He talked to the secretary of one of the council employees who dropped the ball, and she called every troop that was planning to be at Ressica (the reservation where the weekends were supposed to take place) and see if there was any interest. There were a few kids who said they'd like to do it, but not enough to make the weekend both fulfilling for them and successful for us.

More than anything I'm angry about the complete lack of effort on the part of the council. Matt and I, and later Tarim and Drew, put in a lot of work for these weekends, and had a complete plan laid out and ready to be implemented. The the blame for the fact that there are no COPE weekends for the council this year rests solely on two members of the council staff. Two members of the staff with whom Matt and I met months ago and handed them everything they'd need.

This is why people say scouts are a dying organization, because there is a lack of communication at every step of the way, and a lack of effort resulting in a lack of program and therefore revenue, leading to more of the same.

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Watching this video the other day, I found myself not disgusted or intrigued, but curious. Not curious about the process or anything having to do with the piercing, but curious as to what sort of carabiner and suspension system was being used. I kept thinking 'stop showing her back, show the suspension system.' Odd.

Obviously it's been busy lately, which accounts for the distinct lack of updates. Apologies to my dad and Seth, the two people who I know this.

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Separated at Birth: Jorge Posada and Fievel

If your kids have wheels in the shoes, you are wrong

2007-04-17T20:09:00.000-04:00

Heelies have to be the worst invention of the past few years, in terms of a useful/annoying ratio breakdown. If you don't know those are the shoes with the wheels in the heels that kids are rocking these days.

If I were 10, I would probably want a pair of these. I'm sure that the kids who are rocking these are the cool kids in school, and seriously what better feeling is there than being the hippest fifth grader on the playground?

However I'm not 10, I'm 22 and therefore find these shoes not only ridiculous looking, but utterly intolerable when I'm in public. As some sort of hybrid between tennis shoe and roller skate, they fly under the radar as far as regulations prohibiting their wear go. One wouldn't wear roller skates in a department store, nor should parents allow their children to do so; why then are they allowed to wear these 'shoes' that serve the exact same purpose only in a less efficient manner?

Perhaps I'm off base, but I think it sends a bad message about what should and should not be done in public places. When kids are gliding through the airport or the mall on these things, it's fairly inconsiderate, what with the zipping in front of people and generally forcing everyone else to watch out for their speedy shoes.

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The annoying lady with the cell phone and the yelling was in again yesterday for the majority of the afternoon. This time something 'needed to be filed by 5' somewhere on South St. and she was rushing to finish whatever 'it' was.

She comes in plops down and doesn't even bother to buy anything. I was about to say something to her because she was using the free wireless, but as I was about to walk over she began to scream; I don't mean scream like yell a little bit, I mean shrieking a-la a Scottish banshee.

"I don't even know where this is! There's no freaking address" she yelled as she tossed papers on the floor.

"This is unbelievable. Shitshitshit."

I made eye contact with the girl sitting behind this woman, and she kind of shrugged and laughed at the same time. Then the woman started banging on her keyboard. Actually banging, not like tapping. I'm not sure if it was a primitive form of typing but it didn't appear too productive. Then moments later she said the following to nobody in particular:

"This is bullshit. How can my delete key not work? This is a brand new machine. This is unbelievable. Shit. Unbelievable."

She continued on something of a cycle in this manner for about two hours, and just as Pat was coming in to pick up the evening shift she was heading out.

"Sorry, I forgot to buy a coffee. I've just been a bit busy" she confessed to me.

I literally had no words with which to properly reply, so I just said nothing and hoped she'd just go away. She probably came back toward me three separate times after saying goodbye to 'mention something else' or 'tell me something about those unbelievable so and so's.'

Next time she comes in I'm going down to the basement and staying there.

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If you've never checked out the fantastic sex ads in the back of the Citypaper, it's probably a good idea to do that. Now. Seriously. They're part of history, it's okay.

My favorite this past week was an ad for T.S. Naomi. It's on the bottom left on pg. 110.

The picture is a pig-tailed girl with her breasts out and nipples starred, holding a teddy bear over her crotch. There is a star saying "I'm back!" and apparently she is available 24/7 in all Northeast locations. The best is the test of the ad, however. In simple lettering, the ad states:

"Jumps like rabbits from hole to hole!!! How deep R U?"

What the hell does that even mean? Baffling and yet, I want to call and find out.

In this blog I will not talk about why Don Imus should not have been fired. I will say that this video does wonders for breaking down stereotypes. I will also not say anything about Kurt Vonnegut. There's just so much there already.

Bitter doesn't even begin to describe...

2007-04-10T20:15:00.000-04:00

How in the hell do I owe the IRS money? $32, to be exact. Freaking highway robbery. I make about nothing and Turbo Tax tells me I owe money? Seriously, I live below the poverty line at the moment, and yet I owe someone money?

Yeah yeah, I did some freelance work this past year, on about $1,600 worth, which was untaxed. Again, even without those wages being taxed, I made less last year than what is considered to be the minimum for survival ($13,690 according to this website). But I also was in school and am paying out the ass for student loans which I can't claim because I was a dependent on another form (my moms.) Lovely.

My favorite question in the whole Turbo Tax process was "would you like to contribute $3 to the presidential campaign fund?"

Fuck no. I'm not giving another cent to anyone. If you haven't already noticed, some dumb broad who moved to NY to play politician already grossed $26 million. Nobody's getting my money.

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On an unrelated note, I heard Bjork's new song "Earth Intruders" on XPN a few days ago. It sounds like something Gwen Stefani would write if she went on a three-day mescaline binge at Bonaroo.

That is to say, it sounds better than anything Gwen Stefani could come up with on her own. Bjork is consistently brilliant in her works, and this song is no different. Her Sci-Fi beats listen like some sort of futuristic marching cadence, and mixes well with her vocal style, which swings from sweet to an abrasive grumble in moments. It sounds similar to the first few tracks on Medulla, only a bit more beat intensive. Very active song.

If you haven't noticed, Willy Taveras of the Rockies is the fastest player in baseball. Try to dispute that. Gary Sheffield is single-handedly killing my fantasy team but I keep playing him over Alex Rios for two reasons: a. I keep forgetting to switch my roster in time and b. because I know Sheff will hit this season, it's just a matter of when. I don't want him on my bench when he decides to have a monster game. However, I don't like seeing 0/whatever next to his name every single day. Josh Beckett on the other hand has been all that I hoped he would be. Can't ask for much more than a 7 inning effort with only two hits, 1 ER, 0 BB and 8 K's.

Gypsy lady you odd bird you

2007-04-07T08:00:00.000-04:00

Gypsy folk freak me out. Not just because of their transient lifestyle, but also because of their odd persona's and innate disability to communicate to those of us who are not of the gypsy class. Even more so, people who seem like they should be gypsy folk but who I can't quite tell also freak me out. That said, Friday night was a dandy in terms of normal/odd customer ratio. Let me preface this by saying it's a holiday weekend and a Friday night, so things were going to be slow. Slow and, of course, interesting.

Now back to Gypsies. About halfway through my evening a woman walks in with a black head wrap and these odd sandals I've never seen before. She was wrapped in a large knit blanket, the kind log cabin homemakers throw over their couches and never think about again. She swayed back and forth slowly and had those large round eyes that either convey absolute mental vacancy or a deep thoughtfulness. Hers surely displayed the former.

After consulting the menu for a minute, she wanted to know if we had internet access. I replied that yes, you could get on the internet for free with a laptop, and that we also have a computer to use for $0.25 a minute. She seemed put off that it's $0.25 a minute, but that's not my price to decide so whatever.

She kind of swayed a bit, stared out the back door, then at the menu, all without saying anything and then asked how late I was open as if she didn't care in the least. She probably didn't, but whatever.

"Ten," I replied. "I'll be here until ten. Can I get you anything?"

She eyed the bananas and then asked if I could give her change to make a phone call. At this point I realized she wasn't going to be spending any money here. I'm not sure she even had a wallet in which to keep money what with that giant shawl of hers. I didn't really want her hanging around anymore since she was starting to creep me out, so I gave her change for a five.

As I was opening the register, she stepped around the counter, moving directly next to me and blocking my exit from behind the counter. This made me feel decidedly awkward, but I figured if she was intent on robbing the joint so long as she didn't pull a gun I could take her. I pulled out the change.

When handing her the change, she stretched out the bills between her fingers like a little hammock and held them out for the quarters, instead of her hand. I didn't get what she was doing at first so I held the change outward in my hand. She looked up at me and back at the dollars, which the then motioned toward me. I figured okay, she's just a little off, so I put the change in the dollar bill hammock.

She asked if I knew where there was 'good lodging' in the area for 'someone like me', and I replied that I did not. What the hell is that supposed to mean, anyway? She looked like a leper, but a bit too healthy and still posesing all her limbs. At this point I really wanted her to leave, as she was making me very uncomfortable. Clearly she wasn't going to buy anything, just ask me questions and sway back and forth.

So she made toward the door, but didn't quite make it. She plopped down in one of the chairs next to the front window and started chatting with a girl in the adjacent chair. The girl told her something about how Catholic churches are always open and you can sleep on the pews; I couldn't really tell when she said.

Anyway the woman leaves the shop, wrapping herself in her gypsy blanket to avoid the cold.

Not a minute later she returned. She timidly stepped to the counter again and asked if I might supply her with more change, this time for a dollar. I looked in the register and there were two rolls of quarters, so I figured why not if it will get her to go away.

So I put out my hand for the dollar and she jumps back. I left my hand there, but she put the dollar on the counter next to me.

So she sets down the dollar, I pick it up. I open the register and take out four quarters, deposit the dollar, and close the register. Then I hold out the change to drop in her hand. She jumps back about two feet. I hold my hand out further. What the fuck is wrong with this woman, I think. She's a bit of a freak, it seems.

She nods at the counter. I give her a quizzical look.

"The counter," she says.

The Counter? Okay...

"I'll just take it off the counter," she says.

Nut job

I sit the change on the counter and she eagerly retrieves it, making sure to count it. Yeah, all four quarter were there. No problem.

Then she asks me where the nearest pay phone is. Please go away I'm thinking. Please oh please go away you're seriously off.

"I don't know. Try Market Street," I say.

But that's where I came from... she trails off. She sways a bit more. She eyes the bananas, then the menu for a third time. Still vacant, she leaves the shop.

Let me tell you something. There is never a lack of interesting customers, even when there are barely any customers. Something always seems to make my evening when I'm working at the coffee shop. I guess that's what happens when you work in the middle of a major city right off of a large arterial street.

O and 3 ain't that good

2007-04-06T18:30:00.000-04:00

I'd say it's a good night for the Orioles first win of the season. 7 years later and I'm still pissed about Mussina leaving the O's (the picture is from '05).

Still can't do 'latte art.' Don't care

2007-04-03T20:15:00.000-04:00

This may come as a shock to some of you who have known me for a while, but hear me out. I have to come clean about something. I ... don't drink as much coffee as I used to. Not even close.

I remember the days of college, downing whole pots of coffee in the course of a day simply to be lucid enough to play MVP until the sun came up. Ostensibly the coffee was so I could stay up and do homework, but you know how college can be. Then I graduated.

Of course after graduation I went straight to camp, where two things coincided that increased my caffeine intake. I had round the clock access to fresh coffee and I had a job with a lot of stress. Not a good thing. I would drink coffee with every meal and could barely maintain a conversation in the morning until at least after my second cup.

Then in the fall I started working at Penn, where I rather disliked my job. There was a Bucks County Coffee across the street and so I would go in there several times a day and get my travel mug refilled for something like $0.90. At every break in the day, that's pretty much where I could be found. Since I couldn't make coffee in the office, I had to take advantages of the breaks in the day, not knowing when the next opportunity might present itself.

Logically I would increase my caffeine intake even more working at a coffee shop, right? Makes sense. It's not the case though, and I think I figured out why.

Since I have access to coffee all the time now, I am much more apt to just say 'eh, I could get coffee now. That would be nice. But I could get it in 20 minutes, too.' Then I find something else to do (like write in here) and I forget all about it. I still drink a good bit of caffeine, but not nearly as much as I used to. If I open, which I do twice a week, I usually have a double latte sometime around 1 pm, opting for a Vitamin Water instead of coffee in the morning.

When I close, I usually have a double latte around 7:30 or 8 pm. And that's it. I don't do shots of espresso on the hour or anything ridiculous like I imagined I would.

This cutting back on caffeine has done me well, I think. I seem to sleep more soundly at night, and I don't get headaches if I don't get my morning coffee. Well, not every day anyway.

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Philadelphia Will Do getting shut down because of the buyout? Man, that would be a sad day. I love that blog. Go send your well wishes to D-Mac. Now.

Not that this is by any means 'new news,' but Bill O'Reilly is a fucking douchebag. Pass it on. How can anyone take this man seriously when he can't engage in an argument without
getting flustered? I love in the end when she's like "I served 29 years in the armed forces Bill, how many did you serve?"

I wish my blog were more like Dead Air Space. Also I wish I made the money that Thom Yorke makes. Oh and the rest of Radiohead. Maybe then I could write in broken vagueries and have people trip over each other trying to touch the hem of my pants.

More on things later.

It's a fantasy world, really

2007-04-02T23:26:00.000-04:00

With the MLB play in game for the full season stretch and all the games on Monday, it's just about time to settle in for the other 161 games still to come. Of course, this also means that fantasy baseball is once again in full swing. My league's draft was last Monday night, and in a shallow league such as mine there are still plenty of top tier players left on the free agent board. That said, I think I drafted pretty well, albeit perhaps a bit too deeply.

I may re-think some of these picks once the season really heats up (toward the end of April), but so as it stands now, my team is in pretty good shape I think. I hope? Here's my lineup and some of the reasons I picked each player. They are listed in the order that they were drafted, too. Feel free to criticize.

1. David Ortiz (Bos) - UTIL
One of the best hitters in the game, and the dude ahead of me had already taken Pujols. I had the 4th pick, and ahead of Ortiz went Beltran, Pujols and Soriano. He doesn't get injured (often) and last season he scored 115 runs and drove in 137. Should finish with an OPS over 1.00 and a ton of RBI's and runs. Not bad. Last year I took Manny first overall and was sorely disappointed when he checked out for the season just as I was making a push for first in my league.

2. Joe Mauer (Min) - C
The dude won the batting title in the AL last year. That's no small feat. He's a young guy in great shape who hits for power at his position and gets on base a lot too. Top catcher in fantasy and a steal in the second round. Plus he's hitting alongside Morneau, who I wish I had gotten. I think he'll have a little recession in his BA, and he's definitely not going to earn batting champion status again but I'd be fairly surprised if he hits under .315.

3. Matt Holliday (Col) - LF
Dude can rake, and in Colorado he's ridiculous. 119 R and 114 RBI last season and a .326 average, and he's only getting better. He's got former slugger turned extra base hit machine Todd Helton to learn from, and that thin air up there should do him very, very well. Young guy with huge potential as long as he can have smart at bats. He's faceless in MVP, so it's odd to see him in real life.

4. Jimmy Rollins (Phi) - SS
Maybe fourth was a bit too high to have drafted Rollins, but I think he's primed to have a great year. With all the talk he's been doing about the Phils going to the series this year, I figure it's time to either put up or shut up. 36 SB's and 126 R last season ain't bad either. Hitting at the top of their lineup I bet his numbers go up a fair amount. Not a power hitter but he swings a good bat and won't have too many errors.

5. Rich Harden (Oak) - P
I panicked because I saw other people taking pitchers starting in the 5th (except Santana who went in the first). I had him at the top of my queue and time ran out on the clock before I could move him down and switch him out with someone else. Could be worse though, he could be injury prone... Here's hoping he has a stellar season like so many think he will. Based on facial hair alone Dan Haren wins hands down, but Harden is still a good pick if he stays healthy.

6. Mark Teahen (KC) - 3B
A bit of a stretch here considering he's on the Royals, but here's hoping. He had a .974 OPS during the second half of last season, so maybe he can come close to that at some point this year. Definitely should not have drafted him so high, but he was one of those picks that has a lot of if/then aspects to it. He's moving to the outfield but is still 3B eligible, meaning he won't have many errors (hopefully), which count in my league.

7. Matt Cain (SF) - P
He did me well for most of last season, so I picked him again out of loyalty. And, umm, he did well last season. Looking for a small WHIP and lots of K's from him. He was downright dominant on occasion last year, and with some more work hopefully he can keep that up. If his ERA stays under 3.70 and he strikes out 180+ I'll be happy. He's a young guy, too, only five days older than I am.

8. Chris Ray (Bal) - RP
Not sure why I drafted Ray while Papelbon was still on the board, but working with Leo Mazzone for another full season should do him well. Not that he did poorly last year, but he should be even better. Minuscule WHIP and an ERA under 2.20 would be awesome. I'm hoping for 40 SV's as well, but that may be a stretch considering the Orioles offense. Also, Chris Ray looks incredibly vacant in his picture. He probably is in real life, too.

9. Chris Burke (Hou) - 2B
This is one of those picks that as I was making it I thought "man, I can't believe I'm going to pick this guy." He's fast, and should hit in front of Lance Berkman and Carlos Lee, so if he can get on base he should score me some runs. His SB's aren't as high as I would like considering his speed, but it's okay. I bet he hits over .300 this season too, since he'll have a full year on the big club barring any injuries. Plus I hit really well with him in MVP, which of course means nothing but whatever.

10. Todd Helton (Col) - 1B
Not sure how he fell this far, but I picked him up since all signs point to a great year. He's "in better shape than he's ever been" (aren't they all?) and will hit alongside Holliday. I'm hoping the Sox pull off a trade for him at the deadline and he finished the season with, oh, 400 doubles off of the monster. If not it's okay, he should still do okay. He won't hit as many HR's anymore, but he's still a good hitter and will get on base often enough to make it worth a pick.

11. Torii Hunter (Min) - CF
Contract year for a player who was one of the best on my team last season. He had a career type year last season, but considering his contract situation, I think he'll step up in a big way again. I'm not saying he's going to have a '06 Soriano-like year by any means, but definitely at least on par with last year if not better. The only foreseeable problem is that since he plays all out all the time, he's an injury risk. Let's hope for the best though eh?

12. Josh Beckett (Bos) - P
A full season in Boston has done him well, I suspect. He'll get a bunch of K's and hopefully 15+ wins. If he can keep his WHIP and ERA reasonable down I'll be pleased. So long as he can settle down a bit and keep from giving up so many HR's, he has the talent to be a dominant #2 behind Schilling. I may have done better drafting Matsuzaka here but I think Beckett will do me a solid in '07, and Matsuzaka is as yet untested in MLB so I'm still a bit skeptical.

13. Gary Sheffield (Det) - RF
He's the de-facto DH this season now that Sean Casey is healthy, and he's playing pissed because of the Yankees situation. He won't have to field, just hit, and he does that well anyway. Hitting in their lineup should do him well, although Comerica Park isn't exactly a hitter's paradise. He'll net me a good OPS and probably 100+ RBI's. Plus he's not on the Yankees anymore, so I can draft him without feeling guilty.

14. Dave Bush (Mil) - P
Another one of those players that I took because he was on my team last year and did well. He improved mightily from '05 to '06, and got better throughout the season. I'm hoping for a big year from him. He's one of those control pitchers that just bangs the strike zone relentlessly, go he gets a lot of K's and his WHIP should be really low. I'm betting he gets over 15 wins and upstages Ben Sheets.

15. Erik Bedard (Bal) - P
Everything I've read in the past few months points to this guy having a monster year. Big on the K's and wins I would think, but his ERA is something I'm going to have to watch closely because when he gets hit he gets hit hard, especially with that fastball. Last year was an adjustment period for Leo Mazzone in the O's coaching cabinet, so '07 can't go anywhere but up for Orioles pitchers. At least I'm banking on it.

16. Kevin Youkilis (Bos) - 1B
Every time I needed a big week on my team last season, Youk came through in a big way. I like his steady hitting, and if Coco Crisp craps out he could hit at the top of the lineup. He did that very effectively last season, so here's hoping. In either case he's a solid pickup should Helton get injured or slump in a big way. Plus if Helton gets traded, someone's going to have to platoon at first on occasion. That of course would be Youkilis. I'm also hoping he plays some #B this season and regains that eligibility in my league.

17. Alex Rios (Tor) - LF
Again, another player that has consistently improved and will continue to do so as long as he gets regular playing time. He had some foot troubles last season, but on both sides of that he had a great OPS and stole a few bases as well. Plus he's hitting in a pretty decent lineup, so I'm expecting around 70-80 in both runs and RBI's.

18. Morgan Ensberg (Hou) - 3B
If Teahen goes bust, Ensberg is a decent backup. I'd expect a decent OPS from him, and 80 or so RBI's to make him worth keeping around. If not, his ass is gone. He seems like one of those hot or cold guys, so the trick will be trying to recognize when he's about to go on a tear and when he's going to be working the sunflower seeds in the dugout for a while. Not sure where he's hitting in their lineup, but I'm not sure it matters.

19. Dan Wheeler (Hou) - RP
He's the current setup man for the Astros, and he's quite good at it. I drafted him though because he's the understood closer if Lidge can't get it together this year. He'll get me some holds, and contribute a decent ERA and better than decent WHIP to the effort. It's a win-win situation because I don't have too much in the way of pitching at the moment. Only three relievers and not much else. Wheeler's versatility should serve me well in whatever role he ends up taking.

20. Chris Duffy (Pit) - CF
Drafted solely because his steal potential. ESPN the Magazine rated him with a huge upside so I figured it would be okay to use a late round pick and drop if necessary. He is hitting at the top of the Pirates lineup, so I'm hoping he scores runs in droves to accompany those steals. Plus with the way Torii Hunter plays the field there's a chance he could go down with injury so it's good to have someone waiting in the wings.

21. Mike Piazza (Oak) - C
A full season of not squatting down should do Piazza well. He's still a good hitter and should do well once he gets his AL batting legs. I'm going to sit him on the bench for a little bit and see how he does to start the season. If Frank Thomas's semi-huge resurgence last season is any indication Piazza could be a steal in the 21st round. Thomas was used to hitting in the AL, however, so we'll see. Also Belle and Sebastian wrote a song about Piazza. Sad bastard music for sure.

22. Cla Meredith (SD) - RP
He pitched really well last season, and along with Wheeler will get me the holds I'm looking for. He's not going to get any saves to speak of but that's fine.A good K/9 and low WHIP will make me pretty happy from him. If his ERA is a bit above 2.5 I'll be okay with it. It will be his second season in the majors though, so there is definitely the chance he could experience a sophomore slump. Something to watch out for.

23. David Dellucci (Cle) - LF/RF
Another player who I drafted for a single reason, which is that his OPS upside is a bit above 1.0. Definite bench player because he doesn't play regularly, but still a good guy to pocket away and keep an eye on. He could start seeing some regular time this season and if he does he could be pretty decent.

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Holy crap, the new Gameday from MLB.com is freaking amazing. It's improved about 500% from previous years. It's closer to real time now, and you can change the views, looking in from the mound or out from the betters box. There is also a pitch by pitch breakdown and pitch history, both for the batter and the pitcher.

I'm definitely planning on watching games this year with this window pulled up. There's so much detail, and the best part is it's free. ESPN insider service definitely doesn't have this much in-depth info, but then again, ESPN doesn't have the access to all the ballpark resources that MLB does. You know, because it's their league and all.

Manny is making a valiant effort to appear as homeless as possible.

Also I'm not sure if you noticed but I have cornered the market on huge goatees in my league. Youkilis and Helton only took off their flannel shirts for the individual pictures. The ratio of facial hair to non facial hair on my team is pretty decent too. 12-11. That's a .522 average for those of you keeping track.

Basically what I'm saying is that if my team's facial hair were a batter, it would have the best average ever. I'm okay with that.

Enjoy the season y'all.

Facebook stalking for fun and profit

2007-04-02T13:30:00.000-04:00

I know that some people read this blog because it shows up on their Facebook news feed, so I like to check and make sure that's working from time to time. I prefer going to actual pages to read blogs, because it dramatically improves the content. Cough. Or not.

After checking the integrity of the feed from this here blog, I started browsing profiles on said Facebook. This led me to the profiles of some people with whom I attended high school but were younger than I. I'm fairly sure most people have arrived at this epiphany at one point or another, but here it is anyway: Despite knowing that everyone is aging at the same rate, there are those people who will always remain 'young' to me, and likewise there are those that will always be 'old.' I mean, some of the people I'm talking about, without naming names, are by no means high school freshman anymore.

Although I know this not to be true, that's still how I see them. These people are old enough to go drinking with and yet I still can't fathom them driving a car legally. Or being in college. Or, you know, responsible in any way.

It's like when you look back at elementary school yearbooks and see that one kid that was like, a full year older than everyone else. Despite the fact that he's still 12 years old in the picture, when this happens to me I always see a 12 year old that is older than I am. It's an odd mental quirk that I feel most people have experienced in some way or another.

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- Here's Rachel Ray doing what she does best. Mmmmm.

Oh also on Salon.com, if you want to see something funny, check out the Blog Report on Politics. It's great seeing right and left wing blog excerpts on the same page.

- Only nine more episodes of 24. Now we're into the single digits. Alas. Who's the mole? Is there a mole?

- That hot foreign broad with whom Tom Brady shacks up is taking pole dancing lessons. No words. None.

- Speaking of shacking up, The Pirate Bay just climbed in bed with Jim Jong-Il. This after they tried to buy Sealand and set up their own sovereign nation. This is just one of those things that makes me shake my head an smile in a 'these people are plain nuts' sort of way. April Fools, right PB guys? Right?

- Jamiroquai's 'Virtual Insanity' is on the radio as I type this (on XPN, of course). How appropriate. And to think when this song came out there was no such thing as 'Web 2.0,' MySpace, Facebook, Digg, or any of that nonsense. Remember downloading the Sonique mp3 program and listening to Korn songs that took a day and a half to download? Yeah, me too...

- The new track by Tom Morello's band The Nightwatchman, 'The Road I Must Travel,' is so different from anything he's done before (ie Rage Against the Machine) but damn good none the less.

- Annnndd coffee.

I wore a sweatshirt under a jacket to work this morning and could see my breath. It's supposed to be 75 later today. What the hell?

These damn kids

2007-03-31T16:48:00.000-04:00

When I was younger, in my early teens, I was really into skateboarding, roller blading, biking and all those 'extreme' sports. Of course, I was also into the style of clothes and everything else that went along with riding a wooden plank or strapping wheels to your feet.

I remember the style well: huge, baggy pants, wide shoes (untied of course), and huge t-shirts. If you were wearing a hat it was a nice worn in baseball style cap. Long hair was pretty much the norm, but not like put it in a ponytail long. Most of my friends either had hair down to their eyes or a little longer, or short cropped hair, nothing really in between. The CCS catalog was pretty much a consumer's bible when it came to skateboarding. I remember getting my first 'skate shirt' when I was in 5th grade, the Etnies devil shirt.

This memory all comes about because I keep seeing skater kids around town, and they look nothing like I remember. The huge shoes are still there, but the pants are incredibly tight. This used to be a style rocked uniquely by Ed Tempelton and occasionally Mike Valley, but apparently it's the new thing to do. I checked out the CCS website to see if it was just a Philly thing, but tight jeans and tiny t-shirts are all they carry in their catalog now. It seems as if the 'kids' are wearing tighter everything nowadays. Makes sense I guess, it's just odd when I see a kid riding his skateboard and I can't seem to shake the established image of what I think he should look like. Does that makes sense?

Since I can't shake that image the whole thing looks completely ridiculous to me. Of course this brings me to the realization of just how ridiculous I must have looked in jeans that were about three sizes too big for me and a t-shirt made for someone standing 5'8". My parents must have had incredible patience while waiting for that stage to pass. It took all through middle school and up to about sophomore year in high school.

I'd like to think I look a tad less foolish than I used to, but I'm sure that to many people that is not the case. I don't suppose the mustache helps, but whatever.

And a few notes on the coffee shop for good measure:

- Earl Grey tea smells like cat shit, and tastes worse I would imagine. Peppermint tea on the other hand is downright splendid.

- No, homeless guy, I don't want you to wash the windows of the shop. I don't care if you 'do it all the time,' I'm not opening the register and giving you money. You don't even have a ladder, and the windows are floor to ceiling. What, are you going to jump?

- Note to the lady on the cell phone: Shut it. And stop rubbing my back as you pace around the shop, it's creepy. Also no, you can't have 'some more hot water' in your cup, because you are drinking tea and that's a refill.

- To the people that comment on the tip jar and the funny note/drawing on it (Tip people, not cows) and then don't leave a tip: Fuck you.

- To caffeine: thanks!

Lily Allen's 'Knock 'em Out' stopped me in my tracks and demanded my full attention. I'd heard of her before but it definitely wasn't what I was expecting from someone with such a nice name. I checked out her website and found that she sings another song I like. It's called 'Everything's Just Wonderful' on her site if you're keeping track.

....And as always, gratuitous makeout pictures on Facebook or MySpace make me want to hit people. Stop it. Just stop.

Carnival of Bauer, Prez. DeWayne edition

2007-03-29T14:22:00.000-04:00

"Look, Daniels, I know we've been playing phone tag for a minute now, but this is ridiculous..."

This week's 24 was kind of nuts, and maybe not in a good way. While not entirely believable, there was a bit of killing, a bit of romance and of course there was the first time I actually rooted for Wayne Palmer when he did anything. Anyway let's get going on this blog carnival. There's 15 episodes down, meaning only 9 more to go. Decent!

Kyle Brandt spent some time interviewing the latest statistic on the Jack Bauer Kill counter (Yeah, he's still alive, only for real in the real world). There's some really good stuff here on the inner workings of 24. Definitely this week's must-read.

Amy of Remote Access gives us one of the more thoughtful blogs of the week. Among other things, she wonders if this is the season with no mole and what what really is up with Doyle and Johnson. Sounds like a sitcom, no? Anyhow, it's definitely worth reading.

Morning Maniac Dave drops a short run down on what he learned during the 15th hour of 24. Short, sweet, and hilarious if you are in the know (if you're reading this then you're in the know, go see it.)

Steve at Magic Lamp gives us his usual rundown of he show. By usual I mean pretty damn funny. It takes almost as long to read as the show takes to watch. It's worth it though. Done and done.

Carnival sponsor and all around nice guy Blogs 4 Bauer heard (from a little bird, of course) some good news about Cougar Bait. Drop by to find out (and in general.)
If you haven't seen the 24 in 24 site, you're missing out. There's a weekly blog, but the comics are the best. I wait for them to come out every week, and I always wish they were longer.

Emperor Misha I of Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler puts forth a lengthy but compelling argument for why Joel Surnow has 'jumped the shark' based on this weeks' episode. I'm not going to stop watching by any means, but it's always good to have a different view on things.

Rachel of Tinkerty Tonk noticed that the internet is the cause of the CTU info leaks. Insightful post including Chloe's MySpace. Stalkers go!

Jeff of Truth v. The Machine revs up the machine for a not so serious look at the 15th hour. "Watching Jack patronize Rain Man and then shove him out into harm’s way may be the most barfingly bizarre thing this show has done." HA!

Over at Cake or Death, jwookie notes that Jack likes helping the de-de-dee's, and there's a good (read:hot) picture of Nadia. And it's funny. Done and done. Go now, the force of Cake compels you.

King Tom enlightens his citizens with a recap of this week's episode and whining about the lack of Jack (hey, that rhymed!) Also kudos for using the phrase "someone with, shall we say, 'unique mathematical skills'." Well done.

Dean, being the Thoughtful Conservative that he is, urges people to get a grip, wondering what the deal is with the machismo Milo and the suddenly sentimental Jack.

Yankz of Sour Apple Jello, while not really focusing on this season of 24, has a great top 10 list of 24's Most Shocking Moments. Go and join the debate. Come on, Edgar dying wasn't in the top 10? Seriously go debate now.

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In order to better feed your addiction, remember to check out Blogs4Bauer.

Some suspect business going down

2007-03-28T01:50:00.000-04:00

In season 5 of 24, Chloe is ousted from the CTU office and aids Jack from a laptop in some rando bar (suspiciously near Bill Buchanan's house.) Friday night this dude was in the shop near the end of the night doing something similar; of course I had to listen in to what I could hear of his conversation and stole a few glances at his laptop.

I don't think I'll be compromising national security protocol or anything by relating this because I don't think rogue CTU operatives wear giant TO Dallas Cowboys jersey's and Tims' while on the job, so read on. This guy clearly worked for some private company, maybe even a company he owns, that does surveillance on folks.

Here's the scene. The guy walks in, big dude, wearing a TO Cowboys jersey. He's on his bluetooth headset when he walks to the counter. He excuses himself from his conversation and asks me if we have wireless here. I inform him that yes we do, and he orders a Mocha and coffee cake and sits down.

I make the mocha and heat up the coffee cake and bring it to his table. He's back on his headset, staring at a screen which displays 4 video feeds. The feeds were of a streetcorner shot from various angles. I'm curious.

"I'm handling the situation" he says into the headset. "Don't screw this up we've only got one shot to get this guy."

Sweet, I thought. I 'did some dishes' for a moment, the sink being in sight line of his laptop screen. The guy moved the cameras around, zooming in on people's faces as they walked in and out of whatever corner location he and his silent partner on the phone were observing.

"You've got to get out of there," the guy said. "They're on to you...I don't know, tell them something. Just get out of there where you can talk."

Then moments later:

"Is this line compromised? Okay, I'm changing your password and login, I think they've got you bugged.... Yeah, make sure when the guy comes out you're on it, we're only got one shot... Hold there for a second, cross the street when I tell you... Okay, you've only got a few minutes, in and out man."

This guy and his partner were in on some crazy bust or something. Who knows what they were really up to. From the end of the conversation I could hear, I think they work for some private investigation company and they were setting up some sort of sting operation. Whatever the case, it was funny to see something like that happening right before my eyes (and ears). Also the guy tipped me a few bucks, so I'm on his side for whatever.

I really wanted to ask him what he was up to, but I was afraid of getting tazered. See the pictures below for a visual depiction of what happened to the fellow who tried interrupting Chloe while she was working:

Oh hey, sup?

Laptop huh? I got one of those for free from my office...

Tazzzzzzzzzeeee

Hey Jack, sorry about that. What's up?

On a similar note, it confuses me when I see people with laptops in bars. There's a few that have free wireless in the area (Doobies, McGlinchey's, etc.) Isn't the point of going to a bar to drink, not to make revisions to your Excel spreadsheet and the like? I guess I just have a different idea of what going to the bar means.

It's on the menu, dick. Figure it out.

2007-03-23T21:00:00.000-04:00

Gwen fell asleep the other night with the remote in her hand. She had adjusted the volume and didn't have the energy to put the clicker back on the table. She later explained that it was probably her ingrained fear that once she fell asleep I would take the remote from her and put on sports. This if course is entirely true, as I discovered her in this position when I was coming over to do just that.

This tiny woman with Lisa Loeb glasses comes in today and mulls over the menu for a few minutes, weighing her options and 'humphh'-ing mightily to herself throughout. Speaking of Lisa Loeb she's really hot. Like really hot. Anyhow this woman in the shop who was decidedly not as attractive as Lisa Loeb finally turns around and approaches me. She orders a hot chocolate with skim milk and 'not too much chocolate.' Fair enough.

I go to the basement and get the skim milk because there was none in the fridge. I make up her drink, which was 'for here,' making it a large by default. Not my rules, but them's the breaks. So I make up her drink all nice and shit. I even made a little chocolate pattern in the foam on the top in the shape of the Eiffel tower. Kidding, it was actually a little grid pattern with rounded corners and shit.

Anyway I put the thing on the counter, and ring her up. Large hot chocolate, $3.60. With tax it's like $3.89. Yeah, it's expensive, but whatever, that's not the point.

She looks up in surprise and says "That's the most expensive hot chocolate I've ever heard of."

"Sorry, I don't set the prices, I just make the drinks" I reply.

"I'm not going to pay that much for a hot chocolate, you'll have to charge me less" she says.

"Would you like me to get you something else that's less expensive," I reply. "The prices are next to the drinks on the menu..."

She'd spent almost five minutes looking at the damn menu then acted all surprised and indignant when I rang the drink up for ::gasp:: the listed price. Fucking idiot.

She got a coffee and sat sullenly at one of the tables in the front. I gave her the change and sat in the back, satisfied with m piping hot, free hot chocolate.

Insider's tip: Here are the 'good deals' at my shop. A bagel with cream cheese, butter or jelly is like $1.63. A Chicken Salad Sandwich is like $4.05 (it's damn good chicken salad). If you're getting a drink ask for a small in a to go cup even if you're staying in the shop. And don't get the hot chocolate.

I shaved my beard. Now it's in the form of a Trot Nixon for the foreseeable future. I rule.

Speaks for itself. If you don't get it, there's a hot chocolate I'd like to sell you.My dad sent me this. I need this shirt. And I need to hang out with this guy.

Thanks to a variety of stimulants I am still conscious and functional

2007-03-21T10:19:00.000-04:00

At around 7 am the manic jitters set in. The back of your legs start to sweat. Your eyes burn for a few moments. Motivation for anything is gone. Your fingers grow heavy and typing feels like you're banging sausage links against the keyboard.

Then, it all goes away. If you're staying up all night, this is the worst part. The afterward is one of my favorite feelings in the world though; that moment when the jitters go away and you feel almost normal again. When that first breath of fresh air fills you up when you step outside and the whole day is ahead of you, a whole day is behind you, and you're still experiencing it all without having slept.

Of course not sleeping isn't really the best or most healthy thing to do to one's body. It is, however, the best way to get work finished on a deadline. Especially if that work is finishing a layout in a program that you last saw before you were of legal age (Pagemaker 6.5), wrestling the beast to print to a PDF, and then proofing the whole 56 page fiasco.

However thanks to Vitamin water, Monster Energy Drinks, and a certain amount of personal tenacity, I made this situation a reality. Burned the damn thing to a CD this morning at 7:15 am and it's getting shipped off just as soon as I get off work.

In a related meandering, this morning was the first time I actually had something to do immediately after finishing what I had been working on all night. In college when I would pull all nighters, the absolute worst part would be the three hours or so I had to kill between finishing work and going to the class to hand in said work.

This morning I was actually worried that I might not get the whole thing finished before I had to open the Cafe at 8. It was great motivation not to screw around on last.fm or somesuch website. I got to work on time, opened faster than I ever have due to the fact that I wasn't 'still waking up' when I got here, made myself a bagel and tea and am now deeply concerned with the Philadelphia Weekly crossword.

Speaking of the Weekly, what the HELL is up with their cover story this week? Street games? Seriously? I suppose covering any sort of actual news is really left to Philadelphia Will Do, then.

I know people are sick of hearing about the impending Mayoral
elections, sick of hearing about the rising death toll this year, sick of hearing about lots of things. But seriously, a cover 'story' about Street Games? Basically the Weekly sucks. This is the latest in a long line of weak Weekly covers, which I have commented on before in this blog.

'Effing sinuses

2007-03-19T13:15:00.000-04:00

"Are you sick?"

"No," I lie. "I'm fine."

Well, it wasn't entirely a lie. Four minutes before my mom called, I felt fine. Of course I got a bit congested for some unknown reason moments before her call, and by an hour later it felt as if someone had forced a rugby ball into my sinuses and inflated it.

I have never felt congestion like this before in my life. It's the kind that when you swallow, your ears pop and your tongue clicks a bit. The kind where you can't talk and breathe at the same time. The kind where you can't blow your nose because your sinuses are too impacted and yet your nose continually runs.

And of course wiping your nose every 15 seconds with prison issue toilet paper does wonders for the sensitive skin under said nose.

I have never had congestion come on so suddenly and with such veracity. I'm spending tonight with a carton of orange juice, the strongest decongestant I can find (suggestions?) and a box of those tissues with aloe and papaya or something.

Still, I don't feel sick. I am not congested in my chest. I don't feel feverish, weak, tired or otherwise ill. I hate congestion, it's the only part of winter that I would do away with if given the chance.

Co-Stan-Za, and other Seinfeld moments applied to everyday life.

2007-03-16T21:00:00.000-04:00

Remember the Seinfeld where the pigeons wouldn't move for George and he ended up running them over? Same thing happened to me yesterday, only I was on my bike.

I was riding through the city on the way home from work, around 3:30 in the afternoon. As I do, I was riding in the street, and moving at a rather swift pace. I was quickly approaching a group of three pigeons, so I steered left. They moved into my way. I steered right, they moved back.

Dammit, these birds were persistent. I whistled to startle them. Nothing. I yelled. Nothing. This was in the span of about 3 seconds, mind you. So I am getting pretty close, and they're not moving. I slow down, and steer left. They move into my way.

To hell with these birds, I thought, and pumped the pedals. They'll move.

Of course they moved in the end, because as unintelligent as they are, pigeons know they're not going to win against a bike. A biker, however, is a different story. When they finally dispersed mere moments before I crossed their plot of asphalt, one of the rats with wings decided that it would fault me with making them move, and dive bombed me. Not in the shit on your hat and call it a day sense, but in the fly directly at my chest with claws out sense. Jousting being the state sport of Maryland, I should have seen this coming.

I tried swerving, nearly hitting a parked car, but the little bastard nailed me right in the chest, bouncing off like a riot gun beanbag. As I rode away, the pigeon had the gall to fly alongside me for a few moments before heading off to some wire, no doubt to high five his little pigeon buddies and collect on a bet.

George Costanza, I feel your pain.

In unrelated notes, at this writing, I have only erred on three of my first round picks on the NCAA bracket. Duke, Georgia Tech and Notre Dame, I'm looking at you. If Arkansas and Texas pull it out, an entire side of my bracket will be correct. This good fortune can't last. Because I had the thought "at least none of my Sweet 16's are out,' that means that at least 8 of them are going to tank tomorrow or Sunday.

I'm really pissed about the crap that Gwen had to go through at the airport all day today. First her flight gets delayed a few times, a total of three and a half hours, and it was ultimately canceled. She said there were only three announcements the whole time with updates on the situation, and I actually found out by looking up the flight status online that her flight was canceled before she knew.

So it's canceled, come home, right? Well there's the little matter of the bags. Apparently the bags couldn't be retrieved in any sort of timely manner, or possibly at all. Not that the runway attendants had anything else to do, what with all the flights being canceled and all. Well she waits in a few long lines and ultimately finds out that her bags may make their way to Boston first before coming back to Philadelphia. This is ridiculous since the plane never left the ground. Can't they unload them to the revolving belts and be done with it?

Anyhow she's been at the airport since like 11 this morning, and currently is still there, without her bag, and without any clue when she might be able to retrieve it.

And to think that it was 75 degrees but two days ago. Global warming? Still a myth.

Henry Waxman is the ugliest man on the hill. I watched him on C-Span this afternoon for a solid hour. I'm not even kidding. I missed the Plame testimony though, which was apparently very exciting.

Waxman could jump out from behind the desk and fly away with those ears, but might meet some wind resistance from that mustache of his. He looks like David Cross, if David Cross had no sense of personal grooming or style.

Seriously though he looks like a gargoyle.

Warm weather does not mean you should remove your underwear

2007-03-15T21:00:00.000-04:00

She wanted it, and bad too. Without so much as checking to see who might be looking, the blonde at the next table took her panties off and slammed the rest of her drink.

"I hope he's ready for a good night," she stated bluntly.

From her conversation, I gathered that 'he' was the waiter, to whom she had slipped her number in the bill, and with whom she was anticipating big things to come for the rest of the evening.

Swiveling in her chair, she scoped the restaurant for a glimpse of the object of her affection. Gwen and I wanted a bite, and Drew's girlfriend Michelle works at Snack Bar, a tapas style restaurant, so we had stopped in. I didn't think dinner would come with a free peep show, but the spectacle played out.

It started when we sat down. The tables are close, so it became very clear very quickly that this particular blonde was a good way into her evening based on the volume of her voice and her assertion that she "wasn't drunk."

"I'm the most in control person you will ever meet" she told her more sober companion, who had just suggested she get some water or coffee. Sure you are hun. How about that water? No? Want to eye-fuck the waiter a bit more? Okay...

She undressed the waiter with her eyes, going so far as to lick her lips, as he went about his business. Then, with a sly glance at her friend, she reached down. Hiking up her skirt, she grasped her panties, yanking them down her legs and over her shoes.

She balled them up and held them aloft over the table. They were a muted gold and matched her skirt. Her friend covered her mouth in surprise, and the blonde stuffed her underthings into her purse. They they high fived, with the same hand she used for her recent undressing.

Not sure what the waiter's position on all of this was, but he certainly could not have had any idea of exactly how graphic her intentions were. Minutes after removing her panties, she undid the first four buttons of her top, plumping her assets together with her palms. This blonde wasn't messing around. Since her outfit was a one-piece skirt and top, and she had already undone the bottom two or so buttons, there were only about three buttons between her being clothed and being nearly stark naked. I felt it was my duty to inform him as a fellow male that this broad was ripe for the picking, and that it may be in his best interest to go ahead and give her a call, but I didn't.

Deciding that it was time for her to leave, she told her friend that she needed help finding her car, to which her friend replied that she should get some coffee or something first. She had been trying to get the drunk blonde to drink something other than wine and mixed drinks since we arrived, but with no success.

"I'll be right back," the blonde announced. She gathered her jacket and purse and left Snack Bar. She was clearly not coming back. Her friend watched her turn out of the door, and sat back down. The couple at the next table objected to her leaving.

"She needs to drink some water first," they insisted. "She's in no condition to drive like that."

"It's okay," replied the friend. "She's headed the wrong way anyway."

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Based on my uninspired performance in last years March Madness bracket, I filled out five brackets this year, all on espn.com. One is based on this website. Check that shit out. These dudes don't mess around. I still wouldn't bet more than $5 on any bracket, but if I had to, I'd take these guys word for it.

Yesterday was opening day for a different season:

In the Navy (blue)

2007-03-13T20:52:00.000-04:00

As I was getting to work today, an odd question came to me: When exactly did I become 'okay' with the color Navy blue?

For reference, I have never liked the color blue. I was okay with the other two primaries, but blue always just rubbed me the wrong way. I used to balk at blue clothing and shunned all foods with a blueish hue (note: skylight snowballs excluded, being the only snowballs I will eat.)

I pondered this seeming conversion for a while this afternoon, and decided that my dislike for blue stems from when I was 10 years old. I think it came about when I went from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts. You see the Cub uniform is blue, as are many of the awards. The annual dinner for most scout packs is called the Blue and Gold dinner. The Boy Scout uniform is a light tan. I always enjoyed Cub Scouts, but when I finally got to the troop where I spent about 7 years, I realized I was having a lot more fun. I think I associated blue with less fun. Or something...

Anyhow I realized today on the way to work that I was wearing a blue t-shirt, blue sweatshirt, and blue jacket. I was also sweating because I had grossly misjudged the temperature, but that's not the point. Oh, and blue jeans. Two years ago I don't think I even owned three items of blue clothing and yet here I was. All three items were articles of clothing accrued during the time on the Sandy Beach staff, so it's not like I really had a choice in the color scheme.

I think I am over my blue phobia now, although I still don't wear much of it (owning to the fact that I have spent years avoiding it altogether.) I'm still partial to black, brown, green and gray, but I no longer avoid blue. Maroon, however, I still can't stand, save for one button down of which I am quite fond.

I haven't felt like writing in a while, and consequently I haven't done so. I haven't felt like doing much of anything lately, come to think of it. Working at the cafe, I spend a lot of time reading and sitting around, which is nice, but doesn't do much in the way of motivating me to greatness. That and I find that I'd really rather sit and read most of the day after quitting a job where I was on the computer 100% of the time.

Speaking of the cafe, I was hit with a huge pang of guilt today when I charged someone a rather large sum for a bottle of Fiji water. Seriously, that nonsense is a racket, but if someone thinks it's better or somehow more 'purified' than other bottled waters, so be it. It just makes me wish I had gotten in on the ground floor of that gravy train of an industry.

I also realized earlier today that there are five Tuesdays in March, meaning five paydays (there are five Fridays too, for those of you that get your dough at the end of the week.) This is pretty awesome, because it only happens every three months or so. It also means I'm going to be able to put an entire paycheck into my savings and not feel guilty or get behind on my finances.

Later this month we're doing a training weekend for the council COPE weekend staff. The COPE weekends themselves kick off in April, which should be great. I need to make sure my schedules allow for that, though, especially since I'm kind of helping plan the whole thing along with this guy Matt, who I've mentioned here before. Shouldn't be a problem though, I wouldn't imagine.Definitely not looking forward to driving a few hours to damn near Scranton each weekend, but whatever, it'll be fun once we're there. Plus now that Drew is on board, it won't be as awkward.

Because there really isn't much else to do on Fridays

2007-03-09T20:14:00.000-05:00

This post is about justification. I enjoy keeping house in my little corner of the internet, and at the same time I love reading other blogs. In something of an irregular several part series, I'm going to go down my blogroll and justify why I have someone linked, if I know them or not, and other thoughts as I see fit. It's something I've thought about doing for a while since I pretty much click through all the links to the right at least once every day, sometimes more.

The "Keep In Touch" and "Self Promotion" sections are pretty straightforward. One is how to get back at me, and the other is places for which I do occasional work. Moving on, the "Tangible" section is a list of folks I know personally and have encountered on more than one occasion. Many were classmates at college, but some I know from other places such as camp. Here's how:

Sara Allen: I met Sara my junior year, when she was a freshman. I used to enjoy when we would frustrate ourselves over the crossword during my senior year.

TR Auclair: Met TR my sophomore year. We lives together my senior year at school. He is from Rhode Island and I have on more than one occasion stayed at his house during both the summer and winter.

Ryan Carey: He was a year ahead of me in school, and is pretty much nuts. One of my favorite parts of college was playing ultimate frisbee on the baseball field with he and others.

Amanda Digiandomenico: Not going to lie, I copied and pasted her name. Amanda roped me into doing some stuff for the yearbook my freshman year, and was also with the theater group. She's moving to Cleveland soon, but she's still a'ight in my book.

Ali Eaton: Some of my first and best college memories include Ali, among them late night Llanerch runs after tech and bitter nights in the Collegian office.

Seth Hetu: Not sure which summer I first met Seth, but he worked at camp for several summers with me. He's currently living in Singapore, but the bond among coffee drinkers is strong with this one.

Pat Hogan: Pat and I worked on the Collegian together, and he used to sleep less than pretty much everyone else I knew. He was my senior year's Ed Mahon, only more inclined toward Wii.

Drew Lazor: I went to high school and college with Drew, and shared a house with him for the last two years of college. His knowledge of trivial pop culture and things NBA astounds me. It's pretty unnatural, really.

Justin Leo: Justin went to La Salle with me, and he currently lives the life of a movie star (pre-fame) in LA. We are, however, in constant e-mail contact via-Nighthawks.

Steve Lipenta: I met Steve through Paul Tsikitas (more on him momentarily), and though he goes to St. Joes, I do not dislike him. He used to come to my house and play poker occasionally with several other people and play Radiohead covers on the acoustic guitar.

Denise Maher: Worked with Denise on the Collegian, where she was a fairly cutthroat news editor my junior year. I'm not sure why she hasn't decked me yet for all my misogynistic commentary, but she is quite the unflappable spirit.

Mike McGeary: I met Mike through Turco, and have seen his back covered in Nair (which wasn't pretty.) Mike slept on floors all across the country and ate Peanut Butter sandwiches for a year in the name of Democracy, and for this I admire him. He's also the voice of the Lady Jumbo's (Tufts) basketball team, and for this I mock him.

Megan McGee: I met Megan my junior year at La Salle, and spent many mornings in Backstage with her discussing a litany of topics and people. She is also an avid cross-worder, and we got along famously for that.

Adam McGrath: Adam was the entertainment editor for the Collegian before I, and inspired me to cut corners in the most effective way possible (that's a compliment.) I wish he lived closer than Chicago because we'd definitely hang out more often. He hasn't updated his journal since October, but I leave the link there in hope.

Joe Pelone: Joe was the entertainment editor to follow me at the Collegian. I still talk to him on occasion, and admire his devotion to his work despite the slackerish ways he attempts to show. The staff once tried to buy his edge, but he wasn't selling, choosing instead to give it away for free later. He's still cool, though.

Andy Rees: Andy and I worked at camp together, and he's currently a freshman at RIT. Why he's not pursuing a writing career is beyond me, but I suppose he's just smarter than writers. He's into computers and science, but writes in a quirky manner I very much enjoy.

Dan Somovilla: Dan went to college with me, and is an odd bird in the best way possible. He loves football and beer, but only in excess, and shares a dislike for the Eagles with me (although he does like the Steelers.)

Drew Stephan: Drew and I shared a hall for a year of college, then a dorm room for the following year, and a house for the last two years. He used to shower very infrequently but has since been cured of this. Because he lives two blocks from me, we still hang out all the time.

Duane Swierczynski: The moderator for the Collegian for a year while I was there, and the current editor in chief of the Citypaper. He writes (excellent) crime novels at night. He's an awesome guy and did a book reading at my house during my senior year in college.

Paul Tsikitas: Paul and I graduated together, and he's pretty much awesome. His taste in music is somewhat antiquated, but I don't hold that against him. Also he used to have excellent parties at his apartment.

James Turco: I met James when I was 15 when we worked together at camp. He's from Rhode Island and lives in Boston so I don't get to hang out as much as I'd like. He's bitter and cynical, likes baseball and music, and drinks both coffee and beer frequently, so we get along famously.

Gwen Tuxbury: I met Gwen my sophomore year in college after she transfered from Boston University. We started dating that spring and moved in together (officially) this fall. She's pretty much the best.

Pam Woodward: Met Pam my senior year in college, and for as reserved as she seems to be, she's great on stage. Also she seems to stay out of petty drama, which is always a positive thing.

So that's that. Oh by the way if I know you personally, you're reading this, and you didn't see your name above, let me know and I'll put a link to your little corner of the world wide web there as well.

In the next part of this series, which will be posted when I feel like it, I'll let you know what it is that makes me inclined to read through the host of other blogs that I do.

Slow day at the shop; my mind wanders

2007-03-07T11:22:00.000-05:00

Are there people you know, or see regularly, that you can't fathom pooping? I know a lot of people like that (names withheld to protect the constipated), but it's kind of a silly thought to have in general. I mean, the book is right. If you don't poop you die. I'm unsure what all the taboo and fuss is about.

It would be great if people could feel normal simply acknowledging to others, as well as themselves, that defecation occurs. I know I relish my time enthroned in the bathroom. That's where I store my ESPN: The Magazine and The Week magazines. It's the only quiet room in my apartment with a sitting place. Plus nobody thinks I'm odd for reading with no pants on like they do when I'm sitting in Rittenhouse Square.

What I'm really getting at is, why do we have that inherent feeling of guilt whenever we excuse ourselves to the bathroom knowing that it's a #2, not a #1? It's the same thing that keeps people in the stall until everyone else vacates the bathroom. Not me, clearly, but some people. If I hear the rustle of toilet paper accompanied by a long pause, I generally make it a point to stay in the bathroom until the occupant exits the stall, simply to act as if nothing is out of the ordinary (it isn't) and hopefully break down their fear of stall-exiting.

There's no reason to feel guilty if you excuse yourself to the bathroom in the company of others and take a little extra time. It just means that you're running on a different internal clock. No harm done, just be sure to wash your hands. There's no need to feel embarrassed upon returning, because secretly everyone in your party is relieved that THEY didn't have to poop during the outing. The reason people feel guilty is because they know other people know they were pooping. My response: so what? It happens, no guilt need be associated.

Anyhow all shit talking aside, you know you have a good, or at least decent job, when you forget it's payday and are met with a pleasant surprise when the owner hands you your week's earnings personally.

Yesterday was a dandy at the shop in terms of the clientèle that breezed through. Oh, and chicken salad returned today, thankfully. I felt absolutely famished yesterday without it. But on to the story.

On about 5 pm, a woman who had been sitting in the shop drinking a Tranquility blend tea since before I started working (3 pm) made a call on her cell. She dialed someone named Frank, and spent the next 40 or so minutes braying in a desperately neurotic manner with Frank, for whom I feel the utmost sympathy.

The woman was discussing some sort of lawsuit for which she could not afford counsel, something to do with pensions or wrongful dismissal or something. Didn't catch it all. During the course of the conversation, she paced around and around the shop, alighting at times on the counter directly in front of the register and creating a line at one point for people waiting to order.

"I'm a big dumb idiot" she loudly proclaimed at one point. I kind of wanted to help this woman, but I am not really able to give out free legal advise, you know? At the same time I wanted her to take her loud conversation elsewhere, as she was gathering a collection of angry looks from the other customers in the shop.

"I have a headache, do you have a headache Frank?" she queried her captive audience, who I imagined had her on speaker phone as he watched Pardon the Interruption at 5:30. Yes, I wanted to answer, and I will too shortly, stemming from the fact that I can't hear people ordering drinks over your braying. This must be what it's like to work at Tiki Bobs, only this woman was more bearable.

Mercifully she decided that her headache and legal woes were to grand to continue the conversation, and she ended the call. Moments later she packed her computer and left. Now I ask you: why couldn't she have packed her damn computer 40 minutes prior and made her loud calls outside the environs of a quiet coffee shop?

There is a large gentleman who resides upstairs from the shop, and periodically he takes to stomping around his apartment, causing the lights suspended by fishing line filament in the shop to sway. I wonder if he ever comes in here, being that he lives upstairs. Since I don't know what he looks like, I can only assume he's in here on occasion but hasn't announced his upstairs residency to me yet.

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On a completely unrelated note, I really dislike the band The Arcade Fire, and will not make purchase of their new album. I will listen to it in its entirety for the purpose of re-affirming my dislike, however.

AdamRiff.com has had a litany of great posts up in the past few days. What a great blog.

The Jack line: It's not $0.99 per minute, you pay with your little finger

2007-03-07T09:50:00.000-05:00

There are only three distinct occurrences of a full phone number being given out in 5 and a half seasons of 24, that I'm aware of. Once in Day 4, and twice so far in Day 6. Jack is the one to give out the number each time. In Day 4 he gave his number to someone, I forget who, and said to call him after some event or other. In the current day he gave out his brother Graem's number a few hours ago, and in this weeks episode he gave the unfortunately obvious soon to be deceased Russian fellow the number for CTU.

So being the huge fanboy that I am, when he gave out the number in Day 4, 310-597-3781. Again, being a fanboy, I called the number; it's a Spanish language recording for a Nextel 24 hotline. You can, from what I understand, leave a voice mail for Jack Bauer. Of course I saved this in my phone book for future amusement, and in the hopes that he would one day call me...

Anyhow I was super excited to hear another full phone number on Tuesday's show, and this time for CTU. I dialed it in and hit save to phone book. The following message popped up: "This number is already in use for: Jack Bauer." Man was I annoyed. I thought I'd stumbled on another little 24 quirk I could enjoy, but no. Smart to give out the same number, but I don't recall it being in Spanish last time I called.

Graem's number, 818-555-0175, just finds a message saying the number is not a valid one. Maybe it's because he's deceased now. Things to ponder.

On an unrelated note, my first cell phone was the one Jack used for most of Day 1, and the one George Mason uses for much of Day 2. It's the Nokia with the face that slides up and down over the keypad. I thought it looked cool when I got it, and I was proven right. I still have that phone somewhere, maybe I'll start using it again.

Anyhow, this week definitely played out like I've been hoping. Some action, some resolution, and some big 'well, duh' moments.

If you follow 24 at all you knew Reed Pollock wasn't going to go far as a bad guy. His plot line was too short-sighted and he didn't have a gun. His exposure was inevitable, but I'm glad it was Lennox who turned him in. In an e-mail from Drew: "Tom Lennox is kinda gully now." True, and now he and Karen Hayes can form an awkward little alliance in which Tom goes all Vigo the Carpathian and tries humping her leg. And of course Vice President Daniels wants to pin this all on Tom based on testomony and his flip-flopping on the plan to round up all the middle easterners. From my entry last week: "That said, I think the whole bombing thing is going to be blamed on Lennox." Just sayin...

The graphic of the 'shadow computer' inside the Russian consulate was almost laughable. As if that graphic has any bearing on the understanding of the nomenclature by anyone at CTU. If you need that graphic to go 'ah, now I understand, yes, you trace those messages,' chances are you're fodder for terrorist violence at some point during the day anyway.

Raise your hand if you think going into the Russian Embassy was a good idea. Nobody? Okay, raise your hand if you don't think this will come back at some point. Nobody again? Well good, you all get a 2/2. Though I feel this is more of a moment designed to demonstrate yet again Jack's willingness to sacrifice himself personally for the good of the country, I do think it's a plot ploy to make us fear the worst. Still, not a good idea breaking into an embassy. Pretty great that he speaks Russian, though.

It seemed perfectly clear the moment the Russian Consul cut his cigar with Logan that, at some point, a cigar cutter was coming in to play. As well despite his patriotic little foray away from the farm, I still don't like Logan. Unclear why exactly, but it probably has something to do his his being a giant bastard during day 5. The man responsible for the death of David Palmer isn't ever going to hold my trust again. He does however resemble Richard Nixon, so at least he has something going for him.

Man, things are getting good, and there's no way next week isn't good too. Jack still needs to get out of the consul, which will happen by subversive force from CTU of course. Bill Buchanan is the business for calling this in. I'm excited. His wife still has more balls than he does, though. It's true and you know it.

Sandra Palmer has been absent long enough that her whining bray has almost faded from my nightmares. Bet she comes back next week and bitches about Waild some more.

I'm excited yes, but still a little pissed that the Jack Bauer message line is a. in Spanish and b. always full so you can never leave a message. Come on Jack, check your voice mail. Than again, when has Jack ever checked his voice mail? Never mind.

Music and literature consume my life

2007-03-06T14:35:00.000-05:00

Because I got a record player about a month ago, I've been thinking about getting some stuff on vinyl now because a. it's cheap and b. that's the original form. Today I purchased History of Eric Clapton from Rustic Music on 13th St. for $2. It's grainy, but sounds great just the same.

A lot of records are like that, such as the old Simon and Garfunkel or Beatles records I got from my mom when she gave me the player. Sure, they sound great on a remastered CD, but the urgent sound is lost. So too is the decision as to which tracks to put on the side people are most likely to listen to, and which to relegate to the reverse side. Kind of a neat process that's been lost with technology.

Like I'd mentioned before, I get to listen to whatever I want while I'm at the coffee shop; consequently, I played back to back to back live sets from The Slip yesterday. Recher Theater, Lupo's Dec. 29th, and Wild Duck Music Hall sets. Today I'm thinking some older stuff, followed by some Zox, Wet Confetti and Les Sans Culottes. I lead a diverse musical existence.

I finished the book The Sex Lives of Cannibals last week at work. It's not quite qhat it sounds like, but it was right up my alley. Basically a guy and his wife move to an island in the middle of the Pacific for two years. They move there so she can take a job, and he decides to be an 'author' while he's there, which is code for roving around aimlessly and documenting two years on the equator. I definitely enjoyed it, and it was decently easy to read.

Worked 9 hours at the bakery on Sunday and it was about as busy as it could be while still almost keeping up with things. Owning to the flower show going on upstairs, about 90% of the time at work was spent at the counter helping people, and there was a line even with two of us working the counter and two people doing other bakery things.

Last night was the first time I missed 24, but thankfully it's always available for hi-res, commercial free download from a perfectly legal *cough* website mere hours later. I finished receiving the episode, and it's torturous to wait until tonight to watch it. I'm doing the nice thing and only watching the first few minutes though, lest Gwen become angry that I watched it without her. I tried taping it but apparently programming the VCR is impossible. The myths about NASA scientists not being able to do it are surely true. I was positive that I did it correctly, but I came home to a blank tape. Man was I pissed.

Holy shiat, this is insane. Money says this dude found religion shortly thereafter.

Hunter S. Thompson was pretty much the best. Photos and the like.

Credit or Debit?

2007-03-03T03:04:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while at the shop I'll get a phone call. It always begins like this:

Me: "Hello, Cafe Mocha"

The other end: Click or beeping sound "Hi, do you guys insert innocuous or blatantly obvious question here.

Sample questions are things like "Do you guys serve coffee?" or "Are you open right now?"

Me: "Yes."

Invariably the answer is yes.

The other end: "Great. Do you take credit cards"

Me: "Yes"

The other end: "Do you have one of those card readers?"

Me: "Yes."

The other end: "Thanks!"

Then they immediately hang up.

This happens 8+ times a day, and it's always the same. These people don't really care whether we are open or that we serve coffee; all they care about is selling me, and the shop, a credit card reader. That's what the clicking or beeping is about at the beginning of the call. Much like the telemarketers that interrupt any important activity you may be doing, they call 5-10 places at once, and the calls are transfered to an operator bank as they are picked up.

It's annoying only because their pitch is the same across the board. Innocuous question that anyone might pose to such a shop (only there is a 100% chance the answer is yes) to catch you off guard, then the real question, whether or not you accept credit cards. I wish just once someone would ask something like "are your fire extinguishers charged?" That's just funny enough that I wouldn't get so angry at being interrupted from my reading for the 8th time that morning.

Then there was the girl who, when staring at the menu, professed that she "would never have thought to order espresso here. I'll have to try it sometime."

That kind of stupidity needs no commentary.

I saw The Slip again Wednesday night and it ruled. I like the World Cafe, it's small and you really feel like you're near the stage even in the back. And the acoustics are fantastic as well.

The second band that played, Earl Greyhound, was pretty much brilliant. Right from the first song they had Paul and I hooked, which doesn't happen very often. I definitely bought their CD after the set, and it's damn good as well.

Here are a few pictures I took at the show using Gwen's camera. I'm forever grateful that she lets me use it to document my goings about at live shows. Maybe one of these days I'll get my own...

Singer Brad Barr

Bassist Marc Friedman

Drummer Andrew Barr on the Steel Drum

Brad and Marc back to back. Some fool's head jumped in the frame at the time of the shot, but I still like it anyway.

Other Pictures from the show are here.

Next week is the halfway point... hopefully something happens

2007-02-28T10:21:00.000-05:00

Nothing doing on the 24 front, save for one dead former terrorist conspirator, one incapacitated president, one former president who apparently lives in the middle of a horse racing track and one very very unconvincing government turncoat. Sigh. This season is shaping up to be somewhat of a disappointment as far as action goes. The first few episodes were great, but not so much recently. I think it's going to be one of those things where you have to watch the whole thing at once instead of spread out. I mean, that's how it's supposed to be watched anyway, but still.

My biggest hope for the season is that Morris gets blasted and comes out of the mens room belting Elton John. Man would that rule. Either that, or he gets angry drunk and levels a whiskey bottle at Milo from across the office. Maybe something from the love triangle can come up, like Chloe telling Milo that the kid really isn't his. Okay so what I really want is for the CTU office to turn into an episode of The Real World. Does that make me a bad person? I say no.

It's slow, yes, but as far as acting goes this season's two big downfalls are both in the White House: Reed Pollock and Wayne Palmer. Reed is so thoroughly unconvincing as far as bad guys are concerned. I mean come on dude, Lennox already proved that he's not willing to be a part of something with which he does not agree, so what makes dude think he'll be a part of the plan AFTER the President is dead? Clearly he didn't spend a few seconds and think that through. Obviously, that's why he's still just a pawn and will get his comeuppance before the day is out.

That said, I think the whole bombing thing is going to be blamed on Lennox, based on three things. Palmer mentioned that Lennox was against the whole thing from the beginning shortly before the practice speech was to begin, Lennox wasn't around anytime before or during the speech and that short haired woman popped up three separate times asking about Tom and looking sketchy when she couldn't find him. She's not been in the show to this point yet, so why would she get a bunch of face time and some speaking roles if she wasn't going to be in at least one more episode?

Despite his situation (tied up in the toolshed), I still don't find Lennox to be a sympathetic character. I think it's just that his character is a sniveling ass-kisser. True, he got all righteous recently and that's why he got tied up by his own lap dog, but I still don't really like him.

Can we please get Aaron Pierce back yet? Thanks!

Lastly, did anyone else think that ambassador in the beginning of the episode looked like Jay Marioti?

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Some random notes:

- Here's hoping the shipment from Nevada is a bunch of Reno showgirls. Unfortunately it looks like something from an Isaac Asimov meets Gene Roddenberry project.

- Wayne Palmer's face seems to be off center. He also sounded downright Palmer-ish (as in David) when he told handed the ambassador his balls in a jar.

- Logan's beard extends down past his shirt line. Pretty gross. I've never liked the guy, and he still seems really sinister to me. Don't like the whole situation. I support his beard growth, however.

- I love that Logan goes to his jewelry box and picks out the cheapest looking pin he could find. Yes, I know it's the flag pin, but it still looks tacky. He should have a campaign pin that says Van Buren for President. Didn't that guy have a sweet beard, too? Edit: No, but he did have some sweet sideburns.

- Great, Jack's going into another consul. We know how that turned out last time. Hint: poorly.

- Annnddd, yet another episode without the Sandra Palmer catastrophe. Yes! Seems like that plot line has happily fizzled out.

Caffeine, round two.

2007-02-27T17:00:00.000-05:00

I posted late last week about leaving Penn, which I did after drinking a few Golden Monkey's at the auction going on during my last day there. This week I started a new job, which involves less sitting at a computer and more re-filling my caffeine IV bag (like you don't have one). I'm working a little over 36 hours a week now at Cafe Mocha, a pretty sweet (but a tad pricey) coffee establishment near Jefferson Hospital in Center City.

I'm pretty happy working here, but since I am only in the middle of my second day, I will reserve judgment until a later time when the honeymoon is over. However, I do enjoy the fact that if it's not busy I can pretty much do whatever I want, which includes the crossword puzzle, reading a book or the back issues of The New Yorker I have been neglecting and even using the computer in the shop for whatever purpose I see fit. It's also pretty great that the shop's stereo has a tape player, meaning I can bring in my adapter and listen to my iPod all day. This is pretty much the best thing ever. Yesterday I listened to two entire live shows from the Slip, as well as some Lou Reed. All without the inconvenience of using the ear bud headphones.

Naturally, expect a significant drop off in stories about people in my office, being that I no longer have an office to speak of. In the place of those stories however, expect more on the people that come in to this shop.

Like, say, the perfectly dressed man who came in a few minutes ago carrying several issues of Vanity Fair. When I say perfectly dressed, I mean that I have never seen a more impeccably knotted tie nor a pair of slacks pressed as straightly as this gentleman's. He ordered a nonfat decaf mocha, and as I made the drink I tried to make some idle conversation as well.

"I like that magazine," I said. "good articles, I like the writing."

"It's my life," he replied.

I went back to making his drink in silence. No need to take that conversation much further. He seemed nice, but a little bit Devil Wears Prada-ish.

Anyhow if you want to stop by, here's the info on the shop. It's in Center City at 263 S. 10th St. That's on 10th between Locust and Spruce. My schedule is as follows:

Monday ----- 8am-3pm
Tuesday ---- 3pm-10pm
Wednesday - 8am-4pm
Thursaday -- 3pm-10pm
Friday ------ 3pm-10pm

While I can't really hook you up with free drinks and the like, you're more than welcome to come take advantage of the free wireless internet and vegan soup.

I am an offensive person, and I am fine with that

2007-02-26T23:57:00.000-05:00

So I've had this idea for a long time now, and I'd like to air it out and see what y'all (read: all 5 of you reading this) think. I want to make this documentary. Well, it would be more of a mockumentary. The working title is "When Fat People Move." It's going to be a collection of videos of massively obese people doing everyday things, like reaching for high up items in the grocery store, looking both ways before crossing the street and, of course, double fisting burgers at Five Guys.

I used to have a video on my computer of a fat kid jumping on a diving board (not the one pictured) and falling, ultimately bouncing once more on his back before catapulting into the pool. Another video I enjoyed during college was a woman bouncing along on a dirt bike and falling over the handle bars. Both individuals looked very awkward doing relatively normal things, so it got me thinking that it's pretty amusing to watch (some) obese people do most anything. Unless they're charging at you and your camcorder full steam like a Rhino defending its territory. Then it's hilarious.

While this is clearly offensive to most people, I think it would be about the funniest thing ever. At least this guy would like it. Probably wouldn't be a fantastic seller, and it would probably wouldn't even get to a(ny) shelf, but whatever. It's one of those things that, whenever I think about it, I chuckle to myself.

Brilliant diary of Jeter and A-Rod's sleepover history. DJ Gallo is quickly becoming my favorite ESPN writer because of these sort of 'articles.'

2001: Up to no good during a sleepover at A-Rod's place in Texas, the pair prank-calls fellow superstar shortstop Nomar Garciaparra and asks him if his refrigerator is running. Garciaparra says it is, and then a giggling Jeter and A-Rod tell him he should go catch it -- upon which Garciaparra tears his hamstring.

2005: The relationship between the two becomes even more fractured during a sleepover game of Truth Or Dare. Jeter dares Rodriguez to drive in a meaningful run once in his Yankees career, prompting Rodriguez to ask Jeter to admit the truth that no one would have ever heard of him had he played his career in a city like Kansas City or Milwaukee instead of New York.

Speaking of ESPN, It's ridiculous to me that so much coverage and stock is put into the NFL combine. There was a 5 minute segment on Sportscenter this evening about how Lawrence Timmons was a disappointment because he was listed at 6'3" but came into the combine 'below 6'1." Yeah, and so that means he's not as good a player as initially expected? Because he's two inches shorter than the scouts thought? Get real. I hate the combine coverage, it's silly and unnecessary. If someone can play, they can play. What does it matter if they run a 6.5 or 6.3 40-yarder? Hint: it doesn't.

I feel like such an idiot because I just looked up how to make hard-boiled eggs. I was, however, planning to do it the 'wrong way' (putting them into boiling water rather than putting them in cold water then boiling it), so it's a god thing I did.

Edit: I made the eggs, whipped up some egg salad, and had two sandwiches. I didn't put the egg shells down the garbage disposal immediately and Walter spread them throughout the apartment within five minutes. Seriously, there were no shells in the sink when I finished my first sandwich. There were shells in the bath tub, however.

I kind of wish I weren't working tomorrow night, because tomorrow Jeff Foxworthy and, undoubtedly, a few other yokels debut "Are you smarter than a fifth grader?" This, of course, looks like the best thing ever. I really only want to see one episode to make sure I can answer most if not all of these questions. You know, for my own mental security.

I'm out like John Amaechi only in a different context

2007-02-22T18:50:00.000-05:00

Since September, I have existed in an episode of The Office, only nothing is humorous because there is no Steve Carell, no stripper Ben Franklin and no office slut getting into all sorts of trouble. That said I've been looking for a new job since about the moment I began here, and starting on Monday I will be employed full time. It's at a coffee shop, yes, but full time is full time. I have been working 30 hours a week, for decent pay, but have been, shall we say, unsatisfied. This post marks the end of my Penn series, the last of an era. It's currently 6:50 pm, and I'm waiting until 8 to get some photos, then heading home from 'work' here for the last time. I'm posting from my computer at work, which can be seen in the photo. It's the one with the lit-up computer monitor. In lieu of a post railing on all the things I dislike about the past 6 months of my working life, I will instead detail the various other jobs for which I applied along the way. Enjoy the variety presented below, as it is certainly a lot. You'll notice that as I approached the current date, some of the jobs I looked at were downright bizarre.

The listing is presented as follows, and is sorted by month.

Job title
- Date inquiry was made
- Apparent nature of the job
- What, if any, was the response
- Other extraneous details

August

Editor, hotmovies.com
- 11 August
- Editing website content and writing short posts/stories
- No response
- I later found out, after actually visiting the website, that it offers sales and streaming adult video. That could have been interesting...

Associate Editor, Philadelphia Museum of Art
- 11 August
- Editing brochure/flyer content and the placards that hang along with the artwork
- Response only to say that they would contact me with further information
- I was in no way qualified for this job, but it would have been cool, I think. I would have had to wear a tie though, more than likely.

Writer, Deplhia Life Magazine
- 11 August
- Writing articles, I suppose
- No response
- I haven't seen this magazine ever, and their website is still 'under construction.' Clearly not a very professional company.

Barista, Grocery
- 26 August
- Making coffee/sandwiches, being peppy
- Interviewed, but they hired someone else
- Nice store, but probably wouldn't have been for me. To sterile, not enough cynicism.

Youth Sports Photographer, AG Photography
- 26 August
- Taking pictures of kiddies in their uniforms for mock sports cards
- Interviewed, but didn't get the job
- Later found out that the girl with whom I interviewed is a friend of a friend when I saw her at Drew's Citypaper cooking party. Would have been a neat part time gig, but involved a ton of driving.

September

Bartender, Unspecified small Philly theater
- 8 September
- Getting drinks for theater-goers
- No response
- The ad said no experience necessary, so I applied. I figured there'd be no drunken brawls at a theater bar, and that if there were, I wouldn't have to worry about an errant stool or pool stick.

Entertainment Culture Writer, The Evening Bulletin
- 19 September
- Pretty much what it sounds like
- Cursory response from editor Tom Rice
- I'm not sure why I didn't hear back any further on this one, but again, whatever.

October

Sports Writer, The Evening Bulletin
- 4 October
- Covering high school sports around the city
- The editor e-mailed me a few times, but nothing came of it
- Could have been interesting, but oh well.

Staff Writer, Citypaper
- 16 October
- Writing news, mainly
- Didn't hear back, didn't expect to
- I'm pretty much unqualified for that job, having no real experience with news, but shots in the dark are always worth it.

Freelancer, BUCKS Magazine
- 24 October
- Generate story ideas and articles about Bucks County
- Short reply asking for a ton of pitches and the like
- What was I thinking? I know nothing about Bucks County. At all.

Deputy Sports Editor, Delaware Online
- 25 October
- Covering sports around Delaware
- Didn't hear back
- Yet another job I'm on the fence with. I'd like to get a full time writing gig with sports, but driving to Delaware all the time would suck. I don't even like when I have to drive through it, much less spend time there.

Sports Editor/Editor/Writer, Journal Register newspaper group
- 25 October
- Different depending on which job I may have gotten
- Interviewed and e-mailed a good deal, but ended up jobless
- The most promising of all the jobs I applied for. I would have liked to work there, because it's only 20 minutes outside of Philadelphia. It's in Jersey, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made. The girl I interviewed with was really nice, and Tony Regina works there, so I am not bitter about not getting the job, really.

November

General Website writing, europemoda.com
- 28 November
- Short articles/text editing for the website
- Didn't hear back
- What the hell was I thinking? Oh right, I wanted to make money. Duh.

General writer, phillyburbs.com
- 29 November
- Short articles and the like
- No response
- Again, what was I thinking? I know nothing about the suburbs of Philadelphia. Literally nothing except that Ray Porecca is from Lansdale.

December

Sales Rep, outdoor sports company
- 10 December
- Sales rep
- No response
- I wish I had gotten this job, because the place is literally 3 blocks from my apartment, and it's a neat shop. Oh well.

Line Cook, Ava Restaurant
- 10 December
- Line cook
- No response
- I know nothing of being a line cook. I think whoever read the e-mail sensed the desperation. Good thing they didn't take me because their restaurant would be in the toilet now, or I'd be unemployed.

Outdoor program counselor, adventure company in Ireland
- 11 December
- Run a high ropes course and other duties as assigned for skill
- Lots of response. Got hired, actually.
- I'm probably the most annoyed at this, because I would have loved to go live in Ireland for a while. I couldn't take the job because I wouldn't be able to get a work Visa, and am not willing to work illegally on the side. Going to jail in Ireland doesn't seem all that appealing, or having a deportation on my record.

Personal Driver
- 13 December
- Presumably drive some government person around
- No response
- This would be hilarious, me riding my bike to work each morning in a rented/crappy used tux and driving some politician around. Ridiculous. Clearly I didn't get that job.

Public Records Researcher/Proofreader
- 13 December
- Run background checks/proofread the final reports
- Set up interview
- I got an interview for this job and may have gotten the position, but I didn't want to drive to Southampton Pa every day to work from four until midnight, so I didn't go to the interview. I still see this job on Craigslist all the time.

Copyeditor, Citypaper
- 13 December
- Copyedit the articles for the CP
- Interviewed
- I interviewed but shat the bed on the copy editing test. That shit was hard. Kind of annoyed I didn't get the job, but it happens. I still have love for New York errr, the Citypaper. Damn VH1 brainwashing...

January

Engraver, somewhere in Center City
- 6 January
- What it wounds like
- One response, but nothing more
- This had the potential to be pretty cool. Plus I don't imagine there is a dress code.

Glass Art Handler, Center City
- 7 January
- Packaging and shipping glass artwork
- No response
- This could have been really cool, except when I dropped something and got canned.

Gym Attendant, some sweatbox
- 7 January
- Work the front desk
- No response
- Could be cool, especially with a free gym membership. No response though, so there is a 0% chance of getting pounded in by some 'roid head. Thankfully.

Blog Editor, uwishunu.com
- 25 January
- Editing/writing for the GPTMC blog
- Got a response, but no follow up
- I would have loved to have this job, but I didn't get it. It was a temporary full time position, which would have been nice for a while. Plus I like blogging, obviously.

Blog Editor, Bed and Breakfast
- 25 January
- Editing a blog about the customers at a B&B
- No response
- This would have been an awesome job. Interviewing customers about their experience at the B&B and in Philadelphia and writing about it, and a free room whenever, benefits and good salary. Eff, man...

February

Office Assistant, somewhere in Center City
- 14 February
- Desk jockey
- No response
- Another desk-oriented job working in excel and filing shit is not what I wanted. Glad nobody responded.

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So after the litany of positions and places to and for which I applied, there were a few things I did pick up along the way. There were three jobs I got during that time:

Writer, Wonkavision Magazine
- 25 August
- Writing articles, reviewing CD's
- Got a freelance position but it doesn't pay. Don't do a whole heck of a lot there, coincidentally
- I picked up a bottle of Knob Creek at the cutthroat Pollyanna Christmas party, which was really freaking sweet.

COPE program planner, Cradle of Liberty Council
- 26 October
- Plan the off-season COPE program
- Got the job, although I didn't really submit an application
- Working with this dude Matt has been really cool, and although it's not a full time thing, I'm going to enjoy it when April rolls around.

Whipping Boy, Flying Monkey Patisserie
- 17 January
- Do the dishes, frost cupcakes, be a general burro as needed
- Started there at the end of January
- Thoroughly enjoyable job as I'd posted about before. I reiterate the fact that there is no clock there, so I don't even notice when it's coming down to the end of the day.

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Peace, Penn. I'll be seein' ya.

Emerald Nuts takes on new meaning

2007-02-20T11:54:00.000-05:00

In May of last year, I was working at camp doing some maintenance work to get ready for the summer season. We spent a few evenings putting together the new docks for the waterfront areas. These docks, which resemble enormous Lego bricks, had been shipped from somewhere in the mid-west by a special company who also came in to oversee their construction.

The foreman of this merry band of drunks (seriously, they had a cooler full of beer to aid in the dock's construction) was a leathery skinned imp of a man, complete with boat shoes and a funny little cap. And of course like most people who have some sort of inferiority complex, he drove (drives) a big Hummer H2...

...With a pair of truck nuts hanging from the hitch.

If you don't know what those are, they're a plastic replica of testicles that attach to one's truck to compensate for something. Or to come off as a complete asshole. Of course, I want a pair of these for my Toyota, but that's something else entirely.

The first time we spied these bright blue Truck Nuts was during the unloading process. James, Dan and myself were instructed to climb atop the trailer truck and just 'give the docks a shove.' From 15-20 feet up. Oh, and we were standing on the docks at the time. Real safe I assure you. Dude says they're going to just bounce and be fine. What a fiasco.

From our perch atop the docks, however, we happened to look down to where his truck was parked. I'm not sure who noticed them first, probably Dan, but there they were: a pair of enormous, blue, obscene Truck Nuts. After much pointing and some hushed conversation, it was determined that we would need to castrate this truck. Not for malicious purposes, simply because when you hang a large, fake plastic pair of testicles from your bumper you invite ridicule upon yourself. And of course the three of us planned to hang them from a long string and walk around with the blue Truck Nuts at just the right level. If you don't get it, just move on, sorry.

Every day this guy would drive in, and every day we talked about stealing the truck nuts. Others were brought in for consultation, and observations were made. I'm not sure what the final deterrent was (although I think it may have been in the form of a hex bolt affixing the nuts), but it ultimately just didn't happen. After the docks were assembled, he left, never to be seen again. Not by me anyway. I heard from various people that he'd been in once or twice throughout the summer to check on the status of the docks, but that was only hearsay. The truck nuts lived on though as a running joke all summer, something to break tension or for a laugh.

On Feb. 6 at 10:37, I got a text message from my friend Dan, who was there for the beginnings of the Truck Nuts mockery. The message simply said "Truck Nuts!!"I read that and almost lost it laughing. Nothing like the resurgence of a running joke to make your morning.

I know Dan (whose picture graces this entry) reads this; he drunkenly told me so on Friday night around 3 am. I was also instructed by Dan to "call me when I'm sober."

Those that know him know that's probably not true. He's probably in the woods behind your house, or on your roof, just lurking. If he truly is in Dublin, God help the Irish. They're in for a real...treat.

Jack Bauer 'makes it work' a la Tim Gunn and Project Runway

2007-02-19T22:00:00.000-05:00

Often, the clothes the characters wear are lost in the hustle of the 24 season. It's all one day, so the costumes are pretty easy to plan I would imagine. That said, I was glad that Jack, in a stylish hunter green jacket (hunter, I feel, is the appropriate nomenclature for a color donned by Jack Bauer), opened up this week with two kills right from the beginning. In other Jack fashion-related goings on, 'Your momma wears combat boots' is no longer an insult, because so does Jack Bauer. That means your momma is pretty much the best.

When Jack was prepping Marilyn for the entry into the hotel room to retrieve Josh, he handed her a bullet proof vest, which for a lady isn't really the best fashion choice when you're trying to woo back your dead husbands brother. When she was putting on the vest 'under her clothes' (which was surely unnecessary as they entered the apartment forcefully anyway, defeating the element of concealment), Jack definitely checked her out. I was kind of hoping he handed her a slinky little negligee or something, but no dice. Actually, Jack probably finds the bullet proof vest even more arousing than lingerie. Go figure.

The Morris Chloe Milo soap opera/love triangle is heating up nicely, and it's much better than the Sandra Palmer fiasco of a plot. Man I hope she never comes back. Milo is definitely jealous of Morris, and proves it nicely with a tight-fitting t-shirt to impress Chloe on his return from being shot. Plus, now that he knows that Morris is a former alcoholic, you just know that'll come in to play at some point. I mean, Morris is getting wet on the job. That's why his satellite image was all blurry... Wonderful. As a sidenote, I'm glad there's a liquor store within walking distance from CTU. Makes the plot development of an alcoholic that much easier.

That said, I haven't seen someone drink that much whiskey at once since Animal House. When he tells Chloe he had 'a drink,' I'd love to see what two drinks is. Morris' definition of two drinks means I would be dead. I bet his character on the show would mesh nicely with Kiefer Sutherland off the show. Just saying...

Chloe herself got a fashion upgrade this season, going from a blonde to a brunette and replacing her dowdy outfits with a nice black suit jacket. It seems as if she's trying to channel Audrey Raines, but I'm sure. Thing is, Audrey kind of sucks, and Chloe does not. Upgrade!

The final surprise this week concerning fashion was the emergence of Charles Logan from some hole in which he appears to have been hiding. I guess playing an implicit part in a terrorist threat will put you down for a bit. Anyhow the beard works for him, kind of lending something of a grizzled veteran look to Logan. I don't know if I trust him, but it is presently beard season, so why not right?

The one nit picky thing I don't like this season is that the phones have gotten noticeably clunkier. I know they need to view maps and stuff on the screens, but still. That's not the way things are going in real life. Jack needs an iPhone. Huge screen, nice and compact. Let's get on that Fox.

This is that Bill Buchanan actually texted Jack after the Gredenko mishap:

Jack,
We don't have Gredenko :* - (
Sry,
Bill

All in all the cast of 24 always ends up fairly well dressed by the end of the day, surprising considering all that goes on. My vote to CTU best dressed is still Tony Almeida, who always managed to look stylish even when he was a drunken mess (see left). He tended to rip off Jack's long sleeve action-ready shirt style, but definitely wore it well. Also, nothing says classy like Budweiser from a Cubs mug at one in the afternoon.

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And now some random notes:

- "I'll monitor local bandwidth and see what I can come up with." Sure you will Bill, whatever that means.

- The good/bad Papa Bauer plot was exploding courtesy of Marilyn, who was wooed by Jack as only he knows how. When she said "He has my son" would have been the appropriate time for a slip of the tongue to "our son," but I suppose we'll have to wait for that.

- In the opening scene all I could think of was the line from Forrest Gump "Dear god, make me a bird, so I can fly far, far far away."

- He's at an industrial park. Of COURSE he is. LA is apparently filled with suburbs and industry and not much else. Just one of these times I want Jack to shove Erik Estrada out of the way for being a B-List celebrity because there's 'not enough time' to fuel his ego.

- Phillip Bauer's actions are pretty believable because it seems as if he's desperate. Seems like he's grasping at straws here for a way to wrap up his exposure. Fortunately, Jack is on the case. Turns out he wasn't as involved as we though after all. Or was he. More plot twists. Damnit.

- I fully expected Wayne Palmer to be playing Snood when Tom Lennox walked in, not working on a speech. Disappointing to say the least. I bet he plays it on easy, too. He's too much of a wuss to put it to hard, or even evil.

- Lennox is a better man than many, many who have gone before him. I'm glad, I didn't think things would be that easy when it comes to taking out a President. Lennox seems to have the best interest of the country in mind, he's not as self-serving as I thought.

Watch as he pushes the clutter on the desk aside with ease...

2007-02-16T12:20:00.000-05:00

Walter loves sleeping on my desk, especially underneath of the light just to the left of my keyboard. It puts out a good deal of heat and acts like an incubator for the little guy.

He's getting bigger though, and doesn't fit in the space as well as he used to. Often when he lays down, things cascade over the edge of my desk as he pushes them aside. Things such as my keyboard. It's annoying.

He doesn't just sleep there either, he uses it as a staging area of sorts to launch airborne strikes on Millie (our other cat), the carpet, or air. To do this he walks over my keyboard, often disturbing whatever it is I may be doing at the time. While I don't mind this so much, it gets annoying when he not only closes but manages to delete (perfectly legal) files that I'm downloading, particularly if those files are upwards of 9 GB and take days to finish. Yeah, it's happened.

But I really like when he actually sleeps on my desk; he's so peaceful and it calms me. Plus when I can see him in front of me I know he's not tearing things into tiny shreds somewhere else in the apartment. Although lately that's been Millie's forte. She particularly enjoys throwing toilet paper around in the bathroom. I know this because the little shreds, still wet from being chewed on, stick to my feet every morning.

I'm heading to Maryland tonight, but returning to Philly on Saturday. I'm always so reluctant to drive my car anywhere because I hate finding parking. Since there is still snow in the street (and it'll remain there due to the temp not rising above freezing), I know that when I come back it'll be such a pain finding a spot. Nobody is going to be driving anywhere I'm sure, so it'll probably take upwards of 25 minutes to find a spot to park, which will inevitably not be within a two block radius from my apartment. I wish I could get a city parking pass, that would make things easier.

I feel the need to re-design this blog again. It's been a few months. Maybe I'll do that when I get a free moment. Meaning: it's a pipe dream.

I'd like to share with you a few things I saw posted by some of those on my blogroll.

Andy Rees, who seems to like writing more than whatever the hell his major is (something math and science-y of course), had a brilliant idea for a party that I'm sure he ripped off from someone else. I can't prove it so I'm giving him credit. So the idea: A Bullshit Party. Andy explains:

"It's essentially taking the idea of a masquerade ball to the extreme. The idea is simple, nothing you say or hear is true, except for phone numbers and relationship status. All else is bullshit."

Sounds like something else I've heard of before, but I think they called that a Fraternity Rush party. Yeah. Seriously though, this is a great idea in theory, except when you find out that the girl you took home was bullshitting you when she said she didn't have the clap.

Naked Drinking Coffee, one of my favorite blog authors (I wish he'd update daily) offers this advice for those who were single on Valentines day:

"Feel free to stumble home at three in the morning smelling of Bourbon, smoke, and strippers without having to deal with the “where have you been, it’s Valentine’s Day and we should be celebrating our love” stare."

I'm especially fond of his Miles Kendall project, seen here. Explanation here. By writing that I'm a fan, I'm also a participant!

LAist has a funny story, with video, about Joe Rogan getting banned from a comedy club because Carlos Mencia felt "physically threatened" by Joe. Umm, last time I checked Joe is a pretty intimidating guy. Plus after years of following and commentating on the UFC, he must have picked up something. Carlos needs to not steal Joe Rogan's jokes, or Joe Rogan might go all Joe Rogan on him and end his ability to speak. Actually, carry on Carlos.

You can also check out Joe's official site where he has a more in-depth explanation for what happened that night, and a history of he and Carlos's highs and lows. It's pretty funny because if you read into it a little bit, it's pretty clear that Joe wants to kick Carlos' ass. The image from Joe's site, which I have blatantly copied and put here (appropriate given the whole story) was originally titled 'lovingyou.jpg.' Dude's got a sense of humor. Yeah, that'll do nicely.

Pitchers and catchers reported. I joined a fantasy baseball league. I finally have access to ESPN Insider, complete with fantasy reports and predictions. There goes the spring/summer. Sorry Gwen.

New goals in life include...

2007-02-15T21:00:00.000-05:00

I ramble on and on about 24 on a weekly basis, but I do realize it's only a TV show, not, as some people ::coughGwencough:: seem to think I feel, life.

But shit, away from 24, Kiefer William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland is the man. From the news and all the gossip I hear about him, he's absolutely insane when left to his own devices. Kiefer's entire life is lived out like Jack Bauer's after a 24 hour shit show.

The guy is definitely not as strait-laced as his character, or anything he's been in for that matter. Gossip column's occasionally report his appearance at some dive bar with a group of buddies, demanding a tab be started with a Jim Beam on the rocks at 9 am. Straight whiskey in a dive bar at 9 am? Done and done. You just KNOW he's having a good time.

I'm not reckless by nature, nor do I like being drunk, really. However, I would certainly make an exception if I got the chance to drink with Kiefer Sutherland. Wouldn't you? If the answer is no, stop reading. If you're still with me, carry on.

One witness from such a a recent outing said Kiefer claimed his wallet was "indisposed." He said "It's been stolen! I promise I'll come back and pay." The witness said:

"He started to go into a series of karate kicks in the middle of the floor while the bartender, waitress and several customers looked on," a source reports. Thankfully, a star-struck fan agreed to buy him several J&B's on the rocks. After devouring a plate of chicken wings and littering the floor with bones, the star left without tipping."

Seriously, dude is karate kicking in the middle of a bar BEFORE he was drunk. He's one of the highest paid TV actors out there and yet some fan is buying him Beam. Unbelievable, but also awesome. Plus he's living in the middle ages still, just throwing bones on the floor. I'm sure waiters and bartenders hate the dude, but that's why I want to hang with him for a night.

Here are a few news/gossip reports from the past as further required reading.

- Attacking a Christmas tree while drunk

- Indecent Exposure and the like

- Transvestite fun

- Impromptu male revue performance

- Bar fight requiring stitches

Like I said, I'm not a big drinker, but you can see how this guy would be insane to hang with for a night. I think I'm going to make it my personal mission in life to have this happen.

I've definitely heard a couple times of people seeing him in a bar and then ending up hanging out with he and his small group for the rest of the night. I need to be that person. I would certainly throw my generally reserved drinking habits to the wind, that's for sure. Not that I'd be all about the taking my pants off (or him taking his pants off for that matter), but still.

Amazing photoshop contest with a theme appropriate to this post.

Some random facts about Kiefer from IMDB:
- Traveled with the rodeo circuit in the late 1990s and won rodeos in Phoenix and Albuquerque.

- When starting up on the rodeo circuit he decided to buy all the things needed. The horses, the bulls/cows, the tractors, the 900 acre ranch in Montana, then sold it once he was finished.

- Plays ice hockey on a celebrity team.

- Earned first place in the US Team Roping Championships.

- Is close friends with hockey legend Wayne Gretzky

- Is a huge fan of the rock band Queen

You know he'd go insane at Bob and Barbara's here in Philly. $3 for a shot of Jim Beam and a PBR can. Well, insane or dead.

Kiefer, if you're the kind of person who google's himself and you happen to see this blog, e-mail me. Seriously. That would be about the best thing ever.

Why aren't any streets clear at noontime around this dungeon?

2007-02-14T14:29:00.000-05:00

When I said yesterday that it sucked riding my bike to work, I had no idea what was in store for today. I took a look at the road in front of my apartment this morning and figured that there was no way I'm pushing my thin-ass bike tires through that.

So I start walking, figuring no problem, I'll hail a cab. I get a couple blocks and notice there's not really any cabs on the road. Or cars, or even people. Probably just because of the snow, I thought. This is a city, there's always cabs around, it'll be fine.

27 blocks later I arrived at work, on foot and pissed. The net total of cabs that passed me on the way there? Three, and they all had fares. I called the numbers on all three cabs and asked for a pick-up, and was told by all three that there were no cabs in the area.

I should have taken the Market-Frankford line, at least that's running, and quite a bit safer than driving anyhow. It really is good that I didn't ride my bike though, I would still be pedaling. The roads were truly awful from door to door, including the South St. bridge, which usually gets cleared up pretty quickly.

Coincidentally I was more awake when I got to work today than I have ever been before. Usually I glide through the city in a state of half consciousness on my way to work, and remain that way until after my coffee has some time to settle in. Nope, today I trekked through the snow for 45 minutes, which will wake anyone up.

On another note, at around one today the streets around Penn still had not been cleared, nor had the sidewalks. Not even on Chestnut St., a main drag for this part of the city. Odd.

I've been in the mood for deviled eggs ever since last Sunday when I had them at work, and I think today might be the day I go right ahead and make them. Either that or egg salad. Or both, because I am having trouble deciding between the two.

I've also been in the mood for salad in general. Since there isn't much food at my house accounting to the fact that we haven't been grocery shopping in ever, I'm usually in the mood to eat something.

New episode of Lost tonight. Goodie.

England sucks for kids. Now with scientific clout!

Orienteering course on Mars. Echo course would be hard, sound doesn't travel well there right?

Image from Flickr user NoOtherOne, who has some nice shots of Philly

The busses are coming...

2007-02-13T15:40:00.000-05:00

Dogs have so much fun in the snow, until their feet get cold and they whine a lot. I caught these two at just the right time, in between doing their business and wanting to go back inside. The little one kept trying to get at me by crawling under the fence, and she would look up with snow all over her face, hanging from the fur around her mouth. It was cute.

Today has kind of sucked so far, and kind of been awesome. I'll explain for the benefit of the class.

Most of my office is on a staff retreat today. Yesterday I asked a few people around the office if things would be locked up today, or if I would be able to come in and do some work anyway. I was told it would be unlocked, no problem, but that nobody else would be there. Perfect. No disturbances.

So I get up a little late today, planning to go in for a few hours. I hop on the bike and schlep my way up to 34th st. Lock up, grab a coffee and head inside. No haggling with the security guard today, which was a pleasant surprise. Up the steps, finally to the office.

Of course the doors are locked. Of course the lights are off. Why wouldn't they be? I half expected the office to be closed, but I figured it would at least be unlocked for the other people who come in and drop things off, deliver packages, clean, etc. No such luck.

That was the bad part of my day. Well, that and riding back.

The good part of my day was heading back into Bucks County to sit at a table, do the crossword uninterrupted and finish my coffee. And then to the Metro crossword. I just didn't feel like riding back yet, I needed to warm up and dry off just a little bit first.

Of course while I was trying to do the crossword, the table of girls behind me talked the whole time about how one of their friends was dating someone horrible and they wanted to beat him up or some such nonsense. Then they complained that their latte's were a touch on the foamy side. In other news I dislike people.

I have been listening to Less Than Jake nonstop for 3 days now. I've been in a mood. A mood for ska. Don't tell anyone though, I don't want word getting out.

Someone recently clicked through my blog after doing a google search for "Nadia Yassir Nude." Sorry buddy, not finding anything of that sort here. This is a family-friendly blog. If your family is bitter and occasionally curses. You know the deal.

More on 24 later, don't think I didn't take notes.

Stir plot, cover, simmer for two hours

2007-02-13T15:39:00.000-05:00

Two hours of 24 was certainly promising; the hope for some sweet Bauer action was palpable. Unfortunately it didn't play out that way. Sure, there were a few moments of action, but hardly enough eight and nine hours into the show. Like Jack here, we're just waiting.

That is not to say I'm bored; it's a good plot so far, well thought out and cohesive, but the execution of that plot on CTU's part really needs to pick up some speed. It's almost too involved at this point, too much to keep track of. Not like season four, with it's many plots and many resolutions, and not like season one with its singular plot. Definitely a mix of the two; complex plot, plodding pace.

But it's tough to keep track of for sure, and this week's two hour special didn't help matters. Here is what we as viewers need to keep in mind each and every episode thus far, and some notes/speculation on those as I see necessary.

- How is Papa Bauer involved? What's the bigger connection, and does Graem's involvement in season five mean that he and Phillip were involved before then as well?

- How ruthless IS Phillip Bauer? I'm certain he'll go as far as to kill Josh Bauer, and Marilyn should have known that. She certainly should have said something to Jack in the car there. It looked like she was trying to before he and the agents went in to the rigged house, but didn't make it in time.

- What's going on with Milo and Marilyn now? Milo is obviously tougher than I originally thought, but that doesn't mean he's not going to get himself captured. They were in the preview for the next episode so there's not much to that, but still.

- How frosty was the marriage between Marilyn and Graem? She didn't seem too upset when informed of her husband's death. "I've been trying to leave Graem for years." ::yawn:: didn't see THAT coming an hour ago, as soon as she found out Graem was dead. I wonder what went on, exactly, between she and Jack.

- Along those lines, who is Chloe going to coddle now that both Milo AND Morris have gone 'in the field' and gotten themselves into trouble. She's going to have a breakdown trying to keep those two in line.

- Where are the other three nukes? What are the other targets for the day? Morris seems to have programed "the device" to actually work, not to self-destruct or something like I thought he would. No good.

- How long will it be until Karen Hayes comes back to kick Tom Lennox's ass? She's definitely not out of the picture, but it's unclear in what capacity she will return. My guess? Something happens to Buchanan that he can't run CTU. What other reason would there be for her returning to Los Angeles immediately after resigning?

- Will Tom go through with whatever plot his little lap dog turned puppet master has cooked up? What IS that plot anyway? Who's behind it?

- Is Al-Assad truly trying to build a peace between his group and America, or is this some sort of other plot we don't even know about yet? Unclear.

- Will Jack hold up emotionally and physically to the stress of another 15 straight hours? He went from one stressful day, straight to a container ship and two years of captivity, and right back in to another terrorist plot. Not exactly much time to relax during all that, eh?

- Where is the catastrophic failure of a sub-plot featuring Walid Al-Rezani and Sandra Palmer headed? Nowhere I hope. If I never see (or hear) her again I'll be more than happy. I'm sure she and her big mouth will be back, though.
- To what extent is Gredenko involved? Surely he'll be around much longer in the season than Fayed. How much further up the chain does this whole thing go? Is Phillip the end of the line?

- What is Vice-President Daniels' agenda through all his? He's sort of like Lennox in that he doesn't agree with the President, but is he involved in some other way, or just balancing the powers in the White House?

- What is Wayne Palmer expecting from Al-Assad's televised address? What brought on his sudden bout of conscience/growing a pair? Can that continue? Is Lennox going to get involved in another 24 assassination attempt, or something less serious to remove Palmer from office? More importantly, from where did Palmer pull this face? Pensive? Angry? Constipated?

...And that's just off the top of my head. I'm sure I'm forgetting something here, and if I am feel free to comment.

Something HAS to give, and soon. There is too much going on to add anything else to the plot. Next week something must be resolved, hopefully in a swift manner with lots of shooting and yelling "My name is Jack Bauer, I'm a federal agent."

If not, I'm just going to have to go and watch season four again as a coping mechanism.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And now, some notes from the two hour block:

- There's no need for the satellite tracking Milo; Jack's there in real time. In a helicopter. Seeing a much less pixilated version of things. They still lost him. Duh.

- When McCarthy broke the window of that truck, I was kind of hoping some hillbilly was inside. That would have ruled. This is also why I don't get to write TV shows. All my characters would meet funny but unfortunate endings, including the main character, very early in the season.

- Speaking of trucks, when the was that Kurt Russel in that truck that drove by during the underpass scene, smoking on his way to another blown audition? That would be a good fight, Snake Pliskin v. Jack. Who wins?

- I KNEW the blonde would come through in the end. Didn't see her shooting McCarthy and taking the money for herself based on Morris' coercion. Weird… She got it in the end though. Some not so subtle commentary on greed. And blondes.

- You need to use your influence? More like You need to use your inside voice.

- I wish Cingular or other phone services made it that easy to "upload data." Maybe it wouldn't take so damn long to program in all those freaking numbers every time I get a new phone.

- The temporary removal of Chloe directly causes Jack and CTU to lose McCarthy.

- Second-fiddle terrorist: "There really is a fire, what do we do?" BWA HA HA. Worst acting ever.

- When Jack and the CTU gang bust in, it looks like the shooting gallery in an arcade where the various prairie dogs pop out of the ground with targets on them. Also Jack and a shotgun are a winning team.

- My note when Marilyn said she might recognize the house: "They're going to drive around West LA looking for a random house, and find it in under an hour? Seems plausible."

- Another note: "Chloe running point from CTU? Something goes down on this for SURE. Phillip Bauer is one conniving old bastard. And the best is that everyone trusts him."

- Jack to Marilyn: "I promise you I won't put you in any danger." Clearly a lie.

- Did you SEE that gratuitous long shot of the Ford logo on the car Jack was driving? I kind of want a Ford now. Not sure why. Oh, and a gun.

- And finally, Milo driving that souped up UPS truck through the Playskool Kiddie castle as absolutely priceless. That the cascade of grenades going off.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And that's a wrap this week. Check back next week (and whenever really) for more 24 speculation sure to be proven wrong mere days later.

How awkward is it to call someone 'big dirty' instead of a name? Very.

2007-02-09T22:26:00.000-05:00

Thursday night I went out to West Philly to see The Tressels at the Millcreek Tavern. This is the band that I reviewed for Wonkavision and picked for the Citypaper as one of the better albums of the year. They're even better live, trust me. They played a short set, but played very well. I'd definitely like to see these guys again. If you aren't in the know yet, they're new album is on the itunes store or you can hit up their myspace here.

They really pride themselves on the live act, and according to singer Butch, are planning on heading out for a tour sometime this spring to the south, and then trying to hit some of the more urban places on the East Coast. I know wherever I am this summer I'll look out for them. Definitely worth seeing.

The dudes in the band are pretty nice as well, and I found out that their bassist, John Graham, graduated from La Salle a year in front of me. It was one of those sort of awkward moments upon that revelation, where we both said "did you go to La Salle?" at the same time.

Millcreek itself is a good place, with a stage that is disproportionately small to the rest of the room. Apparently they also have DJ nights there, and one was immediately following the show. Since The Tressels were the closers, the DJ was setting up in another corner, and people were beginning to filter in. Such a different crowd, it was odd. I can't see the place turning into a hoppin club, a la Cinderella's pumpkin, at midnight. but word is that it's a regular thing. Odd.Mark and Mike Ionescu, from John Carroll days, opened a business in Baltimore. I remember Mark talking to me about it two years ago, and it's finally coming out. Basically, they're putting information kiosks at notable places around the city so people can use them to find stuff to do. Pretty simple, right? They also give printable directions and do a ton of other stuff. Definitely a good idea, plus they're developing an online presence too, which will help.

This article depresses me. Not because I enjoy reading the paper (I currently read it online daily anyway), but because if the NY Times goes online only, where will I get my daily crossword? Seriously this is a big deal for me, and other people I'm sure.

This dude is an idiot. An honest man of his word, but an idiot none the less. These are the kinds of bets one should not make, I assure you.

The most fitting eulogy to Anna Nicole. Don't read if you're offended by dirty humor. Otherwise, click on through.

The World Press photo competition winners gallery is filled with all sorts of depressing shots. Seriously, not a single one is uplifting. What a world.

I cracked 10,000 visitors to this blog on Thursday. I will celebrate this milestone by doing nothing in particular, because certainly 8,000 of those were me (kidding. I have a cookie that blocks my loads from being counted.)

Carnival of Bauer - Noon-1:00 PM

2007-02-08T11:00:00.000-05:00

Hour seven was a little slow, but Jack started to get back on the wagon with a respectable kill. Papa Bauer had two, but come on, we just found out the guy is the man behind the man, he's tougher than we thought. With a two hour double feature next week, hour seven was all the more important to set up the imminent bloodbath. Don't think the Carnival of Bauer contributors didn't notice.

This week's Carnival includes a lot of great entries, so let's jump right in... and don't forget to head over to Blogs4Bauer when you're finished for all the week-long 24 musings you can handle. Note: a few people were generous with their contributions and submitted more than once. Double contributors are linked within the same post.

- Jack handles the recent Boston Crisis
Let's start right off with a mash up video. Space Ghost meets Aqua Teen meets 24. Hilarious. If there's anyone smarter than the CTU servers, it's Frylock.

- Reviews and More - 24 6x07
Checking in for the first time, J.E. of Reviews and More totally called Morris' involvement, and like many of us, wishes for more action scenes. Don't worry, they're coming...

- CTU Interrogator Rick Burke's Online Dating Profile
The Jack Sack did some digging, and look what they uncovered... Creepily enough I'm sure if you looked hard enough on match.com you'd find something like this. And if you're into the whole satire bit, they've also got a hilarious take off on the McLaughlin Group.

- Magic Lamp - 12 pm to 1 pm Synopsis
Steve over at Magic lamp offers such brilliant lines as "Jack and his father are about to sing “Unchained Melody” in the back of a van." Hilarious summary of hour 7.

- Morning Maniac Music
Morning Maniac Dave says 24 is the Best Male Soap Opera Ever. Don't let Jack catch you calling the episodes "my stories."

- Bauer Prediction: No Nuke for You (yet)
Media Shuffle isn't too far off the mark here. Official Pardons don't come that easily on 24 though, right? ::Cough:: Right? Oh, and Edgar Stiles apparently smuggled himself into Vegas. Must have been a big box...

- Hugs, Not Drugs: The Softer Side of Jack...
Ched at Says Simpleton gives us a quick look into Jack's new torture methods. Great aside at the end, too.

- The following takes place...
Gennifer of Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket? offers up a few notable quotes and comments. Short and sweet.

- It's only the world's most intricate and flawlessly executed conspiracy ever, ever
Cake or Death's JWookie tidily unwinds the Bauer's and their wacky, unbelievably complex plots to rule the world! Okay, maybe it's not so tidy, but neither is the conspiracy. It's funny though, so go now.

- The Sins of the Father
Doug at Below the Beltway focuses in on the hours events, and gives a quick re-cap of the family goings-on, and follows up with some short commentary on a pro-24 Wall Street Journal article.

- Next week on 24, the Bauers go to therapy
PantryGirl has some fantastic comments about the father son relationship, but it seems what she's most interested in is interrogation specialist Ricky. Check it out for specifics, this here's a PG-13 blog (most of the time).

- Jack Loses It
King Tom still can't figure out if it's Gray, Graham or Graeme, but decides it doesn't matter anymore amongst other random commentary from day 7.

- And Then There Were Two?
If you missed any details from last Monday's hour, Emperor Misha I of Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler has your back. Great read, not only because it's funny but because there's some good insight as well.

- The Rookie: CTU
Jeremy Valdez, playing rookie agent Jason Blaine, seems to channel a young Tony Almeida in the The Rookie mini-series. The resemblance is uncanny, down to helping the lady with her dog. Go watch, they're short.

AND last but certainly not least,

- Rickey Presents: Your Weekly"24" Fix
The Immortal Ricky Henderson, next week's Carnival of Bauer host, tides us over until next Monday at **8 PM with the weekly 24 wrap-up. "Meanwhile, somewhere, after watching Wayne's latest speech on TV and realizing that despite being an evil megalomaniac hellbent on trampling the Constitution, he'd still do a better job than Wayne Palmer, Charles Logan slowly rises from the couch to freshen his drink." Amazing.

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That's all for this week. Some good entries, some great entries, and some entries that seem to have been channeled through some sort of lucidity brain filter. Enjoy!

These make me feel cold just looking at them

2007-02-08T01:23:00.000-05:00

1. Traffic on 76 and the beginnings of West Philly. I was hoping to get some pictures of the city skyline as the sun set, but it had gone down too much when I arrived, and the brilliant glow had faded.

2. South St. Bridge iron work. Soon to be replaced.

3. Through the iron grating.

4. Train tracks along the Schuylkill. I like this shot, but regret putting the camera away so soon. A train came toward the bridge from the horizon moments later, and would have made for a good shot. It was cold though, so I wasn't staying out there too long.

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It was damn cold today, too cold to be outside really. I have been meaning to take some pictures from the South St. Bridge for some time now, as I pass over it daily on the way to and from work. I don't generally bring the camera with me, but I happened to have it today. It was a nice, clear evening, the post-snow sort that it bitterly cold but still bright. Looking at these pictures, I feel cold.

It seems that the cold either keeps people inside or brings the crazies out. Every day this week, a lady who I presume to be homeless or transient has been sitting in front of Bucks County Coffee. From the time I get to work in the morning to the time I leave, she's been parked on the metal patio furniture.

Not only does she sit there, but she certainly makes her presence known.

"FUCK it's cold" or, alternately, "It's FUCKING cold" she screams intermittently. She demands money or cigarettes from every single person who passes. I'm not exaggerating when I say every person. Then, if you either ignore her or tell her no, she yells "You cheap BASTARD" or "Come on, have some mercy."

I'm not sure how to feel about her. On one hand, it is cold out, and it would suck to be sitting outside. On the other, I don't generally give money to people on the street like that. Not to stereotype, but the one time she was close to me to enough to be intrusive, she reeked of whiskey. This was in the morning. I'm not sure if it was residual or fresh.

The only time I have really given something to someone on the street was in front of Gwen's old apartment. I was very early this fall before moving to Fitzwater St. I was getting out of my car, and saw a man on the steps directly next to my spot. It was the first night of the year with a chill in the air, and the man was sitting up, holding his hands around his knees to keep warm. He didn't ask me for money or anything, but he looked cold. I gave him the army surplus blanket from my trunk which I had gotten for free at camp last summer.

How I saw that man and how I see this woman is different, though their situations may be similar. She sits and yells at people. I don't mean to come off as entitled or snide, but isn't that a very unproductive way to go about things? I wonder where she goes at night. Certainly she doesn't stay outside all the time. There must be a shelter where she sleeps or something. It's been so unrelentingly cold lately that staying outside 24 hours a day would lead to hypothermia no matter what you are wearing.

Look, winter's here. Who knew?

2007-02-07T16:45:00.000-05:00

The bike ride to work this morning was adventurous. The snow that fell last night was the type that becomes denser underfoot (or tire), and thus much more treacherous to navigate. So I took it slow and made sure to stay in a relatively straight line, ensuring that my tires wouldn't slip out from under me.

The guy who blew by me on his mountain bike didn't have the same ideas about snow, apparently. I guess someone neglected to inform him that a full suspension Fuji tricked out with splatter guards and snow tires doesn't do too much good when you ride like an asshole.

As I was approaching 20th street on Fitzwater, I heard furious pedaling behind me, and was quickly overtaken by someone wearing shorts and spandex-style leggings underneath, messenger style. I was riding in the road exposed by car tires, but this guy was blowing down the middle of the road. Okay, whatever, I thought. Then in one of those moments that seems to hang around in your consciousness for a few moments as it's happening, he tried to take the corner onto 20th. I say tried because his tires, replete with metal nubs for snow-riding, gave way underneath of him just like you see happen to motorcycle racers. He slammed into the car on the other side of the road with a yelp.

As I rolled up slowly, I watched him collect himself off of the ground.

"Pretty sweet huh?" He said.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, it happened last time it snowed too." he said. "I think I need new tires."

Personally I don't think he needs new tires. I think he needs to not psyche himself into a race with the traffic on his bike in the snow. Just an opinion.

I saw an unfortunate soul do the same thing when I got closer to Penn, although they were trying to navigate down a short flight of stairs. Probably equally as stupid, considering the steps were covered in snow. What is wrong with people?

Prior to seeing the biker at 20th, I saw Drew on his way to work this morning. It reminded me of college, seeing someone on the Union patio or in Backstage or whatever. Except Drew and I were on the street and headed in opposite directions. And we didn't discuss MVP, which was another hallmark of my college career.

Now that college IS indeed over, I've been paying my student loans regularly every month. Today I looked at the loan details and found out that I won't be finished paying that off until I'm 37. How utterly depressing is that? By the end of it I will have paid $6,272.85 more than the original loan. Again, depressing. This is why I need a "real" job so I can start paying more on that loan, finish sooner and pay less interest. Or I could win the Sallie May Sweepstakes and it'd be all paid up. Now THAT would be sweet.

When you start watching the Gilmore Girls and wake up to Veronica Mars on TV, you KNOW something's wrong. I don't know what got in to me last night, but I was in bed and passed out by 10:30. I even fell asleep during the end of Gilmore Girls, which was at like 8:40 or so. Ridiculous. I was still tired when I got up this morning at 8:30, so I think what my body is trying to tell me is get more sleep. Just a hunch.

This week is flying by so far, and I'm not really sure why. Generally by the time Wednesday night comes around, I feel like I'm running in to a wall. Maybe the anticipation at the return of Lost has been holding my head above water this week. By now Evangeline Lily has found somewhere to live, and we can settle in for 16 new episodes. It starts at 10, so I hope I can make it through the entire episode. Kidding. Sort of...

I don't have much to say today, since I haven't done anything but sleep and work. I took a picture of flags on Sansom St. Ate some lunch. Tried and failed to devise some get rich quick schemes. Failed. Obviously. It's been a productive day.

Hendrix on vinyl... sweet dude.

2007-02-06T13:11:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I was back in Maryland for a night to help my mom do some stuff around the house, sanding the walls upstairs to prep for painting, taking things to the dump and recycling center, etc. She's moving in April, so I'm going to give her a hand doing some stuff like that. Come to find out she's planning on tossing her stereo and record collection. Being the music aficionado that I am, I couldn't let that happen. There's some great stuff in there, including a good deal of original Beatles records, Simon and Garfunkel, Jim Croce, Donovan, etc. So, I round up all the records, unplug the stereo, and as you can see from above it now resides in the middle of my living room. I came home yesterday and Gwen had been listening to Lionel Ritchie. No joke.

While I was home, I tore a hole in the crotch of my jeans large enough to indicate to me that it was time to go shopping. I hate shopping, and I especially hate shopping in the mall. I've been going to the same department store to get jeans for the last 6 years; same brand, same style, same size. In and out in less than 5 minutes, no problem. I don't have to spend any extraneous time there because I know what I want in what size, and I know where it is on the shelf.

Only this time I go in to find that the jeans I like aren't being made anymore.

Needless to say I'm upset by this. I am not a normally proportioned male according to the sizing pattern that most pants comply with. I'm not terribly tall, but I'm not overly skinny either, and pants are simply just not cut to fit me correctly. So anyhow the search begins. Try on a couple pairs at a couple different stores, but nothing works. I return home angry at the entire clothing industry.

Two days later I'm out again and I decided to try the more 'upscale' city places. I found out through some interwebing that Urban Outfitters sells Levi's (my preferred brand) so I stopped in after work. Come to find out they only sell Levi's for rail thin folks and lanky hipsters. Didn't see THAT coming at all, no. The ones they sold that did fit me were of the pre-faded, pre-ripped worn in variety. Pardon me for thinking that as the purchaser of jeans, that should be my job.

So I head to American Apparel, where they don't even sell jeans. They do sell lots of exercise clothing, apparently. Finally I make my way to Gap.

Now I've always had a liking for Gap due to their lack of branded clothing and gratuitous logo usage. Also, their wall of jeans in the back looked very promising. I knew success was imminent when the first size I saw was a 38x30. For those not familiar with men's sizing, this is like finding a drunk Jessica Alba chugging syrup at Waffle House alone at 5am. Not happening. Generally sizes above 32 waist will jump to a 32 inseam or more, and escalate from there.

I managed to find a a pair of jeans not only in my size, but also without any of the little rips, tears, fades or imperfections that would have cost me more money anyway. I bought two pairs. Hey, when one gets a hole, I've got another pair waiting in the wings now. A year an a half ago I could have bought several pairs of the jeans I like, but I resisted. "I can always come back and get another pair, and since I wear one pair at a time until they're worn to crap, why bother?" I reasoned with myself. That said, with the purchase of two pairs of jeans on this go-round, I don't think I'll be in the market for jeans for at least another 2 years. Maybe by that time the CO2 levels in the atmosphere will have caused global warming to alleviate the world of its need for jeans. That will be a sad day indeed.*

If anyone is interested on Thursday The Tressels are playing a free show at the Millcreek Tavern at 8:30ish. These guys are locals and had one of the best CD's I heard in all of 2006. I've been told they're better live than on CD (most bands are), so I'm definitely going to head over. Drop me a line if you're gonna go as well. I plan on riding my bike there and drinking just enough that I'm not terribly cold on the bike ride back. Their Late Nite Drink Special: every night 9 to 11pm $2.50 domestic bottles, $2.50 domestic pints, $2.50 well drinks and $6 domestic pitchers. I'm sold. I can go and get...two beers. Better make them good ones.

It's Tuesday, which means Gilmore Girls is on tonight. I am not going to try and defend my personal adoration for the show in a long winded manner. I am only going to say that I like it because I enjoy the the witty banter between the characters. Knowing that Norlen likes it too helps me to justify my love for the show to myself, as well. I need re-assurance from others in all things all the time.**

For the benefit of Seth and those interested, I leave you with a picture of the Holiday Bush, now lost forever to the Penn disposal facilities. The string of lights is still in my desk drawer, however.
* This post wins for the most gratuitous usage of the word jeans in this blog to date.
** Note: heavy sarcasm on the reassurance thing.

Someone get Jack a tissue... he'll need it to wipe up all the blood

2007-02-06T02:39:00.001-05:00

Tonight’s show was…interesting. Another slow-ish episode action wise, although there is definitely the promise of much, much more to come, and shortly. I didn’t see Papa Bauer having double the kills of Jack ‘baby bear’ Bauer, but that’s how it transpired.

The big news is that there WAS a kill in the first place, after two straight weeks of ‘plot development.’ Jack gets one, but freaking Farmer Hogget gets the other. Dude’s wiry and tough from years of hard farm work, and I suppose he’s lost all sense of compassion since Babe died…

Moving on to a more in-depth sort of observation, I’ve noticed more in this season and in particular the most recent episode, that the previous demeanors and character traits have shifted a bit. The norms of the first 5 days are being challenged, and it’s somewhat disconcerting. I think after 5 days of stagnant character development, though, the writers had to start giving us something more to work with other than the one-sided lineup.

The normally unflappable Chloe (when it comes to doing her job at least) is visibly shaken by the day thus far, and when the news of Morris’ brother comes in, she insists on telling him immediately. Milo "Rico Suave" Pressman tries convincing her otherwise, but she resists. Maybe it’s that she’s with Morris, but I don’t know. She does convince him to stay on, showing she still has that dedication despite showing a bit of a softer side.

She’s been on both ends of similar situations before and has worked things out differently, so it was a change.

The stalwart Karen Hayes backs down seemingly without much hesitation when confronted by Tom Lennox. I don’t think that her relationship with Bill Buchanan is really the cause, since she’s been generally very job oriented.

Perhaps the biggest change in character is in Jack, who exhibits a genuine emotional side for the first time in the discussion with his father. He’s been shown as upset before (you know, when Teri Bauer died at the end of Day 1), but this feels much more genuine, much more like a break in the Jack we’ve come to understand. The scene when Jack has administered the Sodium Penathol was interesting, in that I wasn’t sure if he was hugging Graem or positioning himself to snap Graem’s neck. He’s more emotional and seemingly unstable than he’s ever been before, and hopefully that leads to him going all Jack Bauer on some folks.

Of all the characters, Buchanan is the only one who still maintains his former status as a no-nonsense business type. When Karen calls him to say she’s resigned from her position, he theorizes that it’s because of Lennox, but then tries to convince her to stay on. No “honey how are you, what are you feeling?” No, Buchanan is all business, and I appreciate that.

Next week things should go back to normal. Killings, fire, explosions and lots of Jack screaming his own name. You know the deal.

--------------------------------

Now, notes from the episode:

- Kim Doppelganger is kind of ho-ish, fueled by money, but she seems ‘aight. I bet she has a hand in freeing Morris. McCarthy wouldn’t even let her go to the snack machine. Come on man, girl’s gotta eat.

- I find it amazing that in these (real) times of all news all the time, I can definitely see a reporter doing what the dude at the beginning is doing and standing on ‘the edge of the safe zone.’ As if that riot zone roadblock would do any good against toxic gasses.

- Wayne Palmer shows some balls for the first time ever about a minute in to the show; mark it down. Tom is such a sniveling, self-serving tool though and chases those newfound balls back into hiding though only moments later. Don’t fret; they drop again at the end.

- Buchanan to Morris: “Recovering this image may be the only way of stopping those nukes” Umm, yeah, how many times have we heard THAT before?

- Papa Bauer to Jack: “What are you going to do to him?” I smiled a toothy grin when he said his. Like, biggest grin since 9:30amish.

- Nice lovers quarrel between Marilyn and Jack. Damn man, she’s still hot for him and he knows it. That last look before she walks out is smoldering with wonton lust. Or, you know, anger. You pick. Not to be crass but hey Jack, she's single again...

- Apparently, interrogation works by asking the same question at an escalating volume and then applying force. Seems a bit silly to me, but I suppose that’s what happens when you only have 7 minutes of airtime to do the questioning. This time it was with 8 CC’s of Sodium Penathol instead of a plastic bag. Technology evolves fast.

- Sidenote, how the HELL did Jack get his voice to echo like that during the interrogation?

- Damnit, the Sandra Palmer obligatory soap opera moment. She really needs to go the hell away. I say it every week, but seriously. She’s freaking annoying. Shut up Sandra, just shut the hell up. The ONLY good thing that comes out of all her hemming and hawing is that Wayne decides Lennox is wrong after all. Didn’t see that coming. ::Yawn::

- Here is my exact note from before the final commercial break: Graem’s still holding back, and now I rather think his father is too. Something, I’m not sure what. When he says, “I need a few minutes,” it’s unclear whether that means alone or with Graem. If it’s with Graem maybe it is to discuss the revised game plan. Or, you know, to kill him for squealing.

- Morris is going to program the bomb to self-destruct or so something all feisty and European, like light up a cigarette and spit at Fayed’s feet.

More next week, after the two hour offering. The preview showed very little in the way of plot detail, so I'm hoping it's amazing. It looked like it from where I was sitting. I could swear I saw something explode, and Jack wave a gun. Nice!

Damnit, it's only Monday and I'm already watching the clock

2007-02-05T15:23:00.000-05:00

Not that I'm ungrateful for the *genuine concern of others, but sniffling around other people is like ringing Pavlov's bell. They just want to offer you advice and sympathy; I feel fine, I just happen to be congested. This occurs every year, the perpetual congestion, sneezing and general misery of sinus troubles. I've tried Claritin and assorted other medications, it's just non-stop all the time. I hate when people try to make small talk with me like 'oh, you sound sick, you okay?' I always feel like saying 'you've been asking me if I'm sick for a month now, the answer hasn't changed. If you see me lying on the floor shivering and feverish, feel free to inquire again.' This is a very feasible situation too, given that my office is about 57 degrees.

I've taken several Tylenol cold and sinus pills today and haven't felt any less congested. I love cold weather, but I have having sinus trouble from the time it gets to be winter until late in the spring every year. What I'm getting at is that I hate being a loud mouth breather during that time. It's annoying. There is a small joy in this situation though, because this morning I stumbled on my office's tissue cache. They're not covered with aloe, vitamins and assorted lotions, but they're damn sure better than paper towels, napkins, or toilet paper.

Over the weekend the groundhog didn't see its shadow, so spring will come early. Huh? That means there will be a cumulative total of 6 days of winter. From Wikipedia:

Punxsutawney Phil fans say that there is only one Phil (all the other groundhog weathermen are impostors), and that he has made weather prognostications for 121 years as of 2007. They say that every summer, Phil is fed a sip of the mysterious Groundhog Punch, which magically lengthens his life for seven years. This is done by Inner Circle members. According to the Groundhog Club, Phil, after making the prediction, speaks to the Club President in "Groundhogese", which only the Inner Circle appear to understand, and then his prediction is translated for the entire world.

What a strange world it is. Second opinions from "imposters" found here.

24 is back for hour seven tonight. I'm excited. I hope tonight is the breakthrough action night of the show, which has been slow in that regard to this point. Also, Lost returns this week, finally. I've almost forgotten what was going on this season. I bet the first episode back is going to be really good as well. New Gilmore Girls on Tuesday. Something on Thursday; oh well, it's too far off to remember or care. What a busy week I have...

Prince's halftime show was about the best thing I watched on TV last night. The man is ageless, and yet he still puts on an amazing spectacle of a show. I almost expected it to be in his contract stipulations that, if it rains, the rain must be dyed purple via cloud seeding. The shadowed thrusting and fake white doves were a nice touch.

Best Commercial of the Night: Emerald Nuts. It doesn't get much funnier than Robert Goulet crawling on the ceiling. Can't say I support the eating of nuts seeing as how they make me die, but still. The Emerald Nuts website is now entirely dedicated to Goulet. It's funny, he pops up randomly like the guy in Mortal Kombat. Toast-y!

This blog has reached a new level of self-indulgence, as I don't ever post about anything relevant anymore, just about myself and my interests. I guess I'm okay with that, but I still feel kind of bad that I have nothing interesting to say...ever. I don't plan on changing that modus operandi either, just figured I would point it out. I would also like to point out that I finished the crossword today in under 5 minutes. It's only Monday but I'm still happy about that.

Lily, formerly of Law School Virgin, has moved to twentysomethingtantrum. She's a good, amusing writer, and is apparently looking to get into journalism. You should check it out, she runs a good blog.

* this is sarcasm. I dislike people.

Link rodeo. Tally Ho!

2007-02-03T02:21:00.000-05:00

In honor of this linkage galore post, I wanted to get a coffee from this store. Because of the name, I swear. But I can't; it's in Washington state. From their website: "what makes us most happy is when our customers enjoy both our products and our service." Umm, okay. What sorts of services might those be...

I looked it up, prostitution is not legal. I guess they only serve coffee then...pity. I can't imagine trying to work all day in what these girls are wearing. I can't imagine having to work around hot espresso, coffee, and other such things without, you know, pants on. Not happening.

Apparently this is a growing trend among Seattle coffee shops, who have to find a new gimmick to compete in the huge market out there. Unfortunately, the same can not be said for Philadelphia. I can only imagine how much business a place like this would rake in on a given day in Center City.

- Peter Yang may be famous, but he has some really neat pictures. I like his very straightforward, simple style. It really lets his subjects look natural instead of forced into some interesting pose. This natural style is interesting in and of itself.

- James or Seth may actually understand the how and why of this website; I just like how it looks. I'm a visual learner, if I learn at all. Feel free to (try to) explain it in a comment if you feel so inclined.

- I don't know where this is taking place, but these people are insane. Moltov cocktails don't match well against guns. Common sense.

- Funny, and I'd like to try it for a minute, but very not practical.

- Definitely a website I will be coming back to regularly. Kind of like Post Secret only they update daily. And they're found items. Okay it's not like Post Secret at all. Whatever.

- Helen Hunt hasn't aged a day since that photo was taken. No seriously. Also, Demi Moore is a man.

- Who...does...Firefox...work...for? You, with some ways to reduce memory usage. I'm a geek for this sort of stuff.

- Kids these days.

- Crazy dangerous roads. No joke, I wouldn't want to drive here for money.

- This guy either had hemp clothing at one point or is considering it now. Or, he's just decided to be an asshole in the middle of the street. I support the latter.

Low-res photo blogs make me really angry. If you're going to post photos as the primary reason to go to your site in the first place, at least make them larger than a post it note.

Started writing for Phillyist. Check it out. It's updated all the time.

I installed a Firefox extension that tells you how many pages you've loaded. It doesn't track history or anything else other than loads. It resets at 1,000,000. Wonder how long it'll take me to get there. My bet is a few months.

I'm not going to predict the Super Bowl or talk about it any more, other than a few cursory sentences on Monday perhaps. I'm working on Sunday until 4, and then coming home and watching the game with pure disinterest. I feel it is my duty as an American male to watch it, though. Go Bears!

And lastly, this:

We flip the bird while smoking...

2007-02-01T17:41:00.000-05:00

Best news story of the year. If you don't know the deal already read it and then come back. I'll wait.

But yeah, how good is this $300 advertising campaign doing now? It's on every news station and in every paper. It's all over pretty much every blog...including this one. I read about it in the Philly Metro this morning and nearly spilt my coffee laughing.

Turner Broadcasting won't pitch in for their court cost? Bollocks! That's ridiculous, they're going to get so many people tuning in tonight for ATHF just to see what the hell it's all about. I know I'm planning on it; I hope they run an episode with these two glyphs.

James and Gregg both touched on it, so check out their blogs for better commentary. James lives in Boston and experienced the widespread panic firsthand. I bet it was fun. He should have done some looting, too. You know, in addition to raiding the Cumbies for staples like bread and milk.

Funny video from Boston about the whole thing here. Watch as this reporter tries to take herself seriously. Oh, and watching the lawyer say they were "nervous" was pure comedic gold. These two are pretty much the ballsiest dudes out there right now.

I don't really want to drink coffee made by the same guy who made Eraserhead. Just sayin...

Imagine this kids horror if he has to go to court and they present the list of truly awful things he downloaded when he was 11. I can't imagine having to face a judge and say, in honesty, that I did indeed download several Korn songs for my personal use.

I am buying this for some folks I know. They'll know why. Shit's crazy, right?

Carnival of Bauer: rooting out CTU moles since way back

2007-02-01T15:10:00.000-05:00

I frequent the Blogs4Bauer site on a more than regular basis, and enjoy the weekly wrap up of 24-related postings in their Carnival of Bauer.

Next week, on Thursday Feb. 8, the carnival will be posted here for the good of the blogosphere (damn to I hate that word.)

Check back in for the party, or whenever really. No Hors d'œuvres and no drinks on the house (apologies), but quite possibly more 24 related posts than you can handle.

If you wanna get in on the fun, here's how:

1) Email your post to blogs4bauer@gmail.com with "Carnival of Bauer" in the subject, or
2) Use the Carnival submission form, linked via the button below.

For the most recent Carnival, check out The Jack Sack. It's not as dirty as it sounds. It's a bag, people. For his gun. And cell phone. You know, when they actually leave his hands.

Holla!

2007-01-31T13:45:00.000-05:00

Which awkward picture of a rapper and political personality do you find more enticing to caption in a humorous manner?

Prince Charles and Jay Z, or

Barak Obama and Ludacris?

Jay Z and Charles seem to be having more fun (they also look like cats do when they're fighting mid-air), but Ludacris and Obama definitely look like they're holding it down. I have no context for either picture, but they've been on my hard drive for a while now and I figured I'd put the question out there. I'm partial to picture #1 myself, simply because Jay Z upstaged Charles suit-wise. No doubt that Charles looks positively frumpy next to Jay.

In other funny political goings on, watch this video. It's funny, but scary at the same time. These are basic questions being posed here, to a population of people able to vote. Granted, I'm sure this took a few hours to film, and that these are but a small portion of the people interviewed, but still... A few choice quotes:

Jogger: I'm a little bit mixed up over the Palestinians and the Israelis... Which one is throwing the rocks?

and later:

Interviewer: Which state does KFC come from?
Jogger: I don't know! I really don't know?
Interviewer: Do you know what KFC stands for?
Jogger: Kentucky Fried Chicken, right?

Of course, this is coming from the SAME GUY! Wow.

Interviewer: What is Al-Qaeda
Rando guy: A group in Israel that does suicide bombs and stuff...And the president of it is Yasser Arafat...Everybody knows that!

The eternal writers debate.

If you don't like clowns, this is not the page you want to see. Terrifying.

Between the ages of 12 and 15 is a time when, it seems, kids are looking for something by which to identify themselves. A sport perhaps, or an affinity for video games. This is where the polarization begins in preparation for full bloom into the latter years of high school. People identify themselves as skaters, thugs, jocks and whatnot. It's not a bad thing, and it often carries over a bit in to college.

For me, it was music. I listened to a lot of oldies like Buddy Holly when I first got in to music, but quickly moved on to the likes of Green Day, leading to the Descendents (at left) and to punk in general. I identified myself with that type of music; Bad Religion, NOFX, Minor Threat, Judge, etc. I didn't really listen to much else, because I was in to 'punk' and not that other 'crap.'

Of course I was lying to myself. When other people who also identified themselves by the music they listened to would ask me about my listening habits, I would inevitably rattle off a list of accepted bands, a wise mix of the commonly accepted and the deliciously obscure. I was big into local bands (there's no way I'm going to lay out a list here, but I'll say two words: Sasquatch Genocide) and loved the double take people would do when I told them what I listened to.

The thing was, I always listened to other stuff as well, but never identified myself with it. I mean, what 13 year old kid tells his little punk friends he listens to Simon & Garfunkel and the The Who's Tommy soundtrack? Yeah, not me that's for sure. My house had a collection of records from both my parents, and I used to listen to them regularly; Sly and the Family Stone, The Beatles, Elton John, etc. But I never identified with them, only listened. I used to tune in to country radio too, but again didn't identify with it.

I realized the other day that I'm over that. I just listen to what I like. If I'm in a mood to listen to the distorted catastrophe of Converge, then I do. If I want to hear both discs of Garth Brooks' performance in Central Park, I do. And if I want to listen to Tommy, I go right ahead; maybe even watch the movie, if I feel. I realized this the other day when I was at the bakery and brought in Sylvie Lewis' 'Tango's and Tantrums.' It's not something I would have admitted listening to when I was younger. Come on, a jazzy female singer doesn't really seem like something I'd thoroughly enjoy, and in the past I would have been concerned about the image I was projecting to other people.

Not so much, now. If I like it I'll listen to it, and if someone asks I'll tell them what I think of it. I can only imagine what people my age were saying about bands like Korn and Limp Bizkit back when I was in to them. Probably the same things I say about My Chemical Romance and Panic! at the Disco now...

Okay, now that that's all over, I want this CD. Someone get it for me. Thanks! Seriously though she's a really good singer, kind of a mix between the aforementioned Sylvie Lewis, Regina Spektor and Ani DiFranco. Also the Dresden Dolls, but only a little bit.

OH I heard some great news today. Radiohead is releasing a new album eventually, apparently due out later in the year. But, the new work is described by Thom as similar to OK Computer "but much more terrifying." Sounds good to me, I love OK Computer, and wouldn't mind listening to something even darker.

Stanley Donwood, who does their cover art, is pictured painting during their latest jaunt in the studio. Potential album cover? Here's hoping. Looks like the OK Computer insert in a way.

Fat kids in Britain are rejoicing, and simultaneously mourning their sudden lack of highly caloric options.

And finally, congratulations to Pat Hogan, who made the news out in New Mexico. Literally. His article was on the front of the Farmington Daily Times Travel section. Check it out.

New gig on the docket

2007-01-30T12:45:00.000-05:00

I mentioned in a previous post that I started working a second job, one which does not require me to type anything, or work a piece of machinery more complicated than a microwave. I am now employed on a very part-time basis at the Flying Monkey Patisserie, a bakery right in the middle of Reading Terminal Market. Basically, I wash dishes, ring up customers, make coffee/cookies, put orders in boxes and frost cupcakes. At least, that's what I've done thus far.

While there, apparently, I also exist for a time in the 'vortex of crazy' (owner's words.) Just last Sunday a man came up to the counter at 10:00 AM and inquired as to whether the adjacent beer garden was open for business. I looked over, and being that the lights were off and the entrance was shut, I said that no, it was not open. He asked how soon it would open. I said I didn't think it was open on Sunday. He looked dejected. I repeat: It was 10 AM. On Sunday. What the hell?

On Saturday I was interrupted helping a customer by a man wielding a belligerent Italian accent, demanding cannoli's, which to my knowledge are not made there. The use of the word 'knowledge' when applied to this particular man I should add, is suspect at best.

Last week I was told by an out-of-sorts woman that I frost cupcakes completely wrong. Apparently the best way is to dip my hand in the frosting cup and smear it with my fingers. Right. I know I'm relatively new at this (I can't really count things that happened in high school anymore, can I?) but I'm not going to take advice from a woman whose head was seemingly affixed to a spring when the perfectly competent staff of the bakery already told me how it's done there. Apparently this sort of advice is doled out by many Reading Terminal shoppers on a regular basis.

Anyhow, the job is going well. I work either Friday, Saturday or Sunday, or a combination of two of those days. I really like working there thus far, simply because it's something physical that I can just do, not something I have to conjure up out of my own head like writing. Additionally, there is no clock in the bakery, nor one visible from behind the counter. Since I don't want to mess my phone up, I put it in my jacket pocket while I'm working, so I don't know what time it is. On Sunday I was ploughing through some dishes, and the girl with whom I was working said "can you believe it's one already?" I couldn't; it felt like it was about 10 at the latest. The people I have worked with are really decent, chill folks, but with a caveat: they all work really, really hard.

Example: Sunday I worked from 9-4. The moment the lights came on, there were people wanting things. I hadn't made coffee yet, much less unwrapped things in the case. Or done anything but take off my jacket. This continued until 4. I didn't take a break, though I should have. There was one other girl working, and we didn't get finished everything until 4:30. I literally did not stop working save for 5 minutes when Drew stopped by, and once or twice to use the bathroom.

Near the end of the day, another guy who works there stopped by to grab a coffee while he was in the market. Seeing that were were really swamped trying to finish up the orders, work the counter and clean at the same time, he stuck around and took care of the people wanting stuff from the case for about 15 minutes while we got caught up. He could have just gotten his coffee and been like "I've got to run, good luck," but he didn't. Seems like most of the people I've met who work there are like that.

But that's how it goes. We listened to CD's like U2's 'Joshua Tree,' The Beatles 'Revolver,' Sylvie Lewis 'Tango's and Tantrums,' The Pogues 'Hells Ditch' and several others. There is a host of pretty decent CD's sitting on the counter. And we worked. I packed orders and did dishes, she baked. We both worked the counter. When the day finished, I felt like I'd been at work, like I'd done something. It was nice.

It seems as if Flying Monkey is providing a nice Yang to the Yin of my other desk-oriented, clock watchin' job. Plus there is no Holiday Bush in sight. Thankfully.

Speaking of, the large vase has been removed from my desk, leaving only the small strand of lights in its wake. Pathetic thing doesn't even light up since the batteries on which it runs are dead.

Semantics & Rhetoric or, a 'slow' hour in 24

2007-01-30T00:52:00.000-05:00

So not much has happened in the past two weeks of 24, right? Well, sort of. Not much has happened action-wise. We're in the 'coffee break' period of the show, just before noon when the day is lagging for anyone who got up at 6am. Or, you know, stepped off of a Chinese prison plane at 6am.

There has been a lot of plot development though, lots of talking and facts flying around. As a recovering Communication major, I spent four years of college in classes such as 'Interpersonal Communication,' 'Persuasion' and 'Communication and Rhetorical Theory.' I suppose I gained an appreciation of how people communicate in some way, so I gravitate toward that sort of thing when watching television.

Since there wasn't much going on in the way of killing, interrogation or things exploding, these past two hours of 24 were rife with just the sorts of things I spent college studying. Here is a discussion in a rather lucid format of some observations from hour 6 (11:00 AM - Noon), focusing mostly on what was said rather than what was done.

I'd like to touch on Nadia for a moment.

I speculated at the beginning of the season that she was a mole, or at least not trustworthy. I don't really feel as such anymore; only partly, but more on that later. This is based on a few things.

Her first appearance in hour six finds her griping to Bill Buchanan in confidence about the new security measures. We've seen this sort of thing happen before from pretty much every other CTU mole (Nina Myers/Jamey Farrell, anyone?) When Milo and Morris question her as to why her production is down, she's unwilling to disclose to them the reason why. She doesn't take either of them aside and try to convince them to log her on to the CTU servers. She keeps things to herself and tries as best she can to do her job; she's probably trustworthy.

That said, there's something else going on here. The CTU office has been suspiciously slow, focusing on Chloe getting publicly groped and the Milo/Morris throwdown instead of the normal goings on. Milo logs her in with his own name, setting up some interesting possibilities: Maybe Milo and Nadia are working together to subvert the efforts of CTU. Maybe Nadia is just very clever and earned Milo's trust, knowing (hoping) that he would log her in. Maybe Milo is somehow 'dirty' and will use a backdoor route through her system to go about his ways, knowing that it could be traced back to her computer. Then he could admit he logged her in and receive a slap on the wrist, and she's be in trouble (until Jack wrecks Milo, that is.)

Also, as Milo says, "She's a registered Republican." Maybe this is just a ploy by the writers to try and discredit the idea that 24 is a show that endorses the polarization of ideas when it comes to Muslims. By creating a character who is both Muslim, a Republican AND a good guy, they may be attempting to blur the lines. When Bill says to Nadia 'we'll take care of it when this is all over,' that means it will most certainly become an issue at some point within the next oh, 4 hours.

I am disappointed in a few things that came out in this past show, however. There were a lot of sections of dialogue that I found less than believable, or that were marred by poor acting.

First, there is no way that Wayne Palmer is a convincing President. He has a voice more suited to narrating bedtime tapes than he is to giving an impromptu State of the Union address. There will be a play by the Vice President for control of the government at some point soon, mark it down.

Despite a nicely crafted story from Graem Bauer, and a good cover up for his recent terrorist efforts, I balk at Jack's intuitive interrogation of him. It seems like He's using his Jump to Conclusions mat a little too effectively; I think that for the sake of Graem's wife and because of any shred of a sense of family that Jack may have left, any other person would have given Graem the benefit of the doubt for a little longer than he did. I mean, look at what happened to Paul Raines when HIS name showed up on a watch list. It so happens that he's correct in assuming that Graem is a terrorist, but still. I'm not buying it (entirely.)

The whole storyline with Sandra Palmer, Walid Al-Rezani and the Irish FBI agent who was in Oz is ridiculous. Every time she's on screen I get more and more pissed off. Why hasn't the Irish dude punched her yet? Who knows. Walid is not a convincing terrorist by any means, evidenced by his rather flat "no, I did not take it" refusal when asked about the phone. I don't feel any sympathy for him when he gets kicked. He comes out of it alright, a little bruised but alright. That's what he gets for putting it to that overzealous but well-intentioned co-worker. And for being completely unconvincing in the role, even when he's playing a role within a role in the detention center.

The removal of Karen Hayes wasn't that convincing either. I think it's a very thinly veiled attempt at getting us, the viewers, to thin she's out of the picture. It's too early in the season for that to be so; too early in the season for any twist to be permanent. I don't think she's out by any means; she wasn't maimed, didn't get kidnapped or shot or anything, and that look she gave Wayne during her resignation (the only decent acting from Palmer) says "I will return, and I will own Thomas Lennox more than he's ever been owned."

SO, despite all that, I loved the twist at the end. As a sidenote, what does Jack's mother look like? Graham and Jack sure didn't get their looks (or their bad-ass-itude) from Phillip, that's for sure.

Of COURSE it was Graham all along (or so we assume at this point.) That said, does anyone really think Jack's going to be 'handled' by two priggish looking guys in suits and the powerful but dorky Graham for more than a few minutes? The only reason they'll keep him for as long as they do is because he is waiting for vital information to be spilt for a a new lead.

The Two teasers and one actual ending in the past three episodes have ended with Graham in a chair being interrogated by Jack "it puts the lotion on its skin" Bauer. I'm liking this trend. Jack's got the older sibling syndrome,' wherein he seems torture his younger brother for the fun of it. Then again, Graham has the 'younger brother syndrome,' using words ("Your dead wife") to antagonize Jack.

Can't wait until next week.

---------
Random notes:

- Single shot musket compared to nuclear bomb. Foreshadowing for a potential Bauer weapon? Here's hoping?

- Karen says that Tom is wearing her down. The only one wearing down Karen Hayes is Bill Buchanan. Zing! Wait, eww.

- This work you're 'doing for me' doesn't go unnoticed, says Tom. Hmmmm. He's such a bastard, doing all sorts of background work on Bill Buchanan. Something about this screams "Wayne Palmer is in on Lennox and is working with Karen." You know, or not.

- If this show is in real time, that bag was on Greg's head for over a full minute. He'd be dead. As in not gushing information about Phillip Bauer like a veritable family fountain.

- Smoldering look between Jack and Mrs. Greg Bauer. She wants his business. Audrey's going to cut her. I bet MGB knows something and gives Jack a critical bit of information later in the show. Seems like she's still loyal / very sexually attracted to Jack.

- Still no traffic in LA. WTF.

Charles: Dapper; Camilla: Dowdy; Body in Schuylkill: Dead

2007-01-29T13:06:00.000-05:00

I saw Prince Charles this weekend, albeit inadvertently. You see, I was on my way to get a burrito coming home from work. I'm riding home on Saturday and heading South on Broad St. from Arch. I make the turn around City Hall, and my first thought was 'why the hell is there a huge tent blocking the whole street?' I get around the tent, which is crawling with security, and there's this huge crowd surrounding the Academy of Music.

I asked some dude what was going on and he said that Prince Charles was coming. First thought: I wonder how long it'll take the Philly traffic cops to nail his limo with a ticket because he's got out of state plates. Second thought: okay, I'll bite. It wasn't too cold out, so I figured I'd wait and catch a glimpse of the dude. For reference, I was standing under the lit-up A in the top left of that picture.

I did, and he's just that. A dude. Just a guy. It's not like he threw out gold ducats or anything, he just walked inside; and yet there was an enormous crowd, many of whom came just to see the guy. I happened to be passing by, but I still stuck around. Later I found out that there were other people there I would have been immeasurably more excited to see, including Tom Brokaw and Rod Stewart. You know, people who built their fame on a talent instead of a birthright. Not to say I don't respect Prince Charles for, you know, his position in the world and the immense influence, if not actual power, he holds. Still, Rod Stewart is the business.

Not as exciting as the body Gwen saw getting pulled from the Schuylkill around the same time. Welcome to Phily, Chaz.

A man in my office seems to have purchased a new coat over the weekend. It also seems that he shops in the same department as a girl at my second job, who was wearing the exact same coat (smaller of course) only yesterday.

I was listening to Immortal Technique at 9:20 am. this morning. I realized about 3 songs in to the album that it was much to early for such incisive political commentary in an aggressive hip hop format. He's one very very angry dude. Seriously, I'd love to hear him rap about like, Fruit Loops for a minute. I wish I A. had a copy of the Neutral Milk Hotel CD that was playing at work on Sunday and B. knew what the CD was in the first place. As a sidenote, you know the rest of your day is going to go well when you think to yourself at around 1:00 pm "You know, I'd really like to listen to STYX right about now."

Musically related, Mates of State is one of those bands that's just sickening to listen to, but much like the Ben and Jerry's Cinnamon Cookie ice cream, you don't know when you've had enough until it's too late. That said, Kori of Mates of State is keeping a weekly journal at Babble about what it's like being on tour with her two year old daughter. For those not familiar, her husband is the other half of the band, so the child isn't being abandoned.

It's pretty interesting to read, for the novelty value if nothing else. Also, their daughter was hanging out with Death Cab for Cutie. She's two. There are 18 year-old fat girls who would give their lifesblood to be in her position. Except they can't; because they're fat. Go read it.

Ever have that one song you know you want to hear but can't remember the name of it, and you search your itunes for like, an hour but can't get it? That song is always Lou Reed's "Andy's Chest" for me. Except right now, I can remember the name AND artist. That happens approximately never. I love the line about honey bears in that particular song, but when I'm searching through itunes and listening to the opening five or so seconds of a song, I can't catch the particular rhythm since the opening of "Andy's Chest" is very different from the part of the song I enjoy.

There are more such songs in my life, but, predictably, I can't remember any of them at the moment.

Okay, so the holiday bush is almost completely gone. All that remains is the strand of lights, sitting alone on the desk. HOWEVER, a new desk friend has appeared. It's a giant glass vase, square, with those chintzy little clear rocks in the bottom. Also, it's filled with giant banana-leaf looking things. And water; at least a gallon of it. I wish it had goldfish...

Tony Pierce of LAist has some funny stuff over at the busblog. A choice quote from Sunday:

"i also dont like hillary because shes stiff. stiffness used to mean that you were hiding something.

people didnt used to like al gore because he was stiff. turned out what he was hiding was all his radness. people dont call al gore stiff any more.

when barack wins al gore should be the environment tsar, bill clinton should be nominated for the supreme court, and al sharpton should be the press secretary."

This is the best ad I've ever seen, just for it's simplicity.

Find your city. They all look like they'd hide vomit pretty damn well; I guess that's the point.

Someone recently clicked in to my blog by doing a Google search for "nancy pelosi photoshop nude." I am very uncomfortable with this.

Short Friday rambling

2007-01-25T19:13:00.000-05:00

You know when you buy a Coke and look under the cap to see if you won a free bottle, right? You know that disappointment when you realize it's one of those stupid codes that mean you got like, 5 coke points and with 400 more, you can get a bocce set? Well, someone came up with a really good idea on how to deal with that disappointment. What altruism!

Seth, you're closer than I am. If you happen to see any of these Bad Larry's kicking around, I know it's a different country and all, but do me a favor and throw some in (not on) an envelope and get them to me. I need these in my life.

Sweet video game-playin' hamster. No seriously, watch this. It's funny.

Gregg Gethard is doing a stand up routine tomorrow night at 8 at the Shubin Theater, 4th and Bainbridge, Philadelphia. (Just south of South St.). It's only $5, and apparently there's beer. I'm going.

Really awesome stop-motion video courtesy of Nick Norlen.

Don't know what's going on in this video, but it's from Adult Swim and it's called Shut Up Hooker, so I found it amusing. Also, did you know there's adult swim shows on demand? I didn't, until yesterday. It was like finding gold. In my living room.

This weekend is going to be kind of blah, save for the event above. I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself. I work Saturday and Sunday all day, so I suppose that'll have to suffice. I remember a time when I didn't look forward to Monday, specifically, Monday nights. At 9. I remember Monday being the day I realized that I had a week of homework in front of me and no weekend in sight. Now, I don't really get homework owning to the fact that I'm not in school, so I'm free to look forward to the evenings.

One is enough for me, thanks

2007-01-25T14:30:00.000-05:00

If you're on Second Life, you are a dork. Seriously, who lives their life online; literally? I am impressed that people are on here making money hand over fist, but the whole concept still strikes me as odd. How do these people translate that to real cash? How do you sell something to someone that is completely transient? I realist that you 'own' your character and all of its assets in the game, but what if that server with your information craps out? All gone, and there's nothing that spiky-haired creator Phillip Linden (pictured) can do about it.

I signed up there for a bit to try it out, and it really wasn't that appealing. I like video games, I just like them to have a point. I know some would be incensed that I just called it a game, but that's what it is; a fantasy world wherein the point is to interact with each other and function as you would in the world.

I started out with an avatar, nude on an island. At some point I must have clicked, in the myriad of boxes and text presented to me, that my character should be female. That's how I dropped out of the air anyway. I couldn't figure out how to change my character to male, so I just made her in to a really butch female. Oh well.

Walked around a bit, tested out the whole flying thing, and got bored pretty quickly. I started looking for an ax or blunt garden tool with which to 'interact with the other players.' I realize this is not the point of the game, but come on. If I wanted to take the cat to the vet, go to the grocery store etc., I would do that in the real world, not some fake computer world. That would just mean I have to do it twice, since I have to do that stuff anyway. I couldn't t find anything to use, and I doubt I would be able to if I did. I exited the program, uninstalled it, and deleted my account. No more for me, I'll just stick with what I've got.

It's all very strange. I use a computer all day at work, and I can't imagine going home to sit at my computer all night too, 'interacting' with people and generally doing nothing of substance. The fact that there is an entire complex economy and social structure astounds me. Now what's worse, World of Warcraft or Second Life? I'll go with WoW myself, but by the same margin as t

A funny parody of the second life website is here. Apparently, Linden Labs gave them the nod for this since it's obviously a joke. I can appreciate when someone has a good sense of humor about that sort of thing.

Rachel Ray is talking some shit on Oprah. Hey, Rachel is #81 on the Forbes top 100 list of richest celebrities. Opera. Yeah, she's #3, right there behind Tom Cruise and The Rolling Stones. I like Rachel, but seriously. She needs to chill. Or stop drinking.

Speaking of Chef's, Marcel from Top Chef got busted upside the head by a bottle in a nightclub. Drew's happy. Marcel, not so much. I'm amazed his huge hair didn't cushion the blow a la High School High. I mean, it's like a foot in the air and slathered in product. Remember that part of the movie, where the baseball bat gets stuck in the dude's afro? Or where they're stapling condoms to guide to safe sex leaflets. Hilarious.

I don't know how to feel about this. Apparently the woman was trying to win a Nintendo Wii for her kids and died from an overdose of water. That's not really something you see coming a mile away, you know? Maybe she should have done some light jogging beforehand, get dehydrated a little bit, that say she'd be able to consume more water without diluting her system. In other news I am a horrible person for rationalizing this.

The Christmas bush is gone. All that remains is the large vase in which it sat and a short string of lights that no longer works. Time for an Easter Tree!

The days when I don't do the crossword puzzle, I always feel like something is missing or off. That's a good addiction though. I usually start on the puzzle while my computer boots up and while I am having my coffee, sort of like a mental warm-up to the day.

On Thursdays, if there is a posting of mine listed at Blogs4Bauer, traffic to this blog triples. People just go to the post listed there, don't really read beyond that I don't think, but it's still interesting. Coincidentally in the Carnival of Bauer this week, I'm listed first. I think it's just because I sent my entry in about 25 minutes after the show ended.

I congratulate the Democrat majority...

2007-01-24T13:00:00.000-05:00

More amazing than the State of Iraq, err, the Union speech last night, which I'll get to in a moment, is this shark. The thing is, apparently, ancient as shit, some living fossil or something. Watch it swimming here. Article here. Looks like something mid-level boss from Eco the Dolphin.

You know it's a good day when sharks are infinitely more exciting than anything else going on in the world.

Okay, when I said yesterday that I don't really follow politics, I may have lied just a bit. I had forgotten, as I was typing, that the State of the Union address was dutifully marked on my Google calendar for viewing.

So, here are a few notes from the speech. None of it really has to do with the content as I am a very superficial person at times.

- Why are people standing and clapping at least once every minute. I want to yell "sit down, sit the fuck down" a la Lewis Black. Seriously, he's reading a speech, not making it up on the spot. He didn't even write the damn thing, so just sit down and listen?

- Hilary Clinton looks like an overly smug mutt. Either that or she just smelled some pungent farts. Ever seen her up close? She's enormous.

- Obama seems... stiff. Like he's concerned about what the public thinks of him or something. Hmmm.

- What was McCain winking at just there? I bet it was Nancy Pelosi. That wink definitely said "gotcha, biatch. In two years I'll be in ur senate, veto'n ur lawz."

- Bush wants to change the codes for health care, making health insurance more accessible. Even my poor ass appreciates that. Thanks, dude! Not like it'll happen anytime soon...

- John Kerry still looked more than pissed. He's only clapping because there are cameras lurking about. Hilary isn't as up on her showmanship. She just sat there smelling farts all night.

- First mention of terrorists was in the section about securing the borders. I threw up in my mouth a little bit. I also chuckled when he said the word smuggler. What I wouldn't give to hear him say 'Turd Burglar' several times.

- Where'd Dick Cheney's hand? I can't see it at all. Oh, right, he's using it to manipulate the mouth and blinky-blink levers in Bush's back.

- Condi looked at one point like she was dropping a deuce. She didn't seem too concerned over her distinct lack of privacy, however. Presidential material? Toilet paper?

- Bush says the names of Iraqi locations like he's recounting an experience on Legends of the Hidden Temple. Except there was nobody there to haul his ass away in the Temple of the Golden Monkey when he screwed it up.

- Watching Nancy Pelosi smile and clap because she was directly behind the president seemed like watching one of those old westerns where the guy in the saloon dances because his feet are being shot at.

- Global Warming is real! He admitted it! Wow, and it only took 6 years.

Number of times I giggled when he said 'terrorism' or terrorists': ~~I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X,~~ I lost count (actual count: 22,. I read the transcript myself this morning.)

I wish that people didn't put on a show for the camera. I wouldn't be offended if people in the audience who didn't agree with what he was saying didn't stand and clap. Whatever, they don't agree. It's like watching prairie dogs pop out of their holes.

This is the most horrifying idea for a television show ever. The prize for the winner may even be more so. The show's finale is going to be under two minutes I assure you. I bet it airs on Fox.

In other less relevant Jenna Jameson news, her boyfriend Tito Ortiz, UFC shit-kicker extraordinaire, has a dome that appears to be cast from the same mold as Mr. Potato head. Except Mr. Ortiz's bucket of parts includes only fingerless gloves and gym shorts.

I think a funny photoshop is in order here...

Keep reading, it's not all about sports, I swear

2007-01-23T13:36:00.000-05:00

I don't think I have ever heard someone say of Steve Blake that he's "too quick, too fast" for defenders. I definitely chuckled at that one. Not saying he's slow, but he doesn't have the kind of speed that should make sports commentators wet their pants with glee.

And that is why, in some way, I think I'm paying more attention to the NBA this season than I am to college basketball. It's to the point where I actually know more NBA players now than NCAA kids. The Chicago Bulls, for example, have several players I watched when they were in college. My favorite college baller and former Jayhawk Kirk Hinrich lost to the Terps in the 2002 NCAA Final Four. I've actively rooted against former Duke players Chris Duhon and Luol Deng, reluctantly rooted for UConn star Ben Gordon, and apathetically watched Tyrus Thomas tear it up but ultimately lose out in last year's tournament.

I am slowly losing interest in the college game, true, but I'm still interested to see if Jermaine Thomas, who graduated from La Salle last year, can make it to the NBA. I think if he can, he'll be a decent player. He's playing in Hungary at the moment I believe, but he always had really good eyes for what was going on on the court, and generally didn't make stupid turnovers. Also, I wonder if Steve Smith is going to turn in to the player people said he would. Maybe he just needs more minutes.

Porn is going High Def. Interesting... “The biggest problem is razor burn,” said Stormy Daniels. ::Shudder::

Okay, hold the fucking phone. Two of the women in my office were talking today about the movie Office Space. My head nearly exploded from the irony. One of them has not seen it, so the other was quoting lines, and all I could do was sit at my desk and laugh. Seriously. Oh then they talked about Rush Hour for a full half hour, with several other people being snowballed into the conversation.

"Lou have you seen Rush hour?" came the question about 10 minutes in to their Chris Tucker Pow Wow.

"No," I lied, and put my headphones in.

On the topic of the office (the bland affair at which I work, not the wildly popular television show), pictures of the Holiday Bush are forthcoming. I can't believe it's still sitting on my desk. I mean, it was even taken away and dismantled at some point. But it's back, with the lights on it and everything, drying up slowly. How resilient is this freaking thing?

When you Google the names of people that work in your office and find pictures of them when they were 13 years old looking all sullen and awkward, is it okay to anonymously post them by the water cooler? I say yes.

Hilary is in. Well, not yet, but trying to get there. I don't particularly like her or Obama. Or John Edwards. This should be interesting.

When I write things like the short paragraph above, I sometimes feel guilty that I am not as politically conscious as I would like to be, and probably should be. I follow the news, but I don't delve in to politics that much. I just don't like keeping up with all the rhetoric and nonsense that accompanies campaigns and all that. I'll vote for someone who I feel has proven themselves to be an effective politician over a span of time, not someone with a good campaign. That's why I don't feel that Obama, for example, would make a good president. Not yet anyway. He's been in the Senate for only a single term, the final two of which will be spent campaigning for President. I'd sooner vote in Hilary, but that's another issue altogether.

I had a burrito last night. It was delicious, but now all I can think about eating are burritos.

The following takes place betweenholycraphisBROTHER?

2007-01-23T00:24:00.000-05:00

Why Day six is the best day of 24 yet; a succinct reasoning, followed by some commentary. First:

1. Five hours gone. Not only do I not know who the real enemy is, I don't have any clue who to trust or where the plot is going quite yet.

2. The single biggest plot twist ever occurred and it isn't even noon yet. Who knows what could happen by the time June rolls around.

This season, I'm all confused because it's all in past tense. Not in the sense of time, but there's no small plot foiled by Jack leading up to a grander-scaled plot. The terrorists attacked before Jack was even out of China. It's happening already and it's damage control plus plot foiling, which is uncharted territory...

...And I love it. It's new, and allows for a more emotional side to the plot (one emotion being, thankfully, a desire for revenge.)

Graham - "Hey, we used to play this game as kids"
Jack - "Just like childhood, Dad's nowhere to be found."

That said, I'm not sure how to feel about Graham's new status as Jack's hermano. It feels like... too much. I mean, sure it was exciting, surprising and altogether unpredicted by anyone (as far as I know. Prove me wrong), but at the same time, it might be too much of a twist; might be too sensational.

It's certainly believable, as we know little to nothing about Graham up to this point, save for his role in the Sentox nerve gas plot and the execution of David Palmer. He may not even be the one ultimately at the top of this whole thing; that could for all we know be Farmer Hoggett aka Phillip Bauer. Wouldn't that be interesting...

Additionally, I am not sure how far I'm willing to go on the idea that Jack suspects Graham of some sort of wrongdoing right off of the bat. Again, I kind of feel that Jack is still a bit off mentally and, the bomb having gone off mere minutes previous, simply looking for someone to blame. Enter Graham, who happens to be the right person entirely, but still. I was kind of hoping he was going to go all Paul Raines and electrocute the guy when he ripped that light out of the wall, but ah well. Nostalgia...

More on the other stuff that wasn't really part of the plot but still caught my attention:

- What the hell is up with Sandra Palmer? I realize she's the president's sister, but damn. Chill. You should know that it's good for the country to get this information. They're in a jail, guards all around, in the middle of a courtyard. What does she think is going to happen.

- I don't trust Nadia Yassir at all. Not yet. I think there was some sort of subtle bolstering of my opinion by the producers when they elected to not show her continuation of Buchanan's questioning at all. She came out, said dude was clean and he walked. I don't like it.

- Thomas Lennox reminds me of the guy in Lord of the Rings keeping the King of Rohan under his control. The guy is sheisty, and in the preview for next week's episode he says that Karen Hayes needs to go. Buchanan is going to be pissed.

- I am still in shock that Graham is Jack's brother. Still in shock Curtis is dead. If Chloe broke her toe, I don't think I could take it.

- When Jack saved the dude in the helicopter, I found myself thinking "come on, really?" It was too saccharine for me.

Also, courtesy of Gwen's internet sleuthing, I am able to see each death of the season over and over again, and find all the info I'll ever need on said deaths. I can't wait until Jack goes psychotic, as I'm sure he will.

Check out Blogs4Bauer for more 24 than you can possible handle. If you've just come from there, welcome! Feel free to check out the rest of the blog.

Surprise!

I will return to inane commentary regarding my working experiences until this time next week. Enjoy!

Okay, campers, rise and shine. Don't forget your booties, because it's cold out there today.

2007-01-22T13:28:00.000-05:00

Winter is finally here. I'm happy. I'm also well prepared, as there isn't any heat in my office so I've been wearing a big jacket to work for months. Let me re-phrase that: there is heat, but the place is two and a half stories tall inside, so it kind of rises up and escapes out of the million drafty windows. 'Nuff said.

I met the last Eagles fan still standing on the corner of 20th and Chestnut a few days back. I was waiting at the light, on my bike, and he was waiting to cross the street. The guy seemed a little un-kept, possibly one of the type that asks for cigarettes and change all the time. He didn't ply me for either, but instead asked if I was following football this year.

"Sure," I responded. Some playoff games last weekend right?"

"You think the birds are gonna do anything this year?" he asked.

"I don't know, I don't follow the offseason trades really" was my reply.

"Yeah, but like, this year. The playoffs man. You think the birds are gonna go anywhere this year?"

I thought I had mis-heard him, but I was mistaken. I didn't have the heart to tell him they'd lost just that past weekend. Maybe he was still in shock. Either way it made me smile.

Read this article and tell me it doesn't sound eerily familiar despite it's age. My favorite part is where the writer says the Eagles do not have a talented receiver like Terrell Owens to carry them. Interesting...

I have little to no desire to watch the Super Bowl this year. All I can say is that I will be rooting for the NFC. That hasn't happened... ever. Lovie and Tony. Sounds like some sort of awful WB drama series. Also, I'm glad the United States Saints love fest can now officially end. I'm sick of hearing how they cured an ailing city, and how Reggie Bush's tears are the cure for Cancer but since he's too much of a man to cry the world has to suffer or some shit.

Rage Against the Machine is getting back together, if only for a moment.

Biking to work this morning was fun, let me tell you. My bike doesn't really have tires adequate for dealing with moisture, much less snow and/or slush. When I stepped out of my front door this morning, I almost bit it outright on the front step. My foot slipped from under me, and my bike slid outward toward the street. I got my bearings, and headed toward work.

As I'm rolling downhill on Lombard toward the South St. bridge, I felt like I was being pelted with gravel, but I didn't think too much of it as I was trying to concentrate on rolling forward instead of say, sideways, which is where my bike wanted to go.

I rolled up to a traffic light and glanced down. Turns out I was being pelted with gravel, which was contained in the slush being kicked up by my tires. Of course I was wearing light pants, so I looked like some sort of house painter. Or some idiot who just rode his fender-less bike through 20+ blocks of slush.

24, hour 5 airs tonight. Jack Bauer wouldn't have lost to the Colts on a run up the middle.

I started a second job this weekend at the Flying Monkey Patisserie in Reading Terminal Market. It's only two days a week, Saturday and Sunday mostly, but it'll be a nice deviation from sitting at a desk.

I worked on Sunday for seven hours, but the time seemed to slide by. I practiced zen and the art of cookie-rolling, manufacturing a few hundred small cooking-dough balls for baking. The job, it seems, is just a lot of random tasks such as rolling cookie dough, icing cupcakes, and doing some dishes. Not too bad, really, and I get a little extra money too. Plus I get free coffee or espresso that isn't the crappy stuff from Backstage.

On an unrelated note I've watched 10 episodes of The Wire in the past two days. It's a very good show, one which Drew says is the best show on television. While I would tend to disagree, it is not because the show is of a lesser quality than others. Rather, because it's on HBO, it has some fundamental differences that allow it to be a much better show that if it aired on network TV. If you took the show and translated it to a prime time slot on Fox, NBC etc., there would have to be some major changes, and I think it would lose some of it's punch.

It's a good show, and I'm going to watch the second season just as soon as I finish the first one.

Hilarious.

As I typed this, I was listening to Journey's 'Open Arms' on repeat. So you know.

Friday means little or no work, but lots of speculation

2007-01-19T11:15:00.000-05:00

Funny post, albeit a year old now, about drinking with Keifer Sutherland. The picture to the right is courtesy of the user bris1985 on deviantART

There is something I feel I didn't really get to before, a nuance about the new season of 24 that may or may not turn out to be anything at all. In the first hour of the show, the first terrorist seen is not Middle Eastern, not European or American, but Asian. Could this just be a coincidence? In past seasons the terrorists have all been of the same race. They tend to homogenize themselves pretty well that way.

This would make for an interesting twist, if somehow the Chinese were involved this season, considering the recent history between that government and a one Jack Bauer. I'm not sure that they are, though; I tend to think that the single Asian jihadist is an anomaly. I'm not sure that I am ready to believe that, in working with the Middle Eastern Terrorists, the Chinese would be so willing to sacrifice their men for something like a suicide bombing. I would imagine they may commit manpower to something more...sustainable.

Still, with that history between Jack and the Chinese, you have to assume that wrongs have to be righted at some point. It is still very unclear on the exact details of the exchange between the two governments, and I personally don't feel resolved over the whole situation. There's something brewing there, and so far the Asian suicide bomber is the only link (aside from the obvious appearance of Cheng Zhi in the first hour of the show.

I tried to find a picture of Jack kicking the guy from the Subway train for this post but couldn't. Is there a site out there that logs screen captures from the show? That would be useful...

We'll see. As I said before, this season has been very, very unpredictable to this point, and it can only get better. Lots more twists. Did anyone really expect that that nuclear freaking bomb would go off? When I didn't recognize anyone on the team that went in to the warehouse, I figured it might, but I was still surprised.

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The best post on any blog I've read in a long time was recently contributed by Jay Pinkerton. I dare you to spend less than 10 minutes reading this; there are even some graphics for those who are visually inclined.

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I couldn't be considered a fan of the NBA by any loose standards. That said, this season I have been watching the Phoenix Suns every chance I can. They're exciting, in a way I haven't previously experienced in a sport where my fandom ends at the highlight reel. Oddly enough, I haven't really been following college basketball much this year; I know that Florida is good, Vandy is getting there, and that the ACC is absolutely stacked (duh). Maybe it's because most of the players are no longer older than I am, and it's lost some of that mystique.

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Seth tells me that this is the method by which insane Chinese typists go about their business. I'm kind of glad that the keyboard I use is specifically designed for the language I speak (and type). He told me this morning that there is a word equivalent for each character in the Chinese written language. You type the word, and can pick from several different characters according to which stress and meaning you want typed in to the computer. He says it's not too hard to learn, but still. I don't know Chinese, so I am sure I'd have a hell of a time.

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This is the most disturbing rendition of Rowan Atkinson I've ever seen.

I detest Tim McCarver even in the talkies

2007-01-18T11:30:00.000-05:00

Watched The Scout yesterday. It's such a ridiculous movie, almost to the point of being too much so. The most ridiculous part is George Steinbrenner, who plays himself. It's so true to life when Lane Smith asks him how much he's willing to spend on Encino Man, and he says "whatever it takes." Oh then there's the part where he takes credit for everyone else's good idea.

Best line though? Albert Brooks calls Lane Smith from a telephone in Mexico:

Brooks - "You don't have to yell, this is a different phone."
Smith - "It has nothing to do with the phone, I just like yelling at you."

Classic. Since it was filmed in '94, it kind of reminds me of watching Seinfeld, Keith Hernandez and all.

I've been listening to Garth Brooks a lot this week. I remember a time in Western Civ. class in high school when we were going around the room saying what we wanted to do professionally, and I jokingly said I wanted to be a country singer. Mr. Snyder, whose first name is Jason, consummate slacker that he was (is) wanted to waste as much class time as he could, so he said that if I got up and sang a country song in front of the class the next day, he would cancel an upcoming test (either that or cancel a homework, I don't remember; Drew?)

Anyhow, I got up and sang 'The River' the following day. Poorly, I imagine. I don't particularly remember a thunderous applause. Could have been worse. I could have broken my knee like the girl who, after she said she wanted to be a cheerleader, was asked to do a back flip on the hard tile floor. That ended poorly when she only made it 3/4 of the way around.

As an aside here, when I typed 'wanted to do professionally' in the previous paragraph, I really wanted to type 'want to do when you grow up' but that sounds so awkward now at 22.

Mr. Snyder was an altogether ridiculous teacher in general. He was a fairly young guy, probably about 25 or 26 if I had to guess. I'm sure everyone had someone like him in their high school. He scrawled on the board illegibly with chalk which he also got all over himself, and seemingly did not care about wasting as much class time as he could. He'd enter in to these long discussions about things not having to do with whichever social studies class he happened to be teaching, assign some reading at the end of class, and call it a day.

He was one of those teachers against whom students love to test their boundaries. I remember him throwing Dan Seeberger's book through the third floor window one day because Dan refused to close it when asked. It also happened to be raining that day. It seems as if He has left John Carroll and is now working at the University of Denver High School. I wonder how he's getting along out there...

This is a minor pet peeve of mine, but maybe someone out there shares it. Some background first. I work four days a week, in general, since I can only work 30 hour weeks (I'm part time). Usually, those days are Mon-Thurs, then I come in on Friday only to pick up my check. The Daily Pennsylvanian, Penn's student newspaper, carries the New York Times crossword puzzle, and so I usually do it every day. Now to the pet peeve aspect. I hate when I have Monday off, because I have to work Tues-Fri, which means I have to start my puzzle week off on Tuesday. I know this is a minor thing, but starting with the easy Monday puzzle makes it easier to build up to the Friday puzzle. When I skip Monday's, I generally find that by the time Friday rolls around I can't get as many answers as I usually do. Annoying, but it's life.

Amazing underground exploring mission behind Niagara Falls. The people that do this sort of thing are out of their minds.

Also, I think about next Monday's episode of 24 for at least 45 minutes out of each hour I'm awake. By the time this season is over, I will have dedicated more brainpower to thinking about the show than I will have actually watching it and wasted more words on this journal over that show than any other single topic. Count on it.

Generic Smashing Pumkpins lyric about rats in cages goes here

2007-01-17T12:10:00.000-05:00

I think my building has mice. The big rodent and pest control truck out front kind of gave it away. Also, around 10 this morning, a woman ran screaming out of her corner of the office. Apparently, she had discovered a mouse in one of the traps. The traps that she set. To catch mice. Go figure.

I guess she told a male co-worker of mine what she found, and he decided it was beneath him to pick it up. So he of course goes and finds the custodian, who happened to be in the next office over. She came in and promptly removed the mouse, trap and all. I hope I find a mouse. I really do. I'm putting it in a Tupperware container and depositing it in her lunch bag.

At what point did everyone become allergic to Gluten? For the first 21 years of my life I knew exactly two people who were allergic to gluten. Now there's about a billion Celiac's running around. I think it's just a fad. Seriously, all these food allergies are the product of a privileged society. There isn't a starving person in a third world country out there going "Oh man, I can't eat that pizza because it has flour, cheese, yeast, tomatoes, beef, garlic and oregano. Ain't no way, my man." Never happening.

This Sunday is going to be the last exciting football day of the year. Why? Because the debate over whether Belichick can out-think Peyton and Dungy is much more compelling than whether anyone can out-think Rex Grossman. Seriously.

That picture is for the ladies. You know you want Sexy Rexy.
...I can't believe I just wrote that.

The contract negotiations between the Giants and Barry Bonds are breaking down, and there are rumors of a possible collusion case. I'm not saying that would be a good thing, because that would open up (again) a whole world of shit for MLB. I'm just saying that I'd rather not see the guy signed with anyone. Of course, if he did try to present a collusion case, the months of bleating by his agent Jeff Boris about how there were so many teams interested in Bonds would kind of work against them, dontcha think?

Buster Onley reported that the Red Sox might be testing out Willy Mo at first and third this spring. I shudder to think...

Last night I went out with Gwen and had a Bass, some soup and salad, and came home. I promptly passed out quicker than I have since working pre-camp last summer. I don't really remember getting in bed, I just know it happened. It was really nice to sleep that deeply. I'm sure it has something to do with my asking the neighbors upstairs to turn down their techno music. Apparently, the girl in the room located directly above my bedroom likes to fall asleep to bass-heavy techno, and she had her sub on the floor. Consequently, it played all night. Imagine my ire upon having to wake up to that at 7:45.

I was on Facebook today for a moment and noticed a new group based on a house in which parties are held. The first sentence in the Info section read "For all thoughs who have partied here." This was written by someone who is a college graduate, who graduated from La Salle none the less. That makes me feel really good, that he doesn't know the difference between 'thoughs' (which isn't even a word, mind you) and 'those.' Not to name names, because this person is a decent human being. Perhaps he just needs the new Firefox spell-checker feature.